Inter personal skills-do you think you have them?
By kalav56
@kalav56 (11464)
India
August 13, 2010 12:49am CST
Interpersonal skills, people skills,--these are terms that are very much relevant when it comes to succeeding in life ,especially in a career. How many of you think you have this? How many of you feel that you are inadequate in this area ? What are the ways to improve your people skills?
Has someone remarked about your poor or good interpersonal skills? Was the remark in tune with reality or was it otherwise?
Personally, I have had a good experience with people in general. I was fortunate in getting to mingle with pleasant people at large..
Do share your views and experiences.
5 people like this
22 responses
@allknowing (132209)
• India
13 Aug 10
No kala. I am a total failure there. I do not believe in having sycophants around me which means I totally depend on my performance in any field to project my image and in the absence of sycophants it is a very difficult task to get a place one rightly deserves. When this happens how can one be an expert at inter personal relationships?
. There is always that feeling of inadequacy. The only solution to it would be to move with the tide and be one with society norms even at the cost of one's own principles. Just a thought.
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@kalav56 (11464)
• India
13 Aug 10
We can definitely not toe some one's line, especially if it goes against our principles allknowing! THat is where disppointments creep in when a person is unable to reach a particular coveted position . People who have worked in significant designations would vouch for this. THat is why the topmost post goes to suave people I guess.
But, do you think that one can still develop good interpersonal skills by being a little more open-minded and considerate of other viewpoints?[this is with regard to a team or in interaction with equals--a desire to 'live and let live' instead of 'I say, you listen' . If it has to be a case of leading a team, then one should prove one's mettle isn't it?if you see what I mean?]-These are purely from an employment point of view [in an organisation and not as a freelancer ]
Or is it all only DNA?
@allknowing (132209)
• India
13 Aug 10
One needs to trample on one's own principles to be able to reach for that 'something else' which you have put so subtly! There is bound to be an uncomfortable feeling among people when you do not toe their line and obviously this will interfere with inter personal relationships.
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@krajibg (11922)
• Guwahati, India
13 Aug 10
Hi kalav,
Inter Personal things are that define your attitude. We tend to be more friendlier towards ones and just a ok ok with some others? Why this has to speak all for themselves.
Does not it bear an ego ridden self?
I do not mean one has to mean himself/herself to show respect to others' feelings and moods nor at the same time you should be a loser as well.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16556)
• India
13 Aug 10
Interpersonal skills are the skills that a person uses to interact with other people. Interpersonal skills are sometimes also referred to as people skills or communication skills.Interpersonal skills involve using skills such as active listening and tone of voice, they include delegation and leadership. It is how well you communicate with someone and how well you behave or carry yourself. Also they help people further their careers.i have to deals with emotions of patients many times and many times i do succeed in communicating well.
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@kalav56 (11464)
• India
13 Aug 10
Hi dear friend,
Welcome! How are you? If your patients have a good word for you then you obviously have these people skills.Thanks a lot for participation. You have become a rare visitor in the forum these days.Of course I know you are busy and it does happen to all of us.Have a good weekend!
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@Buchi_bulla (8298)
• India
13 Aug 10
I am a person who always like to mingle with people. I need people always wherever I go. Hence from my childhood I have learnt the nature of many types of people, how to talk to them, what will be their reactions for any comment or talk etc. Since I was a working lady, my interactions with other people was natural and necessary. This also helped me in developing my interpersonal skills etc.
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@gunagohan (3414)
• India
13 Aug 10
I have been told that i have enough interpersonal skills, but there are some place where i lag and i need to be improved.
Many told, that i have good attitude, but i need to improve in my dressing skills, i was brought up in an urban culture, when i go for an interview, i need to be dressed in formals, but i don't follow the dress code..
I have undergone a personality interpersonal skill test and have obtained an average score..
I have to improve some!!
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@kalav56 (11464)
• India
13 Aug 10
Hi gunagohan! It is excellent that you are aware of your deficiencies and are seeking to rectify those.It is true that people born and brought up in urban surroundings have this problem.But you will definitely improve and if you keep on taking efforts ,observing well groomed , suave people you will go a long way and you also show genuine performance in your work, YOu will soon get 'GOod' in this interpersonal skill test .My best wishes are with you.
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@omaruaye (11)
• Germany
13 Aug 10
thats quit intriging, and i commend your post because it tends to bring out the real us. but what i have learnt is that, people tends to bring out their talent when they found themselves in the worst possible position only. yes becuase i have seen a case where some one initially would not want to do what he did to escape in the normal state but just because he saw how dangerous it would be to be caught. he device a means to disguise and that is talent even if its sound illegal. in other words what i am saying is that, most people tend to exercise their talent or show them only when they are in danger.
