Do You Think It's Right?

Hi lilangelpreschool, This is sad indeed. I just can't standing it when I hear sad stories about children. This woman is selfish. I don't know how she thinks that she will be happy or blessed in her new life, if she mistreat this child. Usually, you adopt a child/children because you want them to feel loved and protected. You want them to know that you will be there for them, no matter what. The love in your heart should be overwhelming for the child you adopt. She doesn't seem to have any love for this child from the beginning. The is no way a loving mother would not be concerned about the welfare of her child, adopted or not. Why did she adopt him in the first place? Did she think it would hold her marriage toether and now that it is falling apart she want nothing to do with her son. I am assuming the the adoption is legal and binding. I can't have enough disgust for people like that. So, she is willing to send him back to his previous abusers,without a thought that she too will be one of his abusers. No way will God bless her with a happy life. God said anyone who causes a child to stumble,(which he will if he goes back to his abusive parents) it would be better if he had millstone around his neck and falls into the sea. I really wish the little boy well.

I truthfully don't know how she could find happiness without him. Apparently her feelings of "love" for the boy were not real. Adopting a child makes that child your own. It isn't just about how much you can give him or do for him. It's also about loving that child as your own. That poor child. I don't imagine that she'll find it that easy to just turn the boy back over to his abusive parents. They gave up custody when they allowed him to be adopted. The fact that she is even looking to unload him will probably cause Child Services to step in. That poor kid will probably end up with the state unless her husband wants to adopt him. This is a really sad story. That kid is more than likely going to have esteem issues because of the selfishness of the parents.

its hard if you've never been through that situation in your life.. She needs to be happy as well even to care for someone else even her nephew. Maybe she should get the children services involved but then I really don't trust them either becuase some foster home can be just the same way to a child that isn't their's. I know that for a fast been there and I know what happens behind closed doors and when they don't believe you. The child becomes scarred for life. If the boy is adopted by them then her husband has the right to care for him as well. There isn't anything she can do about that..

i think it is not right. she had an obligation to the child when he adopted him. in the face of problems and trials, the children should not be part of it. we adults have to protect them from the negative things we are experiencing. i cannot fully blame her though because the nephew is not her blood (i mean not her true son) but she had obligation when she adopted him. she has to be responsible and act in a mature way.

If he was legally adopted, I don't think sending him back is an option. She and her husband are his legal guardians, and they must take responsibility for him. There may even be legal ramifications to the adults, such as abandment. She should look into the legal aspect of this, which may lead to the boy becoming a ward of the court and going into foster care, but that may be his best option.

Hi, its tough I know anytime the welfare of a child is an issue and there is really nothing one can do about it. I would assume that it is your friend's husbands biological nephew and that is why your friend is unconcerned about what happens to him. If the nephew was not legally adopted, there is not much that can be done. The husband will have to raise the nephew by himself of course if the parents allow, try to find a better home for the nephew, or just give him back to his parents. If the husband gives the child back to the parents he can keep track and report the parents if they abuse the child. If on the other hand the nephew is legally adopted, both the parents that have signed the adoption papers have a legal obligation to insure the welfare of the minor child and your friend for all intents and purposes is abandoning her child. Since of course we don't know all the facts, it is not clear on how to legally procede with this matter. On the moral issue of you friend leaving, if she is not happy at home, she owes it to herself to take herself out of the situation. It is a decision she will have to live with. As with almost every breakup, the innocents suffer.

No it is not right for her to send that poor boy back. He is learning and getting reinforced that he is expendable. He needs stability and somebody that will love him no matter what. If she was not willing to go the long haul, she should have never taken him in. Hopefully he will find a loving foster family. Doubtful but I hope so.

lilangelspreschool, Children will always be victims of adult parents' disputes and in this case divorce, it is really sad to see how this has turn out for this family especially for the adopted child. I hope either of them would wake up and address the issue for their child even though he is their adopted. Maybe, you could speak to either party to address the issue before they address theirs and go on with their lives. These people really need to wake up their ideas.

