How do you discipline your kids? Is it okey to spank?

I do believe that kid's need spankings sometimes. I think without them, they absolutely do turn out to be spoiled. I don't want my children to be spoiled either. Kid's cannot reason, therefore talking to them alone does not work. Kid's cannot make good decisions, they do not have good judgment yet either. How much worse would the kids be these days without anyone spanking their children? The children these days are terrible, I cannot imagine...

Hi Clouds0327! I am an Early Childhood Teacher for several years and the mother of three children myself. When I was a child my parents used spanking as a rare form of last-resort punishment. I can remember being spanked only once, when I broke a rule on-purpose to help prepare for my mothers surprise birthday party. I now work with toddlers and preschoolers. During the first four years of life the brain is developing faster than it will ever develop. This is a time in a childs life when strong memories are being made and all of the five senses are at their height of development. When a person yells at a child, or creates ANY type of negative emotion toward the child, it is proven that the child's learning and processing center in the brain Shuts Down completely for a period of about 20-40 minutes! Once an adult offers any type of negative, specifically loud, feedback to a child, the brain goes into a "protective" mode. This prevents the brain from accepting Any imput at all. Yes, the child is able to hear what is being said; However, to best help the child learn from what the adult is teaching/explaining follow these simple rules of thumb: 1. calm yourself. 2. Ask yourself to rate the importance of the event on a scale from 1-10, with 1 being least and 10 being most. 3. It is most imperative that the adult speak to the child in a calm, quiet tone. 4. Explain to the child what you see as the wrong action. 5. Offer choices to the child when possible. You may say, "Do you want to pick up the crayons yourself or do you want me to help you?" 6. NEVER use language or phrases that belittle or degrade the child 6. Offer support and encouragement. You might say something like' "I know you made a mistake. The important thing is that you will learn from it do better next time." 7. Empower the child to feel good about him/herself. 8. Remember, no one is perfect. The adult and child will learn and grow together. well I could go on all day about this, but that might be rediculous! I say, in my professional opinion, no spanking; instead correct with patience, love, and guidance. Adults are the best teachers children have. "What you think of me, I'll think of me. What I think of me, I'll be." -unknown Good luck!

I can't say much about parenting because I'm not a parent yet. But I believe that if you feel the need to spank your child to discipline her and to burst out the limits of your patience, try to spank her the softest that you can possibly do. Like spanking her in the butt but not to the extent that she has to feel that pain. In my experience, my mother never spanked me no matter how hard-headed I was when I was a child. For that I admired her so much until this day. I may argue with her but among my parents, she's the one I have the highest respect for. As for my dad, he once threw a plastic glass when my little brother and I were arguing and fighting back when we were still little kids. Ever since that day, it just got me so terrified of my dad. I'm already 20 years of age but I remember that day like it happened just yesterday. I don't feel that comfortable with my dad anymore. It was just a little burst of anger when my dad threw that glass up our faces but it hurt me to this day and psychologically, it made me dislike my dad in such as a way that I don't want myself that close to him anymore. I hope you'll be able to raise your daughter the way you want her to. Just be more patient and try to lessen spanking because it doesn't feel good at all. Best of luck to you

Spanking is a useful form of dicsipline, just as long as you: *Make sure your child understands why you do it *Don't get angry *And let them know you love them

There is an old saying that states 'Spare the rod and spoil the child.' I happen to believe this to be true. Over the years, kids can get out of control, and yelling ans shouting just don't do it. They just quit listening. A few whacks on the bottom gets their attention and lets them know you're serious.

I think I understand how you feel. I have a 2 yr old daughter and she's really active and playful. Sometimes she do things that scares me like climbing and jumping, I love her sooo much and I want her to be safe at all times. I am enjoying being a mother but when I think that she will grow up and not listen to me sometimes that makes me feel sad.. I'm also scared coz what if I can't raise her well and provide the things that she needs.. When she reaches 3 yr old and so I know she will be more attracted to learn new things and remember it in her life, as much as possible I don't want to spank her or hurt her in anyways.. What do you think?? (Sigh).. Thanks!

I think that spanking is only warranted if you repeatedly warned her again and again. also it is best if she did something that would be construed as dangerous. For instance, if she decided to break a glass on the floor where someone could walk and get hurt, putting a fork into an electric socket, or something that would potentially cause someone harm. The removing her or getting her interested in something else is best and there are few times when a child would do anything dangerous or that would cause someone harm. It also depends on the age of a child. A slap on the back of a toddler would keep him from doing worse, as he would forget the slight pain but remember that his parents said that was dangerous. With an older child, getting her interested in doing something else would be much better as it would get to a point that you may really have to hurt them if the only way you could get them to listen is to discipline them.

it is true that raising a child without spanking is quite a challenge.. anytime you can loose the patience and it is so difficult... however studies show that beating a child will make him or her tougher and it is one road to produce child delinquency.. so becareful when decipling a child..

