Had to say Goodbye to a friend...Let go of the drama....

So very sorry to hear this but this does happens. I too have a dear friend that I have not spoken to from a few months for a silly spat as well. I have realized that we just have outgrown our friendship and things will never be the same. Because of the beautiful friendship we had I believe that someday will be friends again but things unfortunately will not be the same as before unfortunately.

hi blueangel real friends do not do that to each other at all. And she had no business meddling in your marriage as that only made things worse.Sounds like she is a drama queen and loves to see people and things fall apart, who needs that?twentyy years is a long time so am sad she had hurt you but she did do wrong.

I'm very sorry to hear that, and I am really sorry you are left with so much hurt. A couple of years ago I had to end a friendship that had lasted just as long, twenty years. We grew up together, went to school and church together...She had a history of talking about me behind my back, and she told a few lies about me. I would always ask her about them, and we would make up. Because no one ever believed her. Her family was a bit of a gossip pack. Anway, when I went graduated early and went to college, we grew apart a little. Yet we still kept in touch. However, a few years ago she did a couple things that crossed the line, which included telling a lie about me in the workplace we were both employed. And when I confronted her about a particular lie, she became very angry with me. We both agreed to go our separate ways (I ended up having to quit my job because of my health). It wasn't a good feeling. Recently, she has been trying to contact me. But I know what this means. She has mucked up her life. I wasn't perfect, but I know one thing, I was a darn good friend. And I forgave her over and over, even when she didn't ask for it. After not answering her e-mails, and her attemtps to contact my family members to get THEM to make me talk to her, she finally got my phone number and called. She left a really long message. She apologized for everything she had done. And she said she needed a friend and knew I had always been there for her. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, not to call her back. I still care for her. But my life is complicated enough without the unneccesary drama. So I never called her back. At some point, you have to break off toxic relationships. And I guess that is what you had to do. Even doing the right thing though is tough. I hope you can find a friend who will treat you right. : )

I think sometimes to keep our own sanity we have to make very hard decisions when it comes to our friendships. As heartbreaking as it can be once it is done, a lot of people will feel a big sense of relief and I think you are feeling that way. Now you can concentrate on the other things that you alluded to that need your attention. Sometimes you have a fight with a friend and then make up but it is never the same anyway.

im sorry for what happened :( but are you sure you cant be friends with her again? maybe her intention wasnt bad. maybe she just wanted help you. sometimes we want help and make worse. anyway if you feel better now and less stressed maybe is better this way but a friendship with 20 years? i dont agree that she said things behind your back a friend a true friend wouldnt do that but are you sure your friend said those things? why dont you talk with her and ask her why she said that behind your back?

There is a Chinese saying that couples quarrel at the head of the bed and make peace with each other at the tail of the bed. Whether you can pick up the friendship depends on your intimacy with and regard fro each other. If you really like her, I belive she will feel it. And any unhappy things will be gone with the wind!

Honestly I don't see it as me meddling in your marriage. You asked what your husband said about you behind your back and I told you! Also their is a LOT of other things that he said that I kept to myself! I never told you all of it! If I am guilty of meddling while he was living here with us it was by me suggesting that he try and see the kids, and try to talk to you and that avoiding you would only make things worse. The decision was HIS to make I just gave my advice when asked. BUT you going and texting MY husband and saying "You deserve better!" Now that's meddling! Also the people that have told you that I supposedly said things about you behind your back are liars themselves and you know that! They have been a BIG drama fest for years so yea when you told me what I had supposedly said I got upset because 1) I didn't say it. 2) You believed them over a 20 plus year friendship! Also you can sit there until your blue in the face and try to convince everyone that your learning from your mistakes and moving on and growing from them but your not! Every fight we have had within the last 2 years (since the big blow out) you have repeated and repeated and repeated the same mistakes! Also you have gotten more vicious with your verbal abuse and meddling in my marriage! If anyone is making a BIG HUGE drama fest out of this it's you! BUT it's done, it's over, and I couldn't be happier! I am happily moving on with more mature and positive people :) Good Luck to you in life though!

Having true friends is something very difficult these days. Everybody is backbiting and backstabbing. But you can't just let them go. I believe in 'changing somebody's bad side to good', not leaving them. I think if you really care for your friends, you should sit with them, and discuss all the issues nicely, and then try to explain that you were hurt, and that doing this is bad, and that they should change for good. If they really care, they will change. If they didn't want to change, then you can let them go. There are tons of other friends you can make.

Having true friends is something very difficult these days. Everybody is backbiting and backstabbing. But you can't just let them go. I believe in 'changing somebody's bad side to good', not leaving them. I think if you really care for your friends, you should sit with them, and discuss all the issues nicely, and then try to explain that you were hurt, and that doing this is bad, and that they should change for good. If they really care, they will change. If they didn't want to change, then you can let them go. There are tons of other friends you can make.