do you agree that marriage should be based only on money?
@colorfulseafish (82)
China
July 30, 2010 10:44pm CST
we know that people become increasingly realistic these days.recently i watched a blind date programme.one girl says she would only marry someone who owns both a house and a car.and another girl says that if the man has no cars like BMW or Mercedes-bens,she would not marry him.so is marriage based only on money?if someone loves you very much but he doesn't have much money,will you marry him?so,which weighs heavier,love or money,when you marry someone?
1 person likes this
25 responses
@smallsaozhou (827)
• China
31 Jul 10
As I guess,you are also a Chinese like me.Yeah,it is true that it seems that a great number of girls in our countruy only want husbands with flats and cars.Meanwhile,blind date programmes are becoming more and more popular since there are more and more women and men that still don't get married although their ages are suitable for marriage.
Then back to your discussion,I think fortune(I mean how much the man has earned with his own efforts)is a sign of the man's ability to some extent.I think it should be considered when we want to get married.But definitely it is not the only reason why I have choosen him as my husband.I am not looking forward to change my life financially by means of marriage,but it isn't too excessive to expect a husband that won't drag my legs backwards,right? So I think,if this man haven't lots of money,I will marrry him.I lay my emphasis more on potential,ability,personality and sense of responsibility of the man instead of how much money he has.But I still want a husband who already has a flat to get married and I think that's enough.Because I really don'hope that I have to pay debts back the moment I get married.And that's my total financial request.
@smallsaozhou (827)
• China
31 Jul 10
Unless for me,your solution is absolutely impossible and unrealistic.I love Shanghai,my career is in Shanghai,my parents,relatives and friends are all in Shanghai.I won't leave all of them just because there are cheaper flats in another city.I can't image the situation at all.Maybe it is realistic in my argument,but hoestly speaking,I won't choose a husband without flat.The flat needn't be very large,about 50 square metres is totaly enough.I think I won't choose someone from countryside or very poor in his family financially.Not for the financial reason mainly,culture difference I can't endure exists unfortunately.If his family financial condition is like mine,then I think my request is not too excessive at all and it is not impossible to achieve it.That's my lowest limitation and I insist on it.
@ynowiziki (79)
• China
31 Jul 10
this is a sharp and controversial topic in our country.I also think a girl should aways deceide a boy not by their money but their potential,charcter and responsibility,it's possible the relation ends up with running out of money...
The things is in what degree a girl can looking for a boy with a flat when they get married(I mean it's without any mortgage) at last?ove suppose to happen not basis on the flat or other stuff initially,throuhg I understand each individuals has right to pursuit happiness.
Just take a look at the house price in shangHai,do you think how many graduate can afford a flat by their own in first 5 years or 10 years,I know it do make sense if bilateral family can give their a hand,but the truth is this is still minority cases and may both of the family would spend years savings.I also graduated last year and i totally understand what you feel,my suggestion is to be confidence to your bf and move to other lower consumtion city when got married.
@colorfulseafish (82)
• China
31 Jul 10
yes,i am chinese,and you sure watch the progarmme"if you are the one".the girls here always state their viewpoints sharply.i ask this question because my boyfriend doesn't come from a rich family.we all graduate from colledge this year,and now he finds a good job and works in a different city.you know,the house price becomes so high in our country,though his pay is good but not very much.i really worries whether he could afford a house in the future.i just hold the same viewpiont as you,i don't want to pay debts after we get married.owning a house is my total financial request.
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
31 Jul 10
In western society the marriage contract has literally become an economic arrangement. A business contract that when breeched is disolved in the form of divorce. Perhaps that is why the experts say that over 50 percent (the majority) fail. Researchers also place money as the number one cause of divorce. This of course is just a cause for concern because I believe that most people believe they marry for Love. I have never married so I don't know if I would have in the past, but since i am looking towards my retirement financially comfortable, and don't need the money, I would probably only marry a companion that I would love to grow old with.
@smallsaozhou (827)
• China
31 Jul 10
If people have already laid emphasis on economic arrangement before their marriage,then I think their true love will be discounted to great extent.Well,that is just my individual argument.
