Ok, I really am starting to get mad now!

Hello, The first thing i would do is, put up a webcam probably from the windows of your bedroom where you can get a nice view of him if he throws stuff over the fence. Keep it on record, you can get free software that even detect movement and record on the movement, I'd prefer you just record making sure you have enough hard disk space. The next day, send a nice email to his mum, problem solved :)

I like the idea that Fiazio offered: a webcam. However, I think you need to catch him in the act yourself in person. If he's sneaky, then that could be hard to do, but it would certainly give you the opportunity to confront him when confronting is most needed and most effective. On the other hand, I'd advise having a conversation with his mother first. If you imagine how you'd want things to happen if you were the parent of the offending child, then you might just prefer if someone came directly to you instead of to your child. A parent will often appreciate someone coming to them with a problem first. Otherwise, confronting the child first could be interpreted as inappropriate. When I was a kid, a neighbor accused me of some vandalism (I was innocent) and called the police first. The police came while my parents were away and tried to get me to confess. Now, what made my parents angry was the fact that this neighbor didn't go to them first about their child instead of first calling the police on their child.

Hi there humbug25...I feel your frustration and I can tell you are a thoughtful person so I'm guessing you are friends with the Mother. There's no need for a confrontation...make it humorous..."Hey (insert her name here)how do I go about telling you that (insert name of brat here) is chucking stuff over my fence without you being embarrassed. I'm not trying to pick a fight I just know you want to know what he's doing. Can you get him to stop p[lease, I've tried talking to him but he's been uncooperative, shall we say. (Insert wry grin here.) Personally, I don't think a 13 yr old autistic child should be left on his own like this. It's neglect in my book. He could hurt himself or someone else...what if he threw something heavy/dangerous over and it hits one of your kids?? Please don't take any photos of anyone ...especially not children...there is sure to be some law against it.

The problem with autistic kids is that they don't know better. At least some don't anyway. I've never had this happen to me. I've always been on the other side of it. My autistic son (who ironically is the same age as this boy) has managed to throw plenty of things over the fence in the past. I don't dare let him out front unsupervised anymore because of it. The stuff he did throw, sometimes we would retrieved it, other times we did not. And the one neighbor that we do have (which also happens to be my landlord) I've told them to keep the stuff and use it for themselves if they want. And I'm pretty sure they have too! LOL Though they've also been generous enough to return some of the items as well. I don't know what I would do in this situation. Maybe put a hidden camera up so I could catch this kid in the act and prove it was him. If he still denies it then I'd probably hold onto all the things that come into my yard, at least for the time being. As he appears to speak well, I'd let him know that he'll get the stuff back when he learns not to throw things over the fence anymore. I'd also make a note as to what came in and when. That way if the mom or dad confront me (or I them) about it I could tell them what happened and when as well as show them all the proof that I have. Maybe have a heart-to-heart talk with them about how serious this is and how dangerous it could become. After all, who knows what this kid might throw over the fence next? It might cause some serious damage to something or someone. Do you really want to wait until that happens? Well, it sounds like you've been pretty patient for the most part. And I, as a parent of an autistic child, just want to let you know that I appreciate that. Autism is difficult enough to deal with as it is. Having kind caring neighbors really helps a lot. Good luck!

I think you should talk to his mom nicely already.. since he has been doing it for a few times now. I think a gentle warning would not suffice, as there might be a chance he'll do it again. Tell the parent, that's what I would do. I mean... a rusty old bicycle wheel? Gosh, what if there's a kid there or something and he "accidentally" throws something away and hurt someone..

It hasn't happened to me, but I would probably collect it all in a bag, take it over there and talk to the parents. You tried to give him a chance, and he didn't take it...

he is a child i would not say anything to him. I would go right to the parents. I would let them know what he is doing and ask them to talk to their son. you have already said something to him once... and who cares if he get's mad or if his parents gets upset. I would tell his parents for sure.

