Please, I need help...

Well he seems to be interested in you and since you are his child he wants to catch up on the past and whats happening? You ought to talk to him because he didnt leave you he left your mother for another woman. If he wants to get back with your mother then that is a whole different ball game and I would banish him. Just talk to him and let him get involved he wants to know his daughter more although for you to accept him is entirely up to you

Hi, spazz435. First of all, I feel that your father should at least try to have made some kind of contact with you by now. It is sad that you have to make the initiative in this case. I hope that he will communicate with you, without you always needing to be the one that is doing so all of the time.

I think you should go with your gut feeling. I think it doesn't hurt to see what he has to say. For you to get any questions answered. I honestly would be mad that he missed on so much of my life. This is one of those decisions that has to be made by yourself. I don't think there is no wrong choice. I say talk to your mom, you never know what she might have to say regarding this.

talk with him^^ you dont have nothing to lose :) besides he remembered your birthday so maybe he wants to be close to you again ^^ give him a chance. i know that what he did to your mother hurt you but it was between them and it doesnt mean he didnt love you. he wants talk to you so just give him a chance to talk with him and listen to what he has to say. im sure he missed you much and maybe he was just afraid that you didnt want see him so thats why he didnt want to talk to you before. maybe he thought you were so sad with what happened with him and your mother :( give him a chance :) and then you decide if you keep talking with him or not^^ if you dont talk you will regret later.

Don't do anything that you're not ready for. If you're not interrested in a relationship with the person who left your mother 17 years ago, then don't start one. Just realize that the person who left 17 years ago has matured over time, and might be someone you want to meet. Good luck.

I know I'm chiming in a bit late, but I wondered what your decision was, what happened after that. Sometimes parents just can't "be there" for their children for reasons children can't understand. I have a friend whose partner cheated on him repeatedly and he knew that if he stayed in that relationship, his 8 yr old son would have a home life filled with fighting and parental battlegrounds. He knew that her more influential family would never permit him to take his son with him when he left, but he wanted peace for his son so much that he left. What he didn't know was that after that day, his partner refused to allow him to see or speak with his son. She told the school to deny him there, she told relatives to push him away. Since that day, he has had no contact with his son. It is 8 years later. This wonderful man still grieves the loss of contact, but his love is still just as strong. The "man with sad eyes" can't wait until his son is 18 and can decide for himself if he wants contact with his father, but after 10 years, his son will have all the same questions you have. I could tell that son reams of stories about how his father thinks, loves, plans for his son and how painful it is to realize that if his mother has bad-mouthed him all these years, he may actually hate his father and all he represents (abandonment, lack of father figure, etc.) Not fair, is it? So, what was your decision?

Sit down and ask yourself Do you want a relationship with him? If so, then contact him and set up a causal meeting. If not, inform him to leave you alone. This Has to be your choice. If you stay away because others tell you to when you want to se him , you will soon resent them. And if you let others convince you to meet when you Really don't want to , it will be a huge waste of time. You are 17, almost a adult legally so this decision Must yours . Follow what your heart is telling you. Take Care.

if you feel you can forgive him and want him as a part of your life,then i'd say go for it. i personally couldn't forgive someone who dumped me as an infant..but then i hold grudges.

Okay first of all, why does he want you to get hold of him? Did he tell you anything, any reasons? Though yes you are still his daughter. He was not by your side all your life. So he's a total stranger to you. I would like to know the story behind this, you getting hold of him. If it's okay to share it. Just message back.

