Why is it hard to be friends with ex Lovers?
By deve_annrn
@deve_annrn (1856)
Philippines
August 25, 2010 10:55pm CST
I have noticed this in real scenarios.., My friends breaking up with their lovers and when they become exes.., It's hard for them to regain the friendship that they used to have.., It's even hard for them to paste a real smile on their lips whenever the met in hallways.., Is it because they are bitter? or they hated that person for making them feel that way? What do you think?
6 responses
@GemmaR (8517)
•
28 Aug 10
I think that people end a relationship for a reason. It is very rare for people to end a relationship as friends, but when that does happen then the couple might remain friends.
However if they split up because of something that one of them did wrong, then of course it's going to be hard to be friends with them. Maybe in time you would be able to have a good friendship with them again, but scars take a good while to heal after a relationship.
@deve_annrn (1856)
• Philippines
29 Aug 10
if the two broke up because one of them committed a mistake and hurt the other.., then it would eventually take time to forgive.., and you can't be friends with someone you haven't forgiven yet.., =)
@LaadieGerald (138)
• Philippines
27 Aug 10
depends on how you two depart. if it's bad then don't expect much reconciliation. if it's good, then friends again scenario is not far off.
@deve_annrn (1856)
• Philippines
29 Aug 10
right.., so if you have relationships as of the moment that you are planning to end.., be sure to make a peaceful exit from that person's lives.. No hard feelings are necessary.., right?
@meemingNEW (2226)
• Philippines
26 Aug 10
I don't think its hard to be friends with an ex Lover if you both decided mutually when you broke up. But if the relationship ended on a bitter note, it is really hard to be friends with them after.
As of experience, when me and my boyfriend of 6 years broke up, there was that pain, anger and bitterness. I know it will gradually change over time and so as to how you treat your ex. Its been 2 years since we broke up and no matter how I tried to be friends with him, its just not the same, its not right and its better if we remain as strangers really. I also dated a guy for 6 months, we broke up mutually. We are good friends right now. It really depends on how a person reacts or responds to after a break-up. So it is hard.
@atish19 (180)
• Mauritius
26 Aug 10
It all depends why they break up.. if the guy is wrong or the girl.. personally i don't keep in touch with my ex lovers. It is really hard to keep friendship with them. As its hard to admit they have someone else in their life. It is better not to keep in touch so that they don't get clash with their new partner. For me ex means PAST.
@deve_annrn (1856)
• Philippines
26 Aug 10
absolutely.., what was in the past is all over and done.. so what's the use of going back.., especially if you are already committed with someone in the present.., It will just spell trouble..=)
@goldfngz (99)
• United States
26 Aug 10
I think it's hard because when you see an ex it reminds you of the pain from the past. Usually when relationships end somebody did something wrong, and nobody wants to associate or be around anyone who has caused them pain. In general, no one wants to be friends with anyone who has done them wrong, period. How could you be friends anyway? If you see your ex coming down the hall the first thing you think is "Oh no, not this ?!@$%^#@ again!!" How could you ever have a sincere conversation with them? You couldn't.
@deve_annrn (1856)
• Philippines
26 Aug 10
well.., maybe it depends on the reason of breakup.. there are some breakups which came from both parties..,where two people decide to end up a relationship which they beleive would not work and they prefer to remain friends after that.. that's the only scenario where I can picture the absence of bitterness.., But if hearts were broken and dreams were shattered due to a breakup.., There's no chance of redeeming any friendship at all.. You're right with not wanting to be friends with someone who have caused you pain..=)
@riddler1963 (15)
• United States
26 Aug 10
depending on what happen in your relationship . if it was another woman or man of its going to hard to face your partner. if its disagreements you need to talk it out.you always feel uncomfortble around your exes.its hard to see your exes with other people. come on grow up. thats life.you got to go on .if you cant be friends avoid eachother.life is to short.
@deve_annrn (1856)
• Philippines
29 Aug 10
exactly.., what you had been in the past cannot be revive after the breakup..,everything will no longer be the same if you used to be good friends..,but why waste time in thinking about the past when you got to give your whole attention to what's up ahead to avoid stumbling and committing the same mistakes..right?
