Should I stay or should I go!!!!

I am sorry to see that you are having these problems and just so you know, my ex husband was very much like this. I left him in the end and I wish like anything that I had done it years before I actually did. If you are honestly that sad and lonely I would advise you to leave. The longer you wait the harder it can get to say what you need to say. My ex was a mothers boy and to this day he still is and he is over 40 now.

Wow honey your story is sad, I am sorry for you but you need not feel trapped. You are not invinsible and you need to talk to someone. Perhaps speaking to your parents is not involving them but you may see things differently and or comforted. It is unfortunate but your husband has taken you for granted and hon things are not going to get better at this rate they are going to escalate to worse. If you are not prepared to leave him, since you stated you have not even spoken to your family then where would you and your children go. I would say talk to your husband and weigh the marriage value but I am afraid he will not listen but feel offended. I would basically advise you to speak to your parents, but asking them to be objective not to be argumentative. Your children are to be put first and think about what five or ten years from now if this or worse is how you want to live. Seek some free legal services to help provide for your kids and work on making you stronger as your children will need you. Your husband I am sorry to say that once you separate he goes on with his life. You on the other hand have 18+ years to deal with the children and all of life's bumps. Stay strong dear myLot friend and do not have pride and speak to someone as you need help right away. I will say a prayer for you and your children.

Hi justme101, What a situation you are in. I am sorry for your problems with your husband. You have not been married a year, but you have dated for many years I am guessing, since you are now twenty-five and you dated since tenth grade. I would think that you should know him pretty well. You have to ask yourself if you can live like this for another twenty-five year of your life. No one can really make the decision for you to leave your husband. They say that most times a person ask that question they already know the answer. I know that you are torn because you now have two children to think about. Maybe if you and your husband agree to see a marriage counselor, he would have to listen to what you have to say. You can tell him about all the thing you have mention here in your discussion. Clearly, you are worried about you marriage and no one here is equipped to give you the kind of answers you are looking for. I guess I shouldn't assume that there is no one here that can help you professional, but I cannot for sure. I can pose a question though, what do you want to do? You have the power to make the decision to go or stay. I wish you well

Okay, I'm going to be honest. He is never going to change. No matter how much he begs, pleas and promises to change he will not. You can not change a person unless they want to change and he clearly does not want to. And honestly it isnt fair to ask a person to change. So you have two choices. Decide if you can live with him as he is. It sounds like you're not happy with this so option two is divorce him. Get child support and move on with your lives separately. Be good parents to the children first and formost and then hopefully one day you will find the type of man you want as he will find the kind of lady he needs. The first month or so is the hardest in the process but it gets easier. Make the choice for you, for your children, NOT for him. Good luck!

My husband is 45 and he tells me he doesn't tell his mom everything but I know he must. I don't let it get to me because she's the only parent he has alive. Anyhow I am happy that we live more than an hour away, and I let him go on his own to visit. Ok seriously though some guys just never or take longer to grow up. I try to tell young girls to look for things like these when they are choosing their mates because "love doesn't conquer all" especially when the kids come along and they need to be fed. I would talk to my pastor, if you trust him, or a good woman who follows God. I would say stay because marriage is a commitment. We make the choices, then we complain about the choices we made. I understand where you are coming from, believe me, and fortunately we didn't have kids till we were several years into our relationship. Over the years my husband has become responsible but it took years. The only ones that will suffer is the kids.

He's not going to change, unless a miracle happened. If you want your marriage to survive, you need to stop giving in.You need to put your foot down NOW!!! Stop the nonsense. You will never ever be happy, if you let this go on! First and foremost he NEEDS A JOB, unemployment only goes sooo far and then its over. Your husbands sounds soo much like my first husband...He never grew up, we never had anything.....I finnaly divorced him and got on with my life. We didnt have kids together. You need to be able to spend equal quality time with your families. Sounds like he is all ME ME ME!!!!!! You maybe be only 25, but eventually you'll be 50 and in the same mess, if you don't fix this now!!!! That is not a life for your kids. If you love yourself, and want better for you and your kids, get out!!!!! Been there done that!!!!! Good Luck and God Bless!!!

It sounds like you and he should have a day away from the house and the children. Could his mom or maybe your mom babysit the kids for a day while the two of you go out and have fun? There's a lot of talking you guys seem to need to do but I think the first in order to do is to rekindle some of that romance, go out and have fun at places you guys used to love to go to. Find the best time to talk about things, lay everything out that's bothering you and encourage him to do the same thing. Before going to any drastic measures like divorce or what not, just try to find out what's going wrong, what both of you are having problems with. Remember no one is perfect, we all make mistakes but we can all make things better as well. Good Luck.

