Do you believe that people with different intelligence can be close friends?
By yiyun_h
@yiyun_h (183)
United States
August 8, 2010 10:06am CST
My first principle of friendship is honesty. However, at this age of life, I found many long term friendships split apart or face all kind of problems due to different IDEAS. I consider myself very open minded (of course I realized that other people may not agree), I follow my rule of dealing with relationship which is always put issues open to discussion, but I did find that many people cannot take this only because they could not know better. Many people don't want to open their mind because they don't want their ideas "attacked". This leads to my doubt that people with different intelligence cannot be good friends, I mean those close friends.
At earlier age, things are easier because everybody's idea is not mature. Everybody is ok with all kind of "crazy" ideas. But as time goes by, people get their own minds. I believe only those who are truly intelligent people can stay open minded. My definition of "intelligence" here are quite broad. It means basically a good sense about life in general, not only limited in academic or professional fields.
1 person likes this
21 responses
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
8 Aug 10
hello viyun,
Some people don't want to open their minds becoz they think it might lead into attacking their ideas ,i agree with this.
So,they keep in silent instead of sharing.
Some people also think they are smarter than the other,that gives always conflict with inter-action.
But,if we are willing to know and learn new things,we must empty our minds in order to contain new things.
Intelligence is acquired from the wisdom of willingness to learn.
Have a good weekdays ahead 
@yiyun_h (183)
• United States
8 Aug 10
First let correct my original text: people with different LEVEL of intelligence.
Thanks jaiho! Good point!
I think, we should always open to discussion no matter people think themselves smart or not. Focusing on issues instead of people's motives behind, is the way to piece.
You too, have a nice weekend:-)
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
8 Aug 10
dear,
Yes,everyone has different levels of intelligence.
I guess that's a real problem even in friendship.
It is becoz,someone wants to domain the others (feeling the smartest among the group)
I am happy not to have a friend with such thinking.
@bokal2703 (802)
• Philippines
8 Aug 10
I still believe that even if two people have different points of view, it will not matter, as long as the foundation that has been established is enough to keep the friendship going even after a very crucial discussion, or even disagreement about things. My best friend and I are common in so many ways, and yet too different when it comes to open mindedness and patience among things. We almost break the friendship at some point, didn't talk for months, the argument then was so severe because of viewing things and people differently. But in the end of it all, we revived our friendship, because the distance and the gap that we had, made us realize that although we have our rules in different ways, the friendship prevails, and no matter how different our opinion is, when two friends are willing to accept each other differences, all can live harmoniously in friendship...
@kathyglim (183)
• Philippines
9 Aug 10
Real good friends respect different opinions of their friends.
@artistry (4151)
• United States
12 Aug 10
...Hi yiyun_h, People become friends for different reasons. Therefore it is not alwayys strange that a person who has a higher intellilect based on societal standards can be good friends with someone who is not thought to be so smart as they call it. In life people with high IQ's are not always able to have empathy for various people, sometimes their nose is in the air so to speak. While a person with a lower IQ is more than capable of being able to relate and sometimes help more people than the higher IQ person. Two people with different levels of intelligence can indeed be friends for a long time if they find a common interest between them. I have a friend like that, we have been friends since we were teenagers, will not tell you which of us is supposed to have the higher IQ. "o) Notice I said supposed, there is intelligence of all sorts. Take care. Interesting discussion subject.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
9 Aug 10
Well, ‘intelligence’ and ‘idea’ are not the same thing. Personally I feel that people with radically different ideas can never be good and close friends. In order to be good friends, we need to have something in common so that we can enjoy each other’s company. However, if you are asking if an intelligent person can be friends with a dull guy, then I think yes, that’s possible coz sometimes opposites attract each other simply coz they bring variety into each other’s lives.
@danverxxcore (347)
• Philippines
9 Aug 10
Yes they can be friends but the topic would not be repeated anymore. It is quite hard to fit in to people who have different perspectives of things. Such as religion, we can be friends with other religion but we don't discuss the Gods. It is also very frustrating trying to convince a person and to find proofs when the trust is in despair. I do not like people who are not open minded. I myself is open about many things but some things I just doubt, which may lead me to thinking that I'm not open at all. All we can do when our Ideas are attacked is just to be quiet about it. Some people are just intelligent wannabes! It doesn't really make any sense why some of them are closed. But hey, there are pretty much many more subjects out there that can be discussed, that people also agree with. I know its very hard to be with these kind of people, but my lover is just one of them. See, we are close but I really do hate her opinions sometimes.
