tired of loving you

I agree with you, dear. It takes two to tango as the saying goes. When one is singing a different tune than the other then it could be very stressful and therefore it seems that the relationship will not going to work out even if there's still love for each other.Though the love is there but it seems useless to fight fot it when there's no need to be fighting for it.Time to give up on love...:-( Thank you for sharing your thoughts, P3ks.;-)

Very rightly said p3ks626.

Hi, Buystander. Thank you for dropping a line here.:) I do agree with you that I don't feel appreciated and reciprocated, thus, I feel tired of always the one giving...But, lately, it seems so complicated because he seems like trying to give me what I had been asking for years but I don't know how to respond to it anymore... I think it is quite late...

Sigh... You have wisely stated it...Though it took him too long to break his habit of being irresponsible but at least right now, I'd like to believe, that he is slowly emerging from that habit. Whilst me, I have come to unknowingly obtain the bad habit of getting frustrated because of him... Too bad that we are always going in the opposite side...

habits, particularly those called bad, are oftentimes hard to break... it also applies to what one have been used to and then there's a sudden change... especially when the expectation has become a longing... then it comes... go to tofler...

Do what you feel is right for you. If he is Finally acting the way you want him to , then Why leave?

Hello, Sarahruthbeth.:) You are right by saying that. However, in my part, it is not as easy as it sounds... Especially, right now that he seems doing his best to be a good father and a good husband, too. Only, I feel like it is kind of late for him to do that.... I felt I'm tired of waiting that even if he is doing his part now, I couldn't truly feel it anymore... Thing is, I had held on when he was so difficult to handle and now that he is making it easy for me, why would I leave?

My mind s telling me that the right thing to do is to stay.But my heart is just so afraid that his behavior is just temporary and that he will only hurt me sooner or later like the way he did...Sigh... Is it worth to take another risk? Or I'll just think of myself this time...

dear, Love is one of the best thing ever happens in our lives. Yet it is also the worst thing when it breaks our heart. As long we knew we've done our best,there is nothing to regret,for we did our best,only that our best wasn't good enough. It is worth losing a love after all the fight and struggle than losing a love we never tried anything to win.

Sigh... that is my principle, too, dear... But for how long are we going to fight for that love if we feel that somehow it is futile battle that you can never win? For how long? as long as one can endure it? Very sad reality....

That could be a very scary fact, Jaiho... For love to drift away... You definitely have a clear understanding of what love is and what could be the consequence when one is in love.How can I argue with you? What you said are exactly the same thing that I believe about what truly love is... Thank you, dear, for sharing your thoughts. Have a great weekend.:)

There must be something wrong with your pc, dear, ei? :) I responded to your first response. Thank you for exerting efforts, dear. I truly appreciate it a lot. Have a great day, Bystander.:)

It sometimes happens to me, too.And I hate it especially when I have typed a very long response already...:)

actually, it's the service provider... it's so unreliable... just cuts off in the middle of a response and returns with a blank screen...

Hello, Julius.:) I do agree that once we decide to love someone it should be unconditional. But, with the many ups and downs (more downs than ups)how long can you sustain that love especially if you are given that feeling that you aren't needed? Tiring of loving the one you used to love is like telling there's something not quite right in your feelings, I agree... Thanks for sharing your thoughts.:)

"unconditional love" really happens especially if you have the one you loved the most...but if the phrase "tired of loving" entered in your relationship,well then think about it,because i think this is the start of fading of love for someone you have give your unconditional love.

