Trouble gaining confidence

@cbar86 (80)
United States
August 13, 2010 12:53pm CST
My brother-in-law is going to be 21 in a couple of months, and has not yet gotten his drivers license. He knows how to drive, but he seriously lacks confidence. My husband and I have offered to take him driving, in my (automatic) car, which should be easy for him, but every time we really start to get some headway with him, he backs out and says that his stomach hurts too much. I can tell that this is just from anxiety. I was wondering if there is anyone out here that has some advice as to how I can help him get the confidence he needs?? Thank you.
1 response
jands1
@jands1 (835)
• United States
13 Aug 10
First of all, has he identified and acknowledged a problem with driving? If not, that would be step one. Once that is figured out then him driving should become slowly easier. I would recommend really emphasizing the positive aspects of driving. For example freedom. Also self-reliance. And of course, expanding personal horizons. Just keep him focused on the positive so much that it will outweigh whatever negative is plaguing him.
cbar86
@cbar86 (80)
• United States
13 Aug 10
He doesn't have any real problems with driving, he is just inexperienced and lacks confidence. I will see if stressing the "freedom" aspect helps. He still lives with his mother, so this could really help. Thank you for your advice.
jands1
@jands1 (835)
• United States
13 Aug 10
You are most welcome. If he isn't just nervous it may be something deeper such as having been coddled too much up until this point. If so, you and your husband will have to go to all the enablers in his life to see if they can change their behaviour towards him.