are past relationships an issue in the present relationships?

Personally, I can't stand it when the person I am with asks a bunch of questions about the people I was with before. I think they ask because they wonder if there are still feelings between me and my ex's. I still talk to most of the guys I have dated so I understand the questions, and I answer them to the best of my ability. However, I do not enjoy the questioning. I think they want to know that they are better. The trouble is they don't ask me if I love them more, or if they mean more to me, or even why the relationship didn't work out. They ask about specifics that aren't necessarily important. I am an honest person and they tend to ask questions that they don't really want the answers to. I know what they want to hear with their questioning, but I tell them the truth and sometimes that can create problems. I do not ask about past relationships. I only ask questions that I really want answers to...and I expect to be told the truth because I wouldn't ask if I didn't really want to know.

I would like to know his past relationships by merely knowing him. Not a doubt or not because the relationship we have now is not stable. For me is just merely of knowing him. That's all, if he would not mind telling me about his previous relationship I would not mind it as well. I can know him not by his previous relationship but also to his family or friends. So past relationships for me is already past and it would not make an issue to our present relationship.

Hi Tigeraunt If they are an Issue then it is only because People let them become an Issue I have a bad Marriage behind me and I am in a new Relationship now, which I did not think would happen, but it did, it was hard at first to realize I would not be beaten, mentally abuse, that I was being respected and loved For the last 7 years I have been and still am very happy, our past is no issue and never will be because we will not let it

I think a lot of this is trust, if someone can trust me with their past mistakes or even the hurts it allows me to want to trust them with mine. Also we like to know as much as possible about a person when we invest our emotion in them.

Keeping an issue about past relationships is like having skeletons in the closet. Of course it depends on the issue. If those are petty things then it's no big deal. But more often, the aggrieved party hated the other person not because of the secret but for keeping the secret. It's important to lay your cards on the table rather than keep it a secret because in the long run no one can use that secret as an excuse when one of the couple wants trouble.

hi ann... yes it's true...we do have tendency to inquire about our partner's past..as for me.. i do it because i want to know how did it went wrong so that i will know better and avoid it from happening in our relationship... it doesn't mean that i have doubts...but maybe i have a bit of insecurities too... i want to know how intimate and serious their relationship had been... is she pretty? or how attractive she is..because i want to look more prettier than her... i think i'm insecure that this woman got my man first...and i want this man for keeps... it's a bit immature but i got over it...=)

i think with guys, well i know. they ask because so they can get all work up by wanting to know was i better then him ? yeah stuipd.. and like guys know the girls is going to say no either way, just like if the girl ask the guy if she was better or prettier..

Relationships can be so complex. It is difficult enough to main a present relationship without the worry of a past one to make things harder to cope with. The past should remain the past, but often it doesn't stay there. So many people base your present relationship on one from your past. It doesn't seem fair to judge this way, but it happens. Try to nurture your present relationships and let the past remain where it should be.

Hello Anny dear In any kind of relationship there must be 100% transparency, so it is better to tell your partner about the past relationship if any Truth has to see the lime light one day, and it may break everything I am very much possessive and free frank honest.. Thanks for sharing. Welcome always. Cheers. Professor

I used to ask my boyfriend about his past relationships just for the purpose of I wanted to know what he likes or doesn't like. If we are compatible or what. I am also fond of telling him what had happen over my exes.. That way, he'll realize why I am acting this way. I mean on handling things, handling relationship problems, etc. Past relationship will help you nurture your present relationship. That's only my idea.

I suppose people just have to know what the ex is up to for simple fact of just knowing. I beleive that if an ex is inquiring about you it is because there is still some form of caring. Not romantically but there has to be some form of caring, after all while being in the relationship there was something there to begin with. Therefore, unless the ex is completely horrible a little caring leads to interest of just knowing. Hope this makes sense..

My husband and I talk about exes to vent. We were both wronged by our exes. Mine threw me out in the street when we broke up and his accused him of beating her and he spent three days in jail for something he didn't do. Its a fact of our lives that we can't change especially since he is unable to get a job because of it. If we didn't tell each other about our past we wouldn't be being honest with each other.

sometimes, they are just curious of how you were in a different relationship and also,maybe they would want to know if there were any similar situations that had happened that would help them in making their present relationship more stable as to not repeat the mistakes from the past.

nooooooo

In my relationship with my husband, I don't think that the relationships that we've had in the past play any part in the relationship that the two of us share. You see, we've both been involved in serious relationships before we met each other, but we don't make a big deal out of those relationships because they are in the past and they don't make any kind of a difference to us now. What I can say that they impacted in our relationship is our way of communicating with each other in the current relationship.

Well no, as long as if we are true in relationships!

sometimes it is, but must not be. i think it's better to learn from it but leave the relationship behind.

I don't like to talk about past relationships since it usually ends with an argument. however, i think people in a relationship should talk about their exes, not to compare, but juist to be able to say that "we have no secrets from each other"