Do You Think Grief or Depression Can Be Delayed?
By Aurone
@Aurone (4755)
United States
August 15, 2010 5:18am CST
About a year and half ago, my husband walked out on me and then divorced me. When he left, I had no job, no friends, no support because we just had moved to a new city. Through the subsequent year and half, I have been busy and occupied with getting my life back together, surviving the divorce, getting a job, relocating for my job. I teach and teaching at a new school is very stressful and kept me busy. For the first time this summer, I have time off, time to breathe and time to reflect. And I feel now that I am grieving and experiencing some depression for the life that ended when my husband left. Do you think it is possible for us to delay grief or depression until we have time to deal with it?
1 person likes this
8 responses
@eileenleyva (27560)
• Philippines
15 Aug 10
Depression is a terrible illness. You have to divert your focus from the loneliness of being alone and feeling sorry to a more vibrant atmosphere. When you find yourself sad, call a friend or a family member and talk. Open up whatever pain you feel there in your heart. Cry if you like. Get over the husband who never deserved you. Then focus on how wonderful the rest of your life would be.
Easier said than done. But you had written your pain here. That's a start. You are on your path to recovery.![](/Content/images/emotes/wink.gif)
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@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
23 Aug 10
definetly possible.your brain goes into survival mode and shoves the thought in the back.only problem with that,is it usually comes back out at the worst possible time in the future.
1 person likes this
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
16 Aug 10
Grief and depression come in different forms, and I say this because you are talking to someone who has lived it.
When I lost my brother, my emotions were kind of held in, and they came about in spurts. I was what people called a "time bomb" or "a closet crier". I would hold it in and wait to let it out, or I would cry in the bathroom, bedroom or closet. I didn't really like to show my emotions because people would say it was me being weak. Even if I wasn't weak.
I have been battling depression for 15 years of my life because I was constantly getting sick all of the time and because a friend of mine was murdered when I was 14. When I was a teen, I was so depressed that I didn't want to do anything. When I was in high school and college, I was depressed, but there were times where I had a lot of energy.
I had my highs and my lows. There were days were I felt great and days where I didn't want to do anything at all.
Lately, I found out why I was depressed, and why I had highs and lows.
1 person likes this
@Aurone (4755)
• United States
16 Aug 10
I hear you. I have chronic depression and I have been battling it since I was young as well. I didn't get any help until I was in college by therapy and medication has been a great help to me at times. I am thinking it is time for me to go back to the professionals and get some help. I think I will call for an appointment today.
@maanrodriguez (604)
• Philippines
16 Aug 10
i'm sorry to hear about your predicament. yes, grief or depression can sometimes be delayed. it takes a while sometimes for things to sink in. just take your time and do whatever it is you feel can help you. take care. hope you feel much better soon.
@devijay78 (1573)
• India
15 Aug 10
Hi aurone. You have been busy till now and you would not have had the time to think about anything else in life. Now that you have a little free time, you are dwelling on your past. I tend to do the same. But I found out that I get these thoughts only when I have nothing to do. Kind of like "An idle mind is a devil's workshop". So keep yourself occupied with other things. Whatever interests you. Or talk to your family and friends. Make a small trip to someplace you have wanted to visit for a long time. Something to divert your thoughts.
The pain and grief will eventually fade away. It is hard to forget what happend, but you will overcome that, don't worry. Take care.
1 person likes this
@Aurone (4755)
• United States
16 Aug 10
I have been trying to keep busy, but it is hard when you have the whole summer off. Plus when I get in the grip of depression, I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. I am just really tired and I have no motivation. I guess I am just gonna have to shake myself out of it.
@ladymaegallardo (32)
• Philippines
15 Aug 10
yeah!
it takes time to realize things that are gone. at first theres denial but at the end youll be able to accept it.
1 person likes this
@dorisday1971 (5657)
• Philippines
15 Aug 10
That could probably happen. When the time that your husband left, you diverted your attention so you would not feel depressed about the divorce. Maybe you can busy yourself again so you feel depressed.
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