He loves other girl...I am very upset now.... what should i do ? Please help.
By jess_2614
@jess_2614 (192)
India
August 4, 2010 7:12am CST
I met this guy 7 month before. We were great together. I asked him 4 or 5 times that he has girlfriend or not he said one girl (suzan)loves him a lot but he doesn't love her.He has already introduced me to this girl suzan and we are friends now.Last night this boy told me that he loves suzan and he is guilty because he didn't tell me this before.When i told him now i don't want to create any problem and i will never call u again or meet u, he became very upset and cried with me.I said i have feelings for him and he told me he can't break his relationship with suzan and he can't live without me too because he needs me as a best friend.That girl suzan also call me and said he is not feeling well because i am not receiving his calls.What should i do now? i am not happy because he is upset. Should i accept him as a friend or should completely ignores him.Please help.
Sorry for my poor english.
3 people like this
18 responses
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
4 Aug 10
jess, this guy cannot have his cake and eat it too. You must remember that you were honest with him from the start and he was not.
Sorry to be blunt but he cannot have it both ways and maintaining a friendship with him means you continue to be hurt. I think you should acquire some space for a while and see where that goes, if anything he may understand that your friendship is very valuable. Figuratively if he had your best interests at heart he could have been truthful when you first asked him.
Good luck with all of this and hope it works out well for you not your friend. 
1 person likes this
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
5 Aug 10
Absolutely and her feelings are the one that will continue to be hurt. I wish her luck as this is an absolute unfair situation for her. 
@jess_2614 (192)
• India
6 Aug 10
Thanks for the response.
I think their relationship isn't strong because when i asked to suzan that is he serious for this relationship? she was quite and said i don't know about him but i am very serious.
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
5 Aug 10
he's stringing both of you along.
i'd be willing to bet he's saying the exact same thing to her.
1 person likes this
@mods196621 (3652)
• Philippines
5 Aug 10
You know friend this situations makes trouble in your heart it will hurt you so much. And you said to have feelings towards him so it really affects you. The more you accept his calls and give attention to him you would be hurt always. But at this time i know you feel like him and really hard for you to forget. The best thing that i can give you is try to ignore his calls or let yourself be busy to other things that makes you happy. you can do it i know i've been there..
@akopoaysi (739)
• Philippines
5 Aug 10
hi jess!!
if you are hurting because of the situation then dont do it. you need to love yourself more and you must not do it because you want him to be happy.
you'll be hurting yourself more if you'll continue being close to him. LOVE YOURSELF more and you'll be happier. you are entitled with your own happiness. be with someone who will love you and you only.
you can be still friends with him but you need to put MORE limitations. so you'll be okay and you will know what and how to react whenever you are with them.
happy day to all!!
@ivygrey (550)
• Philippines
5 Aug 10
He wants you as a best friend? Sorry if I would say this but it's very obvious how this guys wants both of you. She definitely lied to you big time, and he is so selfish. He only thinks of himself. He also thinks that if susan would ignore him. you are always there for him! Oh god JEss! There are more far better guys than him, Drop him! He is not going to do any good from you. Try to leave the both of them. It's hard but this is the best thing you can do, Don't hurt yourself by staying beside this guy.. I'm just concern, It seems like you are a wonderful person this guy should be left alone.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
5 Aug 10
Hi Jess,
Welcome to Mylot. Your English is just fine. Ok, it is up to you whether or not you still want to be friends with this guy but I don't think you should do it out of guilt. Take some time and think long and hard about this. He lied to you and told you that he did not have a girlfriend. He led you on and let you believe that you and he had something good going on. You even became friends with the girl he is now admitting to you that he "loves". I can only imagine that he told her the same story so that he had both of you hanging. I'm sorry but the guy sounds like a player and not very much of a friend. Even now...his tears aren't about hurting you. They are about how HE can't live without you being his best friend. It sounds as if it is all about HIM and HIS feelings and needs and to heck with yours. I would not want him as a friend or a boyfriend.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Aug 10
Jess he loves this other girl and he cannot have you too even as a friend, with her there this would eventually become a thorn in her
'side as he sounds like he is torn between the two of you. I would
forget him and find a boyfriend who is true only to you.I would
really give up on him aS it will just not work. this is my opinion but its
ultimately up to you what you do. that is just my suggestion.