Is she leaving just because they are having some arguments? Or, is there a lot more going on? Have they thought about getting some marriage counseling? People break up a marriage much too quickly for my liking. Maybe they think the grass is greener on the other side. But I've seen some leave their marriage mate and then go through relationship after relationship because they really don't know what they want.

You could step in a seek custody of the boy. Considering what she wants to do. I hate to hear this. It's hard to see such turmoil. Especially when I have experienced alot of this with verbal abuse myself. Its difficult but you should really see what you can do about getting the boy help and worry about your friend later.

The woman is selffish. The boy does not need to be in a home where he is going to be abused. Is there anyway possible you could talk to the woman and see if you can keep the child. You seem like a very loving person and would take care of the boy. I know you would always put the child first and yourself second. She needs to remember why she wanted to be a parent in the first place.

hi lilangelsprepshool!! poor boy. how could she leave him behind or give him back? cant she just tag him along and live a happy life together?? being alone is not happy too. especially if you know someone is hurting because of you. she acted goodness with this kid. she could do it again or continue doing it. if not, or she is being too selfish (i am sorry for calling her that) give the kid to a foster parents. i think the kid will be happier with a foster family than to his biological parents who is abusing him. or to other relatives. but not to his biological parents.

I think the nephew is innocent, why do parents care only about their own happiness ?why do not parents think about the child`s pain ? How do they alsways forget their responsibility? If they make the child pain , they should not be raising children . they are so small and helpless. Parents are the adults , so they should know the responsbility is more important ,they are not so selfish, only for their lives. People can not live only for themselves.

Hi, I don't believe it's right to leave the boy to go back to an abusive environment, she has every right to need/want happiness in her life but not at the boys expense. She took the boy under her care so he is her responsibility, if she leaves him behind she might not be able to forgive herself if anything happened to him. She really needs to sit and think about why she is unhappy and work with her husband to resolve it so they can all be happy together

No, I don't think it's right. Personal happiness over the welfare of a child - a child you know was being abused- isn't right at all. But, why can't their nephew continue to live with her husband if they divorce? Is there something preventing that? That way, he still wouldn't have to be sent back to his abusive parents.

I think it is a very selfish thing to do. She is thinking only of herself now and it's odd she's doing so. She obviously loved her nephew when she and her husband took him in, but to just let him go back to abusive parents? It also makes me think, well what in the world is that saying to the nephew? To me it's saying his aunt doesn't care for him at all. I hope your husband's friend and his wife will reconcile, for the sake of the nephew at the most!

well first of all, if she loves her husband they should work it out for thier own kids sakes as well the nephew. second of all if she still dont want to be with him, then why make that poor kid suffer because of her wanting to be stuipd. i hope the husband keeps the little boy with him, i wouldnt send him back to a place where he is abuse, if i have to give up my happiness then i would. i think if its possable see about you guys taking in the boy. but yeah the mom is a jerk..

In my opinion, it is not right for her to leave her nephew to his parents since he had been abused by his own parents. Although she is not happy with her life and having trouble with her marriage, she should be responsible. If she really wanna leave the states, at least leave her nephew to someone or some place better than going back to his parents. She should think of his feelings too and to be happy is not only to make our ownself happy but also to make others happy too.

Everybody wants to live in a peace way.There will be nobody in a world who never argue after marriage.It will happen to every couple sometimes if not always.If your husbands friend and his wife never understand to each other and want to leave each other,they can do as they might get good lesson of their deeds.Why can't she keep her adopted son together rather than sending him back.Its useless of being good to adopted son till date if she don't want to go forward.What her son will think if he happen to heard that news of sending him back.He will forget the good deeds within no time.So in my opinion i would say keep the son with you even you leave your husband as he will look after you when he grows up.

Definitely the thought of leaving the nephew/son is a sign of being selfish. But from the looks of it if four years ago they decided to adopt him then I cannot conclude that the wife is being selfish at that time. But then the present situation is that your husband's friend and his wife is currently having problems. The very best solution that i could think of is that they both talk with each other iron out things that leads them to their misunderstanding. Find the reason why the wife is no longer happy. They might even save their relationship. Communication I think would be the best for this.