@amrddy (215)
• Philippines
9 Aug 10
hi yiyun
Yes there is a saying that "you can choose your friend but not your family"...I have lots of friends and they came from different walks in life. A few are mature the rest are immature. I guess we should just be open minded about it because as you said intelligence is not all mental ability. There were schoolmates who came from lower sections but are very successful today and vice versa. Honesty shoudl also be one of the criterion to having a good relationship with friends.
@juliusports (274)
• Philippines
9 Aug 10
Yes of course I do agree that people of different intelligence make good friends. You know why, Basically, an average individual do complement from the intelligent one and it will really compliment both because arguments are seldom the issue as iv'e said its more of a complementary give and take situation. On the contrary, if both friends having the same intelligence level, a clash of ideas may often arise and there follows the unending argument. So i guess that a sort of evidence that if bot intelligent aren't a good friends therefor, different intelligence level will make a good tandem.
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
9 Aug 10
Indeed intelligence is not the measure of how much knowledge one has but instead in how one uses the knowledge they have. Friendships must allow for disagreement. It is the old agree to disagree concept. True friends feed off of each other's strenghts and seek to enhance each other's weakness. When a person closes their ideas off from scrutiny, they close off their minds from leaning and there is no true intelligence in that. Does not matter how many college degrees the peson has.
@asdj1259 (28)
•
9 Aug 10
It's said that the common interests can make one person your friend.there are many such examples around me.however,I believe that people with different intelligence can be close friends.Have you seen the movie called "Forrest Gump".In my opinion,the key to become close friends is whether one treats friends sincerely.
@xandavon (102)
• Philippines
9 Aug 10
It depends on the person. Some people can't handle disagreement as easily as many. I don't think intelligence should be a factor in choosing your friends. Differing ideas is nobody's fault in the sense that it is not a fault at all. It is merely an example of a 2 sided discussion which could be very informative if you can just accept the opinions of each other.
@soulesschild (35)
• Vietnam
9 Aug 10
I think conditions for a friend ship is loyalty, unselfishness,... not the level of intelligence. When i was a boy, I had a friend who is extremely stupid, however we were close friends.
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
8 Aug 10
Hi yiyun,
When we are younger, we tend to agree with our friends in order to remain friends. However, as we mature and become an independent thinkers, we are not so quick to agree with each others views, and that is okay. We do have the freedom to our own opinion. However, as intelligent human being, realizing that it is possible to remain friends by respecting each others right to feel the way we feel about a certain topic. If you can respect each others views, then I think the friendship will remain intact.
Friends who refuse to be open minded in a conversation about a certain topic and who is forcefully tries to get another to see only his views is selfish in his way of thinking. It would be very difficult to be in a conversation a person that is closed minded to everyone else's views except his or her own. They seem to have forgotten the freedoms that we all possess, the freedom of speech and choice.
@hiuk100 (6)
• China
9 Aug 10
I leave a situation when you really believe in prayer concern, sharing each other know what's in his heart, this is only possible when at the age of 8-14 years of age it is very easy
came of age when we are going to change, more than thinking, so the division will be very difficult because we're afraid other people about their misconceptions and no sympathy
therefore adulthood is difficult to find age best friend
@ruthsm (222)
• Thailand
8 Aug 10
Popular saying: "Birds of the same feather flock together"
Bible Verse: "Tell me who your friends are and I tell you who you are."
I'm sure by reading the 2 quotes above you already know my answer. But I also believe on the principle called "opposite attracts". Friendship can work miracles. It can happen between young and old, between a child and an old person.
@hshorty311 (113)
• Philippines
9 Aug 10
of ocours ei do believe that 2 people with different intelligence can get along . Because depsite the differences there are a still alot of things people can get along with , intelligence is not the onyl factor that is considereed whenmaking friendships , theres the personality and the rapport with each other. And plus thats what hobbies and interests are for . 2 people can share common interests and hobbies despite differences in mental capacities
@Norl_Ali (2)
• Singapore
8 Aug 10
People of different intelligence can be close friends. However, what make them close is not intelligence but their suitable personalities that bond them. If a highly intelligent person is a people person, then he or she has no problem being close to those of a lesser intelligence.
Unless befriending other people of similar intelligence is a matter of status, then of course, birds of a feather flock together. It comes down to society norms but as long as difference in intelligence is not the key determinant in making friends, it is possible for people of different IQs to become close friends.
