Why can't you tell them right from wrong?

It seems that parents do not know what punishment is anymore. They are too worried about being the child's friend and we all know that they need more than that. I would not continue a friendship with anyone who allowed their children to be mean to either of my children either. It is not fair to your child or you as it seems to me that she is not showing either of you any respect.

Hi Lilangelspreschool, This can indeed be very frustraing and in the past have experienced this with my son. I was sat in the kitchen with a friend and the two boys were in the lounge but could see them, my son was sat on the sofa and the other child near the tv, they weren't even playing, for months I had been telling the parent that their child was delibrately trying to get my son in trouble but they thought I could see no wrong in my child (not the case he can be a handful at times but gets told - I have never looked at my children as perfect cos they aren't. The friends child came screamming through to the kitchen saying that my son had hit him tears as well - I just said see what I mean you coukld see my son was on the sofa and I have told him off so many times but you can't see how sly your own child is being. Another occassion he called my son a F...... B..... and the parent when I told them said oh I thought I heard he say that well if I had heard my son say something like that I would be straight out there soap on tongue he would have been bought in and grounded and his bike locked in the shed for a week as that is he favoutite toy. This lad also was destructive and would break my sons toys and as the parent didn't tell him I told him that if he broke another of my sons toys delibrately I would go down to his house and personally break his favourite and newest toy. I don't even speak to this person now as it is never their child and they let them get away with it all the time which isn't fair. At 3 and 5 with your daughter only 1 the mother should have set them to one side and explained that she was a little one and to be gentle with her and if they were they would have time out or whatever, but some for of punishment. It is a shame though that you have lost friendsships because of this. Kids will fight, kids will argue but be friends again in minutes so it really is not worth falling out over them unless it is extreme. Perhaps try taking your daughter to a day nursery or mother and toddler grouip to meet other mothers with children that do know how to be social. Huggles. Ellie :D

I am the same way. My husbands aunt was the exact same way. She raised her grand-daughter for the first 3 years. When my oldest was between 8-12 months she was getting bullied by her cousin who was only 8 months older. She would yank her hair, throw toys, take toys away from her. It drove me nuts. I would always in my mind say 'okay you can punish her sometime'!!! That day never came. I dont understand how anyone can not teach a child right from wrong. I have seen the out come from teaching that too late. Even to this day I have still had it happen. I have just learned how to speak up a little more often when my kids are being bullied. I do hope you find some good friends that know how to punish their child(ren).

Hi, lilangelspreschool. When my son was younger in age. He was at my first cousin's house with me. He was playing with her sons. They did not want him to play with any of his toys at all. He was sad about it. But, I just told him not to worry about it then. One time, last year this little girl had hit my daughter. I told her that I was going to tell her mom and grandmother on her. Her mom has mental problems and she was not watching her child like that. I don't like when another child is mean and hits on my child. Many moms will not do or say anything to their child because they are scared to. They want to take up for them. My in-laws are not like that at all. If their children hit or be even mean to my kids, the mom will fuss at them. And they will discipline them by spanking them too. They will not let them get away with murder. No sirree! I don't blame you for refusing to be friends with her anymore. It is not right that she will not discipline her kids for pushing on your daughter. Just leave her alone, because sooner or later, something is bound to go down, and all that she and her children is going to do is blame it on you and your daughter. So it is best to not have anything to do with them at all.

I've never been through this, where my kids get bullied by other kids. There are times though that a friend comes to our place, and bring their kids, and I see my kids not sharing their toys. At those times my kids not only get tongue lashings, they also get time outs. Trying to teach them that this is no way to treat friends or guests. I'm sure people who know how to discipline their children are out there. And I'm sure you'll find one soon.

because it have Problem . i will see it . thanks u wrote about it

hi lilangelspreschool yes I ran into t hat years ago with my children whenb they were 3 and 4, I thought this mom would be a great friend, but her two were 5 and 6 and they both had my two in tears ten minutes after we got there,. throwing sand and pulling my little girls'hair, I had to take my son to the eye doctor to get the sand fl ushed out. I told the mom that I cou ld not take my children over to her house anymore as her two boys were brats, she got mad and I really did not care.Sand in a childs eye could even cause blindness. what a bad mom.

I understand your plight. These parents are just spoiling their child that's all. I don't know what kind of mentality she has but the way she talks to you after you told her about the matter, is just simply retarded. A lot of people are like this. We have to differentiate between right from wrong. So, just take this as a lesson learnt.

It is definitely something that is difficult to deal with. I will typically tell those people that are my close friends that I think they should discipline my children as if they were there own. That way if they see that my child is doing something that they shouldn't be doing, then they can put a stop to it and the same goes with their children doing something that they don't see. I think that is an ultimate form of trust though. I do try to make sure that the children of my friends know how to behave because I don't want my children to pick up bad habits from their children.

I don't know if this should be as much about disciplining the children as much as disciplining the parents of those children. Clearly the boys were wrong for doing those things to your daughter, but the mothers of children like that are even more to blame for neglect in supervision of their minor children and in most jurisdictions can actually be held liable for any damages that occur as a result. It is something you don't find much in this neck of the woods. I also think its a generational and cultural thing. Many of today's parents are so into allowing their children the freedom of expression that they forget that these are in fact only children. The best thing i can tell you is that you did the best thing by ending your relaationship with those parents because it could get worse as the children grow. When my daugher was 1, i wouldn't let a fly touch her, let alone two older disrespectful boys and i would not be friendly with a parent that would allow it. Hope you find another mother with children the same as yours that thinks along the same line as you do as it is important for the development of your children to have children their age to learn socialization. Perhaps you can throw on your psychologist hat and talk to the mother of those boys and see if the friendship can be salvaged. It seems like you really liked her. Who know? maybe you can help her change. Meantime, keep your daughter away from those boys.