@colorfulseafish (82)
• China
31 Jul 10
yes,i also heard some stories of some famous people.when they decide to divorce,the wife always tries lots of means to get more compensation,and the husband tries his best to give less compensation.i think it's really a shame.they are famous and they have large money,but when their marriage goes to the end,they struggle to catch money.i wonder whether they love each other in the beginning.
@colorfulseafish (82)
• China
3 Aug 10
yes,i think love may even create money.my bf now works very hard for our future,i am so appreciative.that's mostly because we love each other very much.
@aevans (255)
• Malaysia
1 Aug 10
I am not sure is that good for a person to be materialistic. Marriage is not about money, but money is the thing you need to consider about for a marriage. For sure there are people who said that money is not everything and will start to figure out whether he or she had made a right decision married with a poor guy and not the rich one when the life getting hard. You can't just eating bread everyday with you partner, love is bright but life still need to go on. I used to been rejected by a girl, her parents said that I'm not from a rich family background. I know how her parents feel, who's willing to let their daughter suffer after marriage? So..the rich one, you need to love you partner; the poor one, you need to work harder to make sure that your partner will not suffer with you!
@colorfulseafish (82)
• China
2 Aug 10
yes,when you are going to marry someone,your parents' opinions always matter much,esp girls' parents.no parents intend to let their daughters suffer porverty in the future.as my parents said:first,you two should love each other,and second,he must have some economic background.
@ashton77 (292)
• India
31 Jul 10
Money, wealth, car, houses are very important. World have become about all these thing. Falling in love these days are also determine by these things. I have the utmost request for people who would value love and fall for someone not because of his career, class, wealth but for who that person is but sadly I haven't seen many people with such thinking. People have become practical, they know that when you are hungry, love won't fill the stomach, when you have no house, love won't be the blanket to cover the body. I am sure for some all these things are not important but just because you are in love or someone loves you, they won't marry a beggar. They need to have something, maybe not as rich but they need to have something.
Getting married is an important decision, non would like to get married with someone who don't have anything. Wealth does become everything. However, there are people who say that wealth can be there today but not tomorrow, but love will be forever. I would still have an opinion that when it comes to marriage, people do look at the future and future is all about wealth.
@ron2dmax (48)
• Philippines
31 Jul 10
@ashton, you're partially right with that, for those people who are thinking that marriage is all about future and future is all about wealth, then its never been a doubt why 70% who are married with such perception are in divorce. even for both parties (couple) who got everything in life especially wealth, but why rich couple have been heard of high ratings of divorce? aren't supposed they should be happy since they got everything?
in my opinion, in marriage, there should be both---love and security. i believe love is not everything for a man to live but love can do something to strive harder for him to live. love can be an inspiration to look for more ways of living and to be secure. if a man/woman would love someone just because of all the successes he/she (partner) got then what if those things would lose, could a man/woman still love that someone? therefore, in marriage, the first to look at is the feeling (love) of both parties then followed by plans on what and how to do for them to be secured in their future.
@colorfulseafish (82)
• China
31 Jul 10
there is one moving story about love.a man and a woman love each other very much.but the man is a little lazy and have little money.so when the girl decide to marry him,few people think they will live happy in the future.but to everyone's surprise,after marriage,the man seems to change like another person.he is always energetic,passionate,and works very hard.so years later,he becomes a worthy person,and their love is still sweet.and one day the woman ask:how can you transform yourself to a successful man after our marriage?the man just answers:you bet all your rest life on me,and how can i let you down?i was totally moved by his answer.so i think love is grater than everything,and it can create miracles.
@chiplex916 (140)
• India
2 Aug 10
I totally disagree that marriage should be based only on money.Every thing is not counted on money.A feeling should be there other wise there won't be happiness in the family.
@colorfulseafish (82)
• China
2 Aug 10
yes,happiness is the first important thing in the family.many families live a happy life with little money.
@xeroeight (1060)
• Philippines
31 Jul 10
I think its not for all and not all people of girl think the same way as those girls think they don't know what true love means I think they all depend on money.
for me I will marry the person I love and I know lots of people think the same way for them love is more important than money. I think its in our culture
@colorfulseafish (82)
• China
31 Jul 10
i just believe without love,the couple will be definitly unhappy.but without some necessary material foundation,they will not be happy either.