Well... Understand that I am not emotionally wrapped up in this, and your personally feelings in the matter are important, and need to be dealt with accordingly. However... If I were you, here's how I'd go about it. First, do you have a father now? As in the one who raised you, lives with you, and is with your mother to this day? Not your mothers boyfriend... as in your mothers Husband. Boyfriend is a not a husband, nor a father. If the answer is yes... then I would respect his wishes above that of an ex-father who left me. So... I would go to me father, and ask directly "My biological ex-father has asked to see me. Should I go see him or not?" If he said 'no', then that would be my answer. If he said 'yes' then I would go. But I would go carefully, and following his advice, because you do not know this man. The only thing we know for sure is that he ditched his wife, left his daughter, and ran off with another girl. He's obviously not a good man, so being careful is wise. If you by chance, do not have a father with you, then you have the difficult choice of making up your own mind. That's hard. Morally he has no right to so much as look you in the eye. So if you decide not to, make sure you settle for yourself that saying 'no' is totally your right. You owe this man nothing. However, if you decide 'yes', make sure you tell your family exactly what you are doing, and where you are going. Again, be careful. You do not know this man. He might be your 'birth father' but he is as much a stranger to you as any creep walking down the street. Again, I know emotionally this is hard, and I'm not in the middle of it. But that doesn't mean I haven't thought about this, because I was adopted. I have no clue who either of my 'birth parents' are at all. I have wondered what I would do, and the answer I gave you is what I came up with.

he's your father and nothing can change that... he hurt your mom and hurt you too, because he left your mom and you... now, does he want to come back? or he just wants to greet or see you? sort that out against how you really feel and you'll know what to do... no one knows how you feel better than yourself... and that should be the basis of your decision...

Respect maybe is all what he wanted; it does not mean that you'll leave your mother for him, it means that you also as his daughter recognize him as your father. For a long time, he realized that he did wrong. But I would suggest that you can see him but don't hold on to him.

There are many questions here that you alone can solve.... Try to listen to your Dad. Open your heart and balance the situation.

So, are you living with your biological mother now? If so, then you should try to at least contact your biological father. It is better to regret something you have done, than something you haven't done. 17 years old is already mature enough to handle these kinds of stresses. I suggest that you have a good talk with your father and listen to his side of the story. You never know what a good talk might end up with.

i kind of have the same story. my parents where married and they got sperated when i was 5. i have not seen my fathere since then. my brother and i looked for him and looked for him for years. just couldn't track him down. then one day my brother logs into his account on myspace.. and there he was. he had just put up a page looking for us. He lives in Germany and we have not seen him yet but we are working on getting him to the states ASAP. I would advice you to reach out to him and see what he has to say. there is always your mother's story, your father's story and the truth some place in the middle of that. Best of luck

spazz I think I can understand how you must feel. If he had tried to see you, acknowledge you as his son, it would have been so different and now after all this time he wants to see you? I would wonder why? I know you must have some mixed emotions and maybe we should let you decide for yourself. I mean to me its a little unfair that all these years he did not want to see you, now he does.Why? I would ask why? before committing myself as that might help you to decide just what to do. You do not really owe him that as he chose not to even see you. Youmust do as you yourself feel is right.we can suggest only, its up to you ultimately. good luck and God Bless.

Go ahead and get ahold of him. You should get to know him. He is your father. He has a side to his story too. Even though he wasnt in your years before listen to his side an get to know him before desiding anything about him.

I am sorry your father has treated u the way he has. Sure doesn't say much for him but yes i think u should see him. I know u can't help but have a curosity about him & why he treated u like this. I'd see what he had to say & i would tell him just how i felt about what he did. I wouldn't be too impressed w/him if it was me but i would want to hear his side of the story. I wish u good luck in whatever u decide, Keep us updated. I'm interested to see what happens.

Well Spazz, Happy Birthday! I think that you should follow your heart. I agree with someone else who said that if you don't meet him at least once you may regret the never knowing. I would not expect too much to come from it. If you go in with no expectations you will not get disappointed. I believe that he was wrong for just leaving you and your mother no matter what the circumstances. He could have at least kept in contact with you and helped to support you all those years. I have no love for parents that will abandon their children what so ever. I would see him and hear him out get some sort of explanation from him. It is entirely up to you though. Good luck and be strong.

My respond to your question is yes, your father remains your father, good or bad still your father, see, do your part, may be he has realised his mistake by negneting you, give him a chance, sometimes, what happen between husband and wife that led to seperation may be hiden to children.