Ugh.... is he 25 also? I have a big issue with mama's boys because I feel it interferes with relationships and marriages in a way that kills them. I hesitate to ask what your living arrangements were before you got married last year - it looks like he was living with his mom.... and last year he was 24? No wonder she told him to move out lol. If my son had a young family and was still trying to mooch off me I'd pay one month of his rent on an apartment to get him out of my house lol. It sounds like you guys need to go to marriage counseling - where the counselor will obviously bring up things like him going to his mom about everything. Aside from him needing to STOP doing that, his mom needs to stop enabling him by allowing him to do that. She ought to be telling him - don't come to me, go to your wife. Don't tell me, tell your WIFE. I am telling you this as having trouble with my MIL before and also having grown kids, when my grown kids get married, if they come to US about stuff, we are going to tell them to go to their husband or wife. I'm going to expect them to spend family time with their family, especially if they have kids. As far as going out with your grandma, I would have told him that he promised to come and that he is coming, and that no, I would NOT take him to his mom's house and I was sick of it. I would also call his mom or go over there on another occasion and tell HER that I am his WIFE, and she and he need to understand that, and the time for this 'mommy' business is over. He SHOULD be spending time with you and your daughter as a family! I can't really comment on the church thing since I believe that is personal - if you want to go, why not, but making him promise to go with you when clearly it isn't something that interests him personally seems silly. If my hubby doesn't want to go to the gym with me, I don't harrass him. If someone asked me to go to church with them, I probably wouldn't. Maybe but only if I wanted to, not if I were to be harrassed. I'd never promise to do something I wasn't interested in at all. The cursing and smoking - yes he should put a lid on that. Three year olds repeat EVERYTHING! The mother thing - well, that won't be handled without counseling and someone telling her she needs to seriously butt out of your lives. If you guys were not living anywhere close to her it may help some. I have a few friends who have very controlling and nosy in laws, and when that is in combination with a son who is still close to them, all hell breaks loose for the wife and it's not fair. I don't know what causes men to be like this, but it causes divorce more than they know! I think you need to see if he will go to counseling and if he is really willing to make your marriage work - which in part means he needs to at least stick with a few of your rules - 1. spending time with just you and the kids, NOT HIS MOM or other family, 2. stop the cursing and smoking, 3. stop going to his mom about everything. If he can stick to those things, especially because I think he will enjoy spending just time with you again, then in turn he will become less of a mama's boy, he'll get what he needs from YOU instead of his mom. If he won't go to counseling because he denies there's even a problem, then I'm not sure. I'm older than you, so I don't feel like I need to put up with anything like that, EVER. Do I think people need to put up with something like that - ONLY if there is a chance things might turn around. You've been together for a long time, so it sounds like you love him, but he needs to love you back or there is no point.

I'm so sorry your going through this. It's really sad. I just wanted to tell you that if I were you I would try everything you can first but if he is not willing to change, unfortunately you cannot make him change =( If you are sad your children will pick up on it and they will in turn feel sad as well. Children sense this stuff about us. If your not the best you can be and happy then how can you make them happy? Especially since your pregnant, if your stressing and sad that's not good for your unborn child. I hope you feel better and I will pray for you I hope you do what you feel is right and what you need to do for yourself and your babies.

well,all I can say, your husband is so immature.The more you expect anything from him, the more you are getting hurt over and over again.On your condition for now. you need not to be stress. Stop your expectation from him.Do what you can without being him involve.This is much better than you the first out in your relationship and into your house simply because you will be the one to blame by his family and for your kids sake also.

Very sad to go through your painful story.How it could be if you move towards your parent's place with your baby.I think they will understand your problem and accept you staying with them again.Moreover you are only 25 now and hope you will get second husband better than him.Don't get hurt as our life will be always ups and downs and good luck for your life.Before you get married,try to study of a person and go on with your life so that you won't regret later on.

It really touch to my heart when I go through your story.As same happened to my elder sister last year She got divorce with her husband even they had got 3 kids,all kid are with my sister and her husband had got married with another girl.After few months being past her husband was left by his new wife.Now he was regretted for his own mistake which he had done before.However my sister is well settle herself no tension to relive and getting her own freedom,so better get breakup and show your talent and courage for women and stay happily once we once in this beautiful earth.....