What do you expect when someone asks you - ‘How are you”?

More often than not people will ask how you are with the hope that if you’re not well they don’t have to hear about it! I don’t ask anymore unless I am really interested in how the person is, being good or bad. “How are you” is said out of habit a lot of the time, just like saying hello. There are people who ask just so they can talk about themselves and they are annoying!

Hi Deepak. I always expected that they would listen to what i say when asked, 'how are you.' But, i have learned to rather so 'i'm fine thanx.' as they don't really care or listen. TATA.

Hi Deepak! 'How are you?' is used these days as "Hullo! ."Suppose you ask someone "how are you?'' and the person starts a longwinded story of how she had to wait for the bus in a long queue or bore you with other unnecessary intimate details how terrible would it be?[ This is simply a courteous question that is the opening gambit of a conversation. Now this can continue according to the individual's need of the minute to exchange his/her woes or victories. So, here it is 'first come first served' This is just in lighter vein because some person has bored you stiff with unnecessary stories that you were not particularly interested in. And to the question-- there is no need to wonder ; your guess is right. The 'how are you?' was a starter for a boring main course with insipid side dishes. My experience-- I use this 'hullo followed by a feeble 'how are you? to some third party with whom I am not too familiar with or with whom I am distinctly uncomfortable ;if it is in person it is also accompanied by a weak smile. On the other hand the same 'hullo' is followed by a full-throated enthusiastic 'how are you?' for a friend or a close person.

"How are you?" for me has someone become a neutral statement. WHenever you see someone you know, it's like a required thing to say. Likewise, the reply "Im okay" has also become a neutral reply. we really dont tell that person whatever we exactly feel at that very moment, right? it's weird that no matter how gloomy or stressful that day has become for you, you are still gonna answer "im okay"..

If it is just a 'how are you' I would only concentrate on that question and would say 'I am fine, thank you and you?' But this is not normally the situation as something more always follows which needs more attention than the mere 'how are you' I would therefore ignore the 'how are you' and go about dealing with something that follows.

Hi dpk! I would rather greet as much as I would like to be greeted, at least with a Hi! The first time you meet for the day would be one of the best times no matter how many mornings you have met at home or at your work. And it doesn't have to be just in the morning though. It's not just basic civility. It also acknowledges the wonder of life itself and that is to be alive.

LOL Deepak, this really depends on the other person. My experience is somewhat mixed…by nature, I don’t like talking to everybody around, so its good when people start their own story instead of waiting to hear mine…I really feel its worthless to bother people about my daily personal grind. Everybody goes thru the same motions, so no point in further burdening others LOL…however, if somebody wants to feel better by sharing their woes with me, I’m always all ears. So when a person (who’s not too close) asks me how I am, I just reply the usual and then have nothing to say…so the other person gets a good opportunity to start his/her own story. However, with people I really bond with, we usually have good prolonged discussions about each others miseries LOL

I wouldn't ask How are you if I didn't want to hear the answer. Sometimes I know a friend is going through something stressful and I Really Want to know how everything is going. I think anyone who just asks about you Only to tell you about themselves is so selfish.

This is the question which is asked to say hai in general. Very rarely it is meant what it is. If you really start telling your problems and sickness, they will not show any interest in what you say. Now-a-days people have enough of their own problems and many are not interested in other's problems or sickness.

well if I ask someone how are you, I am expecting to hear stories from her/him.. and I would wait for him to finish his story before sharing my own stories. but same with you, I noticed some people are good at telling stories yet not a good listener. :)

It can be understood in 2 ways,one is that asking me how are you in a good sense and another is he or she might be having problem so they wants some help.Sometimes we gets misunderstand with this word.

heheh yes its funny sometimes. But for if somebody ask me how i am then i would answer and ask the same to her/him. Honestly i rather then saying my stories i prefer to be listener. Because i don't much about myself to all the people. I keep my stories bit privacy.

I have not had the situation you had before. Everytime they asked me that question, I just simply reply " I'm fine, thank you!" and do not expect them to tell me their stories. However, if they do so, I will be willing to listen to them as I think that they need somebody to talk to. I think they start with such a question is because they want to find somebody to talk to but they got to start a topic themselves. Otherwise, they cannot start the conversation, right? So, I will ty to listen to them if this happens on me and to help them to find some solutions for their problems!

I think its so generic i wish they would use "hows it is" or something else new and fresh.

For me 'How are you' means exactly that...and I don't ask people when I don't mean it. But I've realized not everyone is really asking about you...and now I'm often stuck because I don't know how the other person intended it. I usually answer with a 'Good...how are you' and then wait for the other person to respond and react accordingly.

Hi dpk! How are you and I really mean it! That is a question that people ask most of the time as part of the natural greeting when meeting up with someone and most of the time I do believe that it is just that! I don't think that when most people ask the question that they really want to hear the real answer, meaning a whole long story of exactly how you really are! I know that when I run into someone who I haven't seen in awhile the natural thing to ask is "how've you been", but do I really want to actually know? If it isn't a close friend and just an acquaintance then "not really". I don't mean that in an unkind way either. It is the same thing when someone asks me the same question. If it is someone who I am not close to and wouldn't tell my personal business to I would probably just respond politely an say fine, even if it wasn't the case, as most people would! So, be careful what you ask because you just might get more than you really want to hear!

hello deepak! how are you? lol! well, with me, whenever someone ask me how am i, i also think that they want to hear something from me, that they are asking how i have been in the last days that we are not together or haven't seen each other. but i also think that its one good way of starting a conversation. Just like with me, when someone ask how i will answer them then i will also ask them how they are. i don't mind listening to them instead them listening to me, what's more important is the talk that we have, i just hope that the talk will be like a healthy conversation of exchanging and sharing news and ideas and not just a one way talk... miss you friend!

Hi babyface! Here I come to trouble you - so how are you? Dont feel bad if your reply doesnt register. It is becuase my ears have got trained over the years to take a break when somebody is foolish enough to respond to the question. :)

Ahhh, dpk . . . excellent topic. I am faced with this often . . . it really annoys me! "How are you" can sometimes be a trick question . . . it's as if the other person expects you to ask the same AND THEN when you do, that's when the earful of "their side" comes rushing in. Then it seems the initial "how are you" is insincere. Now, there are some that will at least have some courtesy and realize they've been doing all the talking - and will ask about me afterwards. But it really irks me when the one sided conversation keeps going on and on and on!

"how are you" simple words which sometimes i long to hear from my loved ones,or people close to my heart.words that are seldom uttered by them,specially when they are too busy with their own lives. sometimes,i find it sweet when i hear those words from them.it means so much to me,i guess.lol! if i am asked,i surely want to tell them what's with me.what am i doing for the past few days or months since we have lost contacts with. these includes,what have i experienced in my everyday life.who i meet and what plans do i have in mind.or is there someone i had fight with.