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@omaruaye (11)
• Germany
16 Aug 10
yes i do have inter personal skill. i believe working totally depending on your own experience, your own make up which is the "skill". especially my skill as a computeer student i need plenty of interpersonal skill.
thanks alot for this nice discussion.
1 person likes this
@narayan2006 (2954)
• India
14 Aug 10
I absolutely support your views that inter personal skill greatly determines one's success in a career.While working in a team,it is important that one needs to understand the individual traits,tastes and temperaments and mould one's behavior to suit the group spirit and dynamics.The habit of getting along with people of diverse traits and personalities is to be cultivated by all those who aspire to progress in their career path. However,it is not an easy task for many who are closely concerned with their individual self and inherently introvert.I have never failed in any occasion to freely mix and get along with people of diverse characters and nature,anywhere.Thanks.
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@SViswan (12051)
• India
14 Aug 10
I'm not sure about my interpersonal skills. I am a people person and do get along easily with most people...and can adjust to most kinds too...at work or even at social settings. The only people that I find out of place with is the new generation of IT professionals...who seem to be neither here nor there or keep pretending to be 'foreigners' after returning from the US or Uk after a year or two there (and sometimes even when they have been there for just 2-3 months!). I do interact with these people....but generally feel out of place though no one has told me anything directly.
At work, I have been told that my interpersonal skills are good. I've been able to work in a team and get the work done from people who don't get along with each other:)
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@kalav56 (11464)
• India
15 Aug 10
I am sure that you have great interpersonal skills SV.And to get work done from people who don't get along with each other shows a lot of skill. Regarding your other comment I would only attribute your feeling uncomfortable to their 'showing off ' attitude and this happens with me too.I distinctly feel uncomfortable with false, artificial and bragging people.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
13 Aug 10
Having a good public relation skill is one of the main criteria to succeed not only in career but also in business. Humans are known to be social beings for their active interaction with one another but some are naturally reserved who always keep to themselves and shun the outside world. It is a pity that they do not mingle with the public thus making them public outcast. I am fortunate to be born with a 'thick face and a big mouth'. It is easy to break the ice when you are well read as you can reach out to people of all levels as you will then have many interesting conversations to share. While here in Australia I met a nice lady while jogging. Instantly I was able to strike a good conversation with her and was I not surprise when she invited me to her house for tea and learned that she is no ordinary woman but an English professor in one of the University here. We shared so much of interesting conversation on her travels and her career. ![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
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@kalav56 (11464)
• India
13 Aug 10
Hi Zandi! It is great that you have made a friend during your vacation at an alien place.And as you say this is important everywhere. Only today we were discussing at home as to how important this becomes even in freelancing or in business.But some aer naturally reseved and this cannot be helped. THanks a lot for the particiaption. WHy didn't you choose Australian summer for your vacation? YOuw ill be back when the weather is enjoyable isn't it?
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@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
13 Aug 10
In fact, my coming to Australia is dual purpose. One is to help my younger sister to settle here in Queensland from Adelaide and one is to visit this place which I have longed wanted to visit. Well, I will not hesitate to come back again in future but I must come during summer time.
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@snowy22315 (176745)
• United States
14 Aug 10
I think that I have them, but I am fairly shy and need to feel comfortable before I can be myself. Sometimes it seems I get a long with co workers fairly well, but the last couple of jobs I have had, I have not been well liked, much to my dismay.
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@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
13 Aug 10
Hi kala, I have always been good at interaction with others but the only problem is that sometimes I can be very blunt in expressing my views.Most of my close relatives and friends are ok with it because they know me very well, but for some new acquaintance it may seem as being arrogance or high handed attitude. But my friends never think that of me in spite of my probing and asking them to be truthful about their feelings about me ...Honestly kala I don't think that I would be willing to change at this stage of my life and as long as My close and loved ones understand me...
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@kalav56 (11464)
• India
13 Aug 10
Kiran ! Thanks a lot for the participation. I felt that you would be one with good interactive skills.As far as voicing your blunt opinion to relatives and friends, I am hundred percent sure that you do it only when they invade your privacy.THis is natural and ought to be done.We cannot listen to nonsense if people intrude in our personal affairs.Similarly, if some opinion is sought , we have to tell the truth at least in as discreet a manner as possible..As long as our close and loved ones understand us , we need not bother.
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
14 Aug 10
Thats exactly it kala ! I hate it when people start probing and try to be too familiar when it suits them, at times like that I put them in their place which is always misinterpreted.As you say it does not really bother me because my friends and relatives understand me....Have nice weekend kala
, here it is dull cloudy and grey. Nice to be indoors with some music... ![](/Content/images/emotes/confused.gif)
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@SimpleBB (1329)
• Philippines
13 Aug 10
Hi Kalav,
Interpersonal skill for me is our capability to interact with people and it is evaluated by how they react in response. I can say that I probably acquire such skill for every time I am evaluated with the people I'm working with, lucky me, it's always positive.