Anneish, hello.:) You could be right or you could be wrong. I think the love can never fade away despite of the fact that the heart feels tired of loving that person anymore. You can not simply show more love anymore. It seems that every possible love you can give has been exhausted therefore there's nothing to show. However, deep inside of that tired heart is the love that just resting. I bet once it has rested it will start loving again... Am I correct? Thank you for dropping by and share your thoughts here.Welcome to Mylot, too. Have a great day.:)

Okay, if kids are involved, this is tricky, but often times, they kind of know that a divorce is on the way or they pick up that something isn't right. When my boyfriend's parents split, it was not big surprise to him. His father was a jerk and he was very mean to his mother, so his mother said, "I'm done", got her things, took the kids, and left. Now, it really does depend on your situation. You may want to talk to your children and ask them "Hey, what do you kids think of your father and me? What do you think of our relationship?" and see what kind of reaction you get. Ask them what they think of their father? Have they noticed anything different or out of the ordinary? Do it kind of nonchalantly, don't ask them all of the questions at once, but just monitor things. Get information.

Hi, Rogue. Thank you for dropping and joining in this discussion. Pleased to have you here.:) I think you are right there. The spark was no longer present and no matter what we do it is just so frustrating that we seem can not reach out to each other anymore. The kind of feeling that feels like so near and yet so far from each other. Are kids enough reason to think that the relationship is worth saving? Because I'm partly torn in between... But right now, for the love of my kids, I'm holding on, not to my partner's love but to their love... Thank you, dear for giving light to this discussion. I really appreciate it a lot.:-)

It is not as easy as that, Rogue... My kids are just too young to comprehend. A three year old and a 4 month-old baby.All they think about is themselves. The three year old wants us both. She doesn't want to be left by me nor by her father.My husband seems doing his best, too, to win me back but I'm not sure anymore if he can really do that... I guess, kind of late for that... But, still, it is difficult on my part now that he is trying to rebuild my trust and love... I feel really crazy about this...

I can understand agony in your point that it really hurts is the other one does not acknowledge our love and care. La la la love! :)

Aha! Wisely said , dear.:-) I do agree that it takes two to tango. :) It isn't just disappointing but it is heartbreaking if our loved ones will tell us they don't need our love when that's what we always been giving to them from the very beginning they came to our lives... I'm not losing hope,dear. I'm just wondering if I'll be able to sustain the love I have when no one needs it. Sigh... sometimes, reality is soooo cruel... Thank you, dear for sharing your candid thoughts. La la la love.:)

There are some things in life worth fighting for. Marriage is not an "I feel" thing. If you ditch your marriage every time you don't "feel like loving him", then you should never get married, and never be with anyone.... because I don't care how good a guy you get, there will always be seasons of marriage where you don't feel like being married. I would still try. I'd get a book, get some counseling, get some help, and try. Now maybe nothing will help... maybe it's too far gone to make it through... But I would do everything possible to salvage the marriage first. Then if you still end up breaking apart, you will know you did everything you could.

Yes, maybe that is what I'm doing wrong here. I always FEEL. I never think when it comes to my husband and my children and especially for me. My husband has grown accustomed to the fact that I can always be there for him because I still FEEL that I can love him no matter what. You are right. May be I should start reading books about good marriages.Try to salvage whatever is left and see how it works. Give it another try for the nth time....May God give me strength... Thank you for shaking me a little.:)

Once I asked him what he likes or love about me, his answer was the way I am loving him; spoiling him to almost anything and everything...It means I have given him everything I could give him and there's nothing I can give him that is far more greater than what I already did. I don't think, there's such a book that will somehow influence the way I feel for him now and the way I see my life with him... I am sad to admit that despite of his improvements being a husband and a father, I don't feel it anymore... Thank you, Andy, for sharing your thoughts. Have a wonderful day.:)

If you were referring to HIM SAYING THOSE WORDS TO ME FACE TO FACE, thing is, he NEVER SAID THOSE WORDS TO ME. He told a friend this : WHAT IS A WIFE, ANYWAY? Painful, isn't it? Despite of me trying to do everything for him and our kids... It was a year ago, right now he seems doing his best to be a good father and husband, but, I can't feel it snymore. I got tired of waiting...

