Do you think that one side can be more giving than the other ?

I am sorry Voldi, but for the life of me i could not understand one word you are talking about. But, too tell you how i work in a relationship. I try to make it give and take equally on both sides. I think of him almost every second of the day. I don't give more than i can handle myself. That would be a waste. Hope that made sense. TATA.

I can just say - it is not a kind of balance. At times you would be giving more, at times your partner would be giving more. But if you do feel something unjust is happening then a nice talk with the partner could sort of give you some idea about why it is happening. Perhaps your partner didnt realize that they were taking you for granted may be? You all could work a solution from there - instead of stomping feet. If, however, the partner is adamant - refuses to understand your needs - is obssessed with her needs, then it is time for you to review your relationship and your expectations from it. Face the fact that it wont improve from there, and can you accept it in that form. If you cant walk out as things would only brew up in your mind. You will anyway have a second or third rate relationship. So why put up with it? Move out then and look for a more understanding partner.

hi voldroz I know nothing about these so called re lationships that are so open either one can walk out in a huff over the slightest thing. In a marriage each person ideally gives half and half but in real life at times you may have to give sixty to the others forty as any number of things can go wrong for one person. say that and this happened my husband found he had cancer of the colon and had a very severe surgery taking out a lot more than they ordinarly would as it was in the rectum. He had to have a colostomy. Okay so now He was not able to really give me fifty percent which I understand throughly so it was for a long time more like sixty fourty or seventy thirty and I did not care, He was alive, he was my love, he was in pain, and I would do everything I could to help him get back to a normal life. Sometimes when you are very ill you just c annot be as giving as the other person and surely that is alright and can be sent as okay.

It's impossible to have a completely even relationship. People naturally have more or less innate ability to give. However, it should not be a one-way relationship. If one is only taking, and one is only giving, then that isn't a relationship. It should be mutually beneficial. Finding the middle group, so that neither is taking advantage of the other, is the hard part.

It happens sometimes in a relationship. It's hard to maintain a balance sometimes especially if we're both busy with work and taking care of the kids. We neglect paying attention to each other, and sometimes one of us gives more to the relationship than the other. But we do make it a point to give extra effort to making our relationship work, because we love each other too much to let anything come between.

I have never heard that in relationships we need a balance...in give and take.. trust is most important.. if there is trust then there is no confusion.. thanks for sharing... have a great day/night.....

I think that in a relationship one side can certainly be more giving than the other, but I think that more often than not, both sides try to be as giving as they can.

I think it happens a lot in relationships but eventually such relationships will end. The person who is the giver will eventually get tired of giving all the time with nothing in return. There has to be an equal distribution of give and take in relationships for them to work. You need to balance each other out, like for instance maybe one person always pays when you go out, but the other one will do the cooking when you stay in. Balance is the key to a successful relationship. If there is no balance then eventually someone will become resentful.

I think so! I think its normal in a relationship that one is more giving than the other. I think its suppose to be a give and take relationship but there are some who just give and give and others just take and take.

hello voldrox! a perfectly balanced relationship should have both sides giving to each other in such a way that no one is receiving less or much more than what they are expecting or wanting. I am saying this because there are people in a relationship, whose happiness lies in giving much more than what their partner is giving or can ever hope to give. Now, that would not be a problem if the person on the receiving end has no qualms about it and if the giver is not doing it in the hope that something equivalent to it will be returned back to him. HOwever, in the case you have mentioned here, the one giving is feeling that what he/she is doing is much much more than what he/she should give or do or in short, in excess of what's normal. Yes, this can happen in a relationship where one party is either much more interested to keep the relationship, is insecure or else he's just normal just like anybody else but the other party is just not doing his share of the relationship. There are many angles to this you know, it depends on where we view it from. anyway, i have experienced this in one of my past relationships. it seems i was the one who's thinking of keeping the flame burning, thinking after his welfare more often and always going out my way to doing things for him. he cared for me, that much i know but i was simply overdoing my caring for him. Now i realized it stemmed from the fact that i was afraid of losing him, i was insecure with that relationship. you see, he was separated from his family and i was afraid that one day soon, he would leave and returned to them despite the love we shared. He was already separated when i met him by the way but it did not diminished my insecurity. We broke up by the way. ever since i realized that i cannot go on doing much more,expecting him to equate what i was doing and being discouraged that he never did. so, that's it..

I don't feel like I over give to him but I feel like I think about him way more than he does me, you know? I will always think about him and do things for him that go un-noticed and he doesn't really do anything for me. I feel like sometimes, why does no one ever think about me and my needs?

Go with your gut feeling, if you feel your overdoing it a little and putting more effort into the relationship than your partner, you probably are. Unfortunately, this is usually the time that relationships begin to slide off. Perhaps if you talk with you partner about this maybe he/she will realize and begin to meet you on equal ground. Hope this helps.

Relationship is about give and take. No body is perfect in this world. Sometimes, people just neglect the feelings of their partner. Important thing is, be open with your partner, discuss with him/her whatever concerns you and come out with a solution that will benefit both party.

..i believe i understand what you mean..i too felt the same thing sometimes...it's like, you feel that you are the only one working or giving your best for your relationship which should be give and take..but since i love my girlfriend, i understand the situation..although we sometimes talk about it and it turns out my girlfriend is planning on something for both of us, the only problem is that she don't know how or where to start..:)

You are right my friend, in relationships, some people give more than they receive. Of course when there is such an imbalance in the relationship, it tells you there is something wrong in that relationship already-the one who over-gives is trying to buy favors that would have never come without over giving. Love must be unconditional, and giving ought to be spontaneous-once you start over giving in return for so little, then you are trying to go against the nature of love itself, you are trying to buy some favor, yet we know love does not work like that.

I'm Vietnamese, my english is fairly, but I partly understand what you talking about. I guess you love your partner so much but you realized that she was too heartless to you, I think you should tell her about your feelings, if she really love you, she will try to make you happier as well as you did to her. Good luck! ps: sorry if I made the mistake of expression that you can't understand, my english is not good :)