The secret? Perhaps we just have to be considerate with the feelings of others and always try to put ourselves in someone else's shoes in every situation... mutual respect is always of relevance.
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@kalav56 (11464)
• India
13 Aug 10
I wholeheartedly agree with you that a sympathetic approach where we put ourselves in their shoes does help in developing these skills.And of course mutual respect is the key to success in any relationship. THanks for the participation.Welcome to the forum.
@Suhalekiff (99)
• India
13 Aug 10
Hi,
I believe, inter personal skill are very important for everyone to succeed in business, career and in personal life. I am very poor in those skills, now my business associate shows me a very big organization were they teach the inter personal and leadership qualities.
Thanks you.
@ap0calyptic (921)
• Slovenia
14 Aug 10
I could say I do for myelf, because I always try to maintain positive relations towards people, let it be a stranger, I'll do my best. Also I do not mind helping and trying new things. I think it's important we stay positive, because none likes negative and rude people.
1 person likes this
@ap0calyptic (921)
• Slovenia
16 Aug 10
thank you. I know, positive is always better than negative, so it's good to go with positive first as most of the time it gets better feedback from people too.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58677)
• Delhi, India
13 Aug 10
Hi Kala!
I can say with conviction that I have good inter personal skills or shall I say inter-personal relations with those who come in contact with me or vice versa, be it my colleagues in my office, my family, my relatives and my near and dear ones. I try to maintain positive relations with everyone. In fact, in office, at the end of every year our annual assessment report are written by our superiors (bosses) and I invariably get 'outstanding' grade in that area (please do not think am bragging
).
I have wonderful inter-personal relations with my colleagues, superior and juniors and am ready to help others and do not mind taking initiative to accomplish a new task.
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@kalav56 (11464)
• India
13 Aug 10
Deepak ! THis is my comment to your response given to my discussion-- it is very commendable that you strive for good people skills and my interaction with you for the past year has also shown me that you are an open- minded person.
My answer about that' something else' was in exact reply to what allknowing had meant in her response.THis need not be valid in every case; it seemed to have struck a chord in her. That is all.If she has understood it correctly and applied the same to you then I feel it is unnecessary if she is not familiar enough with you and does not know you totally.Your suave response is itself that' something else' here. ![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
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@dpk262006 (58677)
• Delhi, India
13 Aug 10
allknowing
You see whatever traits I have, I have already narrated in my response. I may add that I look at the positive side and I do not mind admitting my mistakes and I leave aside my ego, if someone argues with me.
I note Kala says - "I agree that there would always be the feeling of inadequacy when your performance does not speak for you but it depends on 'something else'...."
I would like Kala to throw some light on it, as she used this term 'something else', before I say anything on it.![](/Content/images/emotes/lol.gif)
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@allknowing (132209)
• India
13 Aug 10
You sure must be having loads of 'something else' that kala has talked about in my box above! Good going for you. Keep it up
Would be happy if you shared your definition of 'something else'!
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@vijayanths (7877)
• India
13 Aug 10
Hi, Kala, I think I have these skills. I can easily communicate with people and make them understand what I want to say. I think it gets you more friends in life.People will love you for your skill.![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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@kalav56 (11464)
• India
13 Aug 10
We do get plenty of friends in life when we are open to what we hear and adopt a sympathetic approach.Good to know that you have such skills Vijayanths.
It seems you have been interacting with friends outside mylot because I see you here after quite some time. How are you? Trust all at home are fine.
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
13 Aug 10
When I was working in the bank we all received a lot of training in regards to ‘people skills’ etc. it was all so we could sell more of course! I am not so sure that social skills can be taught; sure we can learn manners and proper etiquette but if a person is the type who relates well to others I think it’s a personality and environmental issue. I have been taught many social ‘techniques’ but nothing beats being myself in these situations. What can be learned and changed is attitude and compassion towards one another I guess.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
13 Aug 10
I fully agree with your last sentence Paula about attitude and compassion. But then it becomes a total 'personality' issue and these skills cannot be cultivated.Isn't it? Of course they come naturally to some people while it is 'laboured' with others .
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@kaka10 (178)
• South Africa
13 Aug 10
I think it all depends from person to person and like everything else in life takes practice to communicate with people and the more you are in the company of others the better you get at it. I am good at it as I spend most of my days amongst people, as a waiter this is the perfect practice.
@enthusiasticone (348)
• China
13 Aug 10
i am still so young . so many times i miss so many good chances because of my personal skills .i am wrong because of my wrong method to speak with someone . i will change it day by day ,just waiting good friends' good advice . thank you .
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