Hi, I totally agreed with you,it is not easy to be a good mother. especially in disciplining our own kid. I have a little boy aged 3.5 years old and he is an active boy. Sometimes, he will get naughty just to get the thing he wants and it really me feel like bursting out.But I have to control my emotion and try not to beat him ,unless, he is really over-limit,then I have to beat him gently and make sure he does not repeat the same mistakes again. I used to remind him what is good and what is bad and what he can do and what he can't do,but no matter what, he is still a small kid and he will forget about it and will back to his naughty act after a while. I guess we need to have lot patience to train and educate and discipline our kid and one day, he will understand our meaning. I always try to spent more time with my son..let him know that I am there for him. When both me and my husband are free, bring him for a walk and spent our family times together. Bonding times is really important for a family.

I don't think that there is a way to make spanking a good memory, but I also acknowledge the fact that there are some times that there really is no other option but to spank your child. That said, I think that the best thing that you can do is to reserve spanking for the times that she is doing something that could cause physical harm to herself or to others. Also, when you do find that the need to spank comes up, you should also make sure and explain to her why you have to spank her.

I'm really not a father but I remembered the way my parents disciplined us. They will surely spank our butt if we behave bad. And we will really get an earful. But what I really like about them is that they also explains to us why they spank us. They explained that we are really bad and they don't want us doing that. I think that's what you got to do. Spank them but don't use your hands and explain to them why you do that. Of course always remind them that you love them.

Hi, i am the father of a 23 year old woman. I believe in spanking although i would never spank my daughter, i left that to the mother. As a man i would never spank a female whether or not its my daughter. I believe that spanking is effective at earlier ages in a child's development. A good sharp spank wakes the child up and lets the child know they did something really bad. I believe that spank should be thought out and not done in a fit of anger because that is when it becames abuse. Of course i am from the old school so will probably not get much support for my opinion.

Spanking is an old fashion ways of disciplining your children. There are many ways of disciplining besides spanking. Talking to a child is still the best way. Spanking a child is a form of abuse.

Well I am not an expert and I do not have kids , but my mom spanked me one good time and then would I would do something wrong she would count to three and I would stop immediately because I would not want to get spanked. Sometimes it wouldn't work and I would get spanked , but most of the time it did. Good luck and its obvious you care about her, so whichever decision you make I am sure will be the correct one :)

Its all about balance and knowing your child. I have 2 boys ages 4 & 6. The 4 year old when he acts up, if you raise your voice, he stops what hes doing and gets upset. (typically). The 6 yr old on the other hand, you can tell him over and over, but he still wants to have his way. Depending on the offense, I will take away toys, priviliges, add extra cleaning, etc. If it is something dangerous, or a repeated offense, then he gets spanked. I do not spank when I am angry. I will tell him go and wait in his room until I calm down before I spank. After the discipline, I talk to them and explain why I did what I did. I also ask them why they did what they did and what they will do next time to do better. I remind them they are leaders and leaders make go choices.

I do think there are times when a spanking can get the child's attention and maybe curb some bad behavior. I do not think spanking should be the first line of defense. A lot of times children do things because they are not mature enough to understand the consequences of that particular action or behavior. As parents our role in disciplining is mainly to teach (discipline comes from the word disciple). We have to be patient and spend as much time with our children as we can while we teach them right from wrong and model good behavior in their presence.

When i was a child, spanking was discipline. the principal of my grade school was allowed to spank students that she thought was deserving of thids punishment. there are better ways to discipline a child rather than spanking. Spanking get become abusive. it would be easy to let your anger over an issue get out of control if spanking was the way you disciplined a child. I have found that taking away privileges can be a much better form of discipline. You have to discipline in a way that will prevent further discipline problems.

I am also a mother, and sometimes I lose my patience to them. But when I spank them or give them punishment, I explained to them why I need to do it. They must know why we are spanking them or punishing them. So that it will be a lesson for them and they will know the consequences if they repeat it again.

I know that with my daughter sometimes a spanking is the only way to get her to listen. It is not a first resort but it comes to it she gets a spanking. I use time outs as well but they are not that effective with her. She get a few warnings before a spanking. I don't remember being spanked as a child but when I asked my parents about it they said by time I was old enough to remember they had moved on to other things because spanking did not work for me. If it did not work for my child I would do something else. But there does need to be punishment and consquences that is how we learn. Somewhere along the line it became that eveything would harm you child and if you told them no instead of explaining something to them you would damage them. All I have seen from this is children who do not listen or respect their parents. It is crazy that in so many households the children are making the rules not the parents. I will not support this and I will raise my child so she is polite and respectful. Those of us who were spanked but not abused are just fine and not scared for life.

try to talk to your child...or if you spank her try to explain to her the reason why you did that in order for a child to understand that what she was doing is wrong...some kids intentionally make some trouble so that their parents will give them much attention.