Despite of the sadness and confusion I am feeling right now, your response sent me a smile, Ldyshkspr.:)I'd say thank you for that. No, he did not tell me straight but he told a friend "What is a wife, anyway?" I have stayed because of the kids and I was really patient waiting for him to somehow realize my worth. Right now, he seems trying to do his best being a good father and husband but I don't feel it anymore. I felt that I have already drifted away... It's kind of too late....

Hi there, Meirhu. :) Thank you for sharing this idea. I was surprised that this kind of hype can last up to seven years. My relationship is just 5 years old and yet, we've been through a lot of conflicts. But, I can't deny the fact that it is seems logical to put it that way. Right now, I don't know where direction to look to to get inspiration and see my husband in a different light of love. That is something I need to search and hopefully I will find it soon.:) Thank you for sharing this valuable thoughts.Have a great day.:)

There are a LOT of directions that you can take. Want to talk about it ?

Hello, Hotwheels.Thank you for dropping a line here.:) Sometimes in a relationship it is difficult to tell who'd give more and who'd take more. Who'd sacrifice and who wouldn't. This is what I have learned about this roller coaster relationship. However, I find myself always at the giving side. I've given everything to the extent that nothing is left for me. Self respect is the only vessel I have right now to go on moving forward. Of course, strengthen by the love of my kids. I'm glad to hear that you've gotten over this kind of situation, though. I know I will,too, someday.:)

Colourfriend, thank you for dropping a line here.Welcome to Mylot, too.:) I have been giving instead of taking for such a looooong time. I knew how much I loved him that it was ok for me to always be the giver , at least most of the time, rather than expect him to give him what I need. But, it took him a much longer time to realize that I am also human and that I needed to feel loved, respected and taken cared of, too, even once in a while. Thus, I got tired hoping and wishing we'll have a harmonious relationship...

No, I'm not being a martyr. My husband did not tell me he doesn't need me. His exact words were WHAT IS A WIFE, ANYWAY? .This he told a friend...despite of what he told her, he still doing those things that he used to do. (SEE MY OTHER DISCUSSIONS). But, still, my pain lingers from knowing he told her such... Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Screwdriver.:)

Hi there, Paula. :) From someone who had experienced the same thing I am going through right now, I couldn't help but to agree with you. You have clearly described what I am feeling... I hope you were able to get over it...I'm wishing for your happiness, dear.:) Thank you for empathizing with me...:)

Hi there, Mods.:) It is a good thing that he was open telling you that he needed space from you. Perhaps, having a different life will somehow give you a little space to breath and whatever love that was left will pave the way, not for love but for respect you used to feel for each other. This is tough when you have kids and you have been depending on him for financial support... Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts about this. May God bless you always.;-)

Yes, I do agree with, Eleven... It is never easy when breaking up seems the only solution to what you used to worked on for so hard...There could be so many factors tat need to be considered , the greatest of them all is the children. Because it is their lives that will be put in jeopardy because of this situation... Thank you for dropping by here and let me welcome you in Mylot. :)

Yes. It is true that it is easier said than done especially if you're not in my shoes. But, I'd give the same piece of advise to someone if they'd ask me what to do with this kind of situation. I don't want to be selfish to MY KIDS. They have the right to feel their father's love. (He is a good father, providing them of their needs and right now, he is doing his best to be a hands-on pop to them, too.)I had resented him because he was taking them for granted and now that he does his part as a father, I can see no reason why I should leave him... Being a husband, lately, I noticed he seems sensitive to my needs and was trying to really be cooperative and helpful...May be because, right now, he needs me (I discover something that bothers him. But, it's another story.) I'm not sure now what to do. I'm torn between staying and leaving... Thank you, Akopoaysi.Magandang umga sa yo.:)

Hello, Thepankajnegi.:) I do agree with you on this. Somehow being understood of what we feel is the key to keep on holding on to that feeling of love we feel for our partner. Yes, it could be the lack of it that will eventually drive us to stop loving that person. Thank you for your thoughts, dear.:-) Have a great day.