I have found stuff tossed over my fence, but since its coming from the apartment complex there's not much I can do about it - so long as they aren't actually trying to hit the dogs - and since its a wood fence they can't see over - I will just pick up the stuff when I find it

It is very difficult to deal with an autistic kid, and if he took no notice of my warnings to tell his parents, I would get some evidence of his behaviour and present it to his parents or carers. This is what I would tend to do, and if he got mad at me and started yelling or doing other things, I would just have to keep reporting the situation to his parents. It could be that confronting him, would make him worse as he may get to know that he is having some effect on you. To simply tell his parents and not argue with him at all, may stop him better than getting into an argument with him. I guess the only way to find out would be to try these things and see what works best. Good luck with this. _Derek

Hi, Humbug25. I would talk with his mom. I will tell her what I have seen and know. I will tell her this in a polite way. She can't get mad if someone tells her about what her son is doing that is bad. Just be honest and tell her what you know.

you are in a bad situation now,maybe you have to tell his parents and i think their parents can understand you.

sounds like you've got the right idea with explaining you will tell his parents. see if that will work. sometimes though a parent will expect you to take their childs ailment into consideration, even tho the kid is not your problem to put up with. its just like my sons gf here. she thinks that because she says her child has ADHD, everyone else should just look over his dealings and not expect her to keep a tap on him.

If the child has a behavior problem then his parents should be out there watching him,as that is their duty to do this if the child has autism,no matter what his age is.My son has adhd and i watch him constantly no matter where he is.If i was you i would keep hold of all the things that the child throws over and wait for him to ask for them,this way if the child do not come after it he can not throw it back over and over again.If you are ever asked why you did not return their things that they have thrown then say that you were waiting for someone to come and get them,but do not throw them away.When you have loads of things that have been thrown over then you should ask the mum to come and see what you have got as you are sure that she will recognise them.Legally you are not allowed to keep them.

well,the question sounds really annoying.but I thinking talking to his mother is the best way to solve the problem.as he is 13,he should tell what is right and what is wrong.and as you are just his neighbor,you'd better not quarrel with him.if his parents could do nothing to help,i think the last means is to call the police.

Yes I think that is the best thing that you can do, You really need to tell your neighbor and she will definitely understand your feelings, Especially with the situation of her son. It's very reasonable and don't feel bad about throwing back some stuffs, LOL!! the family probably knew it was their stuffs already, hahaha just kidding.But yes, go ahead and tell them, It would ease your mind and whenever the kid still throwing all those stuffs, then just put it in a bag then just bring it back to them. It's better than throwing back, You should also tell them that their son might hit someone because of this and might cause some accident. I know they would understand.

hi humbug I think you are caring enough to talk to his parents without causing any friction between you and them, You know he is autistic and you have a good relationship with your neighbors. I think maybe some gentle talk with them would clear up; the situation without upsetting the boy.But you do have to think of your own children too.

This is a tough one. I would advise do not go to your neighbour when you are angry. She needs to be told so that they can deal with it but not in anger. You can be sympathetic but again try and be a bit firm and say how annoying it is to you to be picking up frequently. This is tricky and I am glad that I do not have this problem. I do hope that it goes well for you all.

Hi, Humbug Hope you are doing okay. Better talk to his mom. As you have said, you already confronted him about throwing stuff and it seems that did not deter him from doing it over and over again. Talk to his mom about it. Do not talk to him because you might lose your temper with him if he becomes difficult. Take care!

Oh I am so sorry you have to go through this. Been there, done that!! The house next to mine is rented. This single mother moved in with here 5 kids. The youngest boy broke one of my tree and threw it in my pool breaking it. We couldnt prove it. So the insurance paid but told me to install a surveillance camera so they would be able to sue them next time. We told the owner of the house and finally we decided to install a fence. They knew there was a surveillance camera and it kept them quiet. Im happy to say that they finally moved and now the house is for sale. Everybody on my street used to complain about those kids to the police. The neighbors across the street said that if the house is rented again to some crazy people, they'll act on it ASAP. So why dont you try a webcam thats plugged to your computer and sit it in your window looking out on your garden. Then you'll know FOR SURE who is throwing all the stuff in your garden and you'll be able to confront them with proof!!

I would confront him also and if he doesnt stop prob get his parents involved if he is autistic. thankfully this hasent happened to me.