@puddinggirl (93)
• Philippines
5 Aug 10
hi Jess,
this is really a very familiar situation.Sorry to all the guys that may have read this, but GUYS are usually insensitive of any lady's feelings, they are selfish and self centered. There's no way a guy needs 2 ladies at the same time, it is just so unfair!.There is no such things as friends with benefits.A guys must realize that. as i can see your situation based on what you have stated ,this guy is taking both of you for granted. Sorry if I may be too harsh but i jist dont like it when women are being treated this way.
@FaderPeter (35)
• Thailand
5 Aug 10
Jess,
You have to forget about this guy because as a boyfriend he is no good. He was never honest about his relationship with Suzan, so that can mean he isnt being honest about other things too. You shouldnt completely ignore him because that would just be plain mean. Its always good to still be friends, maybe you might be able to help to learn how to be more honest with people since he still doesnt know how to be honest!
@achilles2010 (3051)
• India
5 Aug 10
Hi jess, you English is just fine. I see you are in quite a situation. No one can love two persons at the same time. If someone tells me this I would never believe him. I would get rid of the person as soon as I can. I wouldn't believe him for a sec. I wish you well.
@Laurelle11 (409)
• Australia
4 Aug 10
Hi Jess, I am sorry for what these two are doing to you and I would be asking myself if he really wanted you to be his friend why didn't he tell you about the other girl from the beginning and what exactly has he told Suzan about you and the relationship you have together. I mean why would any girl with a bit of respect for herself want her boyfriend mopping about another girl. I think you should ignore the both of them and move on. It sounds really strange to me and I think as much as it hurts you would be better off without him in your life.
@MrShaunB (12)
•
5 Aug 10
All of the advise you have received that has encouraged you to leave is the best thing you can do. You dont have to explain yourself any further than the truth will allow. As long as you have told him exactly how you feel then there is nothing more to be said. If you would like to avoid further heartache caused by this situation it would be best to remove yourself from it. The people involved in the situation seem selfish and didnt consider your feelings when they first had the chance, and that, in my opinion, is a good enough reason to distance yourself and a lover or friend.
@maanrodriguez (604)
• Philippines
4 Aug 10
personally, I would drop the guy. he basically wants a back up to his current relationship which is just unfair for you. also i doubt you can be friends especially because you have feelings for him. you might end up doing something you'll regret. remember this: if a guy truly truly has feelings for you, he will choose you no matter what. dont allow yourself to be victimized by these types of guys.
@louisefrank (356)
•
4 Aug 10
Best friend? It sounds as if he's keeping you at hand in case his relationship with Suzan doesn't work out. You are lucky that he has chosen Suzan - because I'll make a bet with you that this relationship doesn't last. You are a beautiful woman and will find a man who deserves you and respects you. Never settle for second best. It's OK to be friendly, but I think being "best friends" is a step too far. Play it cool! Good luck to you and I'm sure you'll find your perfect man soon.
@mitzcam (1)
• Jamaica
4 Aug 10
Hi Jess,
Sometimes these things happen. While what he did was wrong but he did say Suzan loves him but he didn't. I think he behaved like a child for not professing his love for Suzan while making you think he was only in love with you.At this point you are igonoring his call because you are upset and have not gotten over this. I find that accepting one as a friend sometime helps to heal the wounds but only if you are strong enough to allow it to remain as such and not get caught up again.
All the best.
@h0n3sty (6)
• United States
4 Aug 10
I think if you and suzan aren't having a problem and he needs you as a friend then i think you should be there for him, maybe he just don't know what he wants right now but he knows for sure he wants your friendship. Do it girl! GOODLUCK!