@Handayani (27)
•
31 Jul 10
It's good to be realistic. When we will build a serious relationship with somebody, I think we must see him from many aspect, his education, his family background, his job and of course his feeling. Does he love us with responsibility, coz I think it doesn't matter he has much money or he hasn't. If he marries us with responsibility, he will work harder to make us happy. Although you marry with a rich man, but he doesn't have a deep love to you. You will not be happy. But I will try to find somebody who has a skill, ability, then we, both, will try together to make happy each other. Like my marriage, My husband is not from rich family, he doesn't also have much money and I had knew this before he married me. But I believe I will be happy to be his wife coz he loves me with responsibility. Now We have married for 7 years, we have two children, a son and a daughter, He work harder than before to make us happy. Really I and my children are proud to have a husband, a father, like him.
@colorfulseafish (82)
• China
31 Jul 10
best wishes to your family.yes,when we marry someone,we must rub our eyes clearly.and i really agree that a man's talent is more important.if he loves you much and he have the ability to make big money in the future,it doesn't matter whether he has money or not when you get married.
@AutumnGold (1056)
•
31 Jul 10
Hello Colourfulseafish. People who marry just for money are shallow, worthless gold diggers and they deserve to have an unhappy life. I married my husband because we are in love, simple as that. He could have been the poorest man on earth but that would have made no difference. We both worked hard for what we have now and that's how it should be. I wouldn't swap my husband for the richest tycoon in the world, no way.
@colorfulseafish (82)
• China
31 Jul 10
yes,love and happiness is the most important things for us.best wishes to your family.
@hotwheels20 (400)
• India
2 Aug 10
If I love some one and if he does not have money I will marry with that person because we can make money by working in different sector .We have a good relation as love ,care and understanding than it is enough to me as I even not look for out looks that we will not be happy by seeing some one looks but their manner matter a lot to me.
@enthusiasticone (348)
• China
31 Jul 10
hi, i don't think so , money is not so important to lover .if you think so you must counter so many problems . just find one who love you and you love each other .approsimate is the most important. then money .money cannot solve everything , we could earn money when we married, so feeling is so important for each other. best wishes
@smallsaozhou (827)
• China
31 Jul 10
But it is exactly true that life is realistic in many areas.If a man really loves a woman,then he will make his whole efforts not to make his wife suffer starving.Well,I am not a lunatic fringe that believes financial conditions decide all,but I think being moderate is a quite good choice to keep balance with these two issues.
@rhea_41084 (88)
• Philippines
9 Aug 10
I don't agree because if you only marry a person because of money then you won't have true happiness in life and you won't feel the true meaning of love and marriage.
@puddinggirl (93)
• Philippines
31 Jul 10
i would rather choose a responsible partner... responsible partners would always tr to find ways and means to have a better life.. thus issue of money would never be a problem!
@tomitomi (5429)
• Singapore
31 Jul 10
Hi colorfulseafish!
With no intention to offend anyone I would think that a marriage based on money would only last as much as the money would. And things would only be as exciting and interesting as much as the money would last.
@akopoaysi (739)
• Philippines
31 Jul 10
hi colorfulseafish!!!
this is a no brainer for me.. for me it will always be love and not money. for me you could earn money as many as you want. it only depends on how much effort and brain you'll put on it. and if you love a person you'll do your best to give what's the best for your partner and you'll put an effort to give it to him/her.
money and love dont go together for me. maybe for some but not for me.
have a great day to all!!!
@keshia2007r (2880)
• United States
1 Aug 10
I think both love and money are two important things that should be in a marriage. I don't mean bmw driving rich. Something simple like a honda would do. For me, you don't have to have a lot of money to make me happy. So some money is needed. Love is over all, but money is a very important factor in any working relationship. And again I don't mean rich money.
but this is my opinion.
btw
happy mylotting!!
@for3verfamous (2190)
• Canada
31 Jul 10
It's pretty even for me. Love and money both play a part in whether you marry someone. There aren't many people who would be willing to marry a homeless person.
I would date someone who didn't have a lot of money but marriage is a little different. I don't want to marry into something that is going to cause me to have money issues as well. I would give lots of time to figure out their money troubles though.
