Relationships with step children

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I have been married to my husband for 8 years. I have four children, and he has 3 children by a previous marriage. All of my children have lived with us, and still 3 of them are at home. All 3 of his children have also lived with us previously. All seven of our children are of age, six of them over 21, and one that is almost 19. There are 3 boys, and 4 girls in the mix. We have all gotten along until recently. My step son gets into a lot of trouble with the police. Primarily by shoplifting and trespassing. He is also into illegal drug activity and comes in to my home under the influence of drugs. I have found drugs twice in my house. Nothing we (my husband and I) say or do will change my step son, and he continues to do whatever he pleases. This is causing problems at home. I say he is over 21, is making bad choices, and needs to live somewhere else if he cannot respect the rules of my house. His father says he doesn't want to live anywhere that his children are not welcome. He (my husband) will not put his foot down about no drug use in our home, and continues to allow it. He tells his son not to do it, but when it continues, my husband just looks the other way, and there are no consequences to my step son's actions. Do you get along with your step children? Have you ever had any problems in your marriage because of the children....especially GROWN children? What should I do? Should I accept it as it is for the sake of my marriage? Do I hold strong to my position, and insist he move out, even if it means that my husband might also leave? I feel like my step son is ruling our house, and that I have lost all control.