Does the bond become stronger when you face problems together?
By devijay78
@devijay78 (1573)
India
August 30, 2010 12:59am CST
A few days ago my husband was cheated of our savings by one of his close friend. He is still trying to recover the money. But one good thing which has come out of this is that we have become closer and our bond has become stronger. I guess he is a little insecure now and hurt and he needs someone to be there for him and say that it is ok without blaming him, which is exactly what I am doing right now.
Our marriage has gone through a lot of problems in the beginning and it went to the point of breaking. But by god's grace we have been spared of that. Now I feel that he has started respecting me for what I am and has started to discuss things freely with me. That is a big step for him. It made me realise that facing problems toghether is making us get closer to each other. I do not wish for more betrayls, but it is nice when the relationship improves, don't you think?
1 person likes this
13 responses
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
30 Aug 10
See this is where marriages fall in trouble, when we marry we say in sickness and in health. Well for some odd reason when there is an issue within the family husbands and wives actually grow apart.
It is an awful shame that couples cannot work things out as when undergoing an issue what better way than to work things out together, it would give so much comfort and not the feeling of being alone.
Congrats hon, I am glad that your marriage, which by the way is never any easy task to overcome, you have proven that you both married for the right reason to work together as one. Cheers!
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
31 Aug 10
Absolutely as so many face issues the complete wrong way. Bless your marriage and keep that communication open always! 
@devijay78 (1573)
• India
31 Aug 10
I like your avatar:-) Ours is an arranged marriage as it is the way it happens in my country. So it took some years for us to get used to it as well as each other. What you say is correct. Arranged or not, marriages are to stay married in sickness and health, but how many do that nowadays?
Facing issues together is what makes the bond stronger. Thanks.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
31 Aug 10
Yes, definitely so. The fact that both of you are together instead of being almost over the abyss, shows that even if your husband was not responsive, at least in his heart, he too was committed somewhere in keeping the marriage. Now that you both have been thru rough times, his appreciation of you, as a partner, has grown immensely by your mature handling of the present situation. I feel rough times really test our commitment to our partners and we really feel like opening up and sharing more…it’s a wonderful feeling and at least some good has come of the present fiasco LOL…I seriously wish your husband recovers quickly, both his money and his confidence.
@devijay78 (1573)
• India
31 Aug 10
He is a survivor and bounced back the very next day. But I know that such a huge loss will be difficult to set right or recover. even I felt the same that when we had problems, he too wanted the marriage to work. I am glad that both of us stayed married to each other. Nothing matters now than taking it forward. Thanks.
@wahmivy (776)
• Philippines
30 Aug 10
I guess strength comes from the right attitude and you and your husband seem to have that. If you choose to endure hardships together, then your bond is fortified. Episodes like this in your relationship are tests. It is a question of commitment because the weak will probably choose to quit, the unwise will not realize that it causes wounds that need to be tended to...
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
31 Aug 10
I think it will definitely make the relationship stronger. It should be both the husband and wife working for the relationship. Its a give and take relationship between them. I think that's what marriage is for and better not get married at all if you are not ready to face all the challenges.
@bloemart (222)
• Philippines
30 Aug 10
Yes, because through facing problems our relationship with our family becomes stronger. It is because of the trust and effort you give each other. Another thing is that we feel that inside our heart we have some gratitude to pay with those people around us during our hard days. We want to pay it back by being good with them.
@devijay78 (1573)
• India
31 Aug 10
We do remember those who are with us when we are going through hard times. And I bet, no one forgets those who leave us in such a bad phase of our lives. I know that he is relieved that I am there for him to share his problems. Sometimes all I do is listen. And that takes a load off his heart.
@devijay78 (1573)
• India
31 Aug 10
I guess loosing such a big amount is not something which we can forget that easily. We are still trying to get atleast some of it back but no luck till now. All I can do is hope and pray. Thanks a lot.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
30 Aug 10
I think yes, that is true.. diamonds have to go through a lot of hardships too before they are made beautiful... a dress has to be sewn and/or woven so that it would be as lovely too. I guess that is what relationships are. you both have to struggle, together not agains each other for you both to realize that after all the times, the hardships, there are better things waiting for you... like retirement... like things you could achieve together, as a couple and when you look back on this, and look forward to your life... you'll see everything is just fine!
@devijay78 (1573)
• India
31 Aug 10
Yes, that is the beauty of life isn't it? I am looking forward to our days together. He is out of station right now. And thanks.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
30 Aug 10
I do believe that a bond does become stronger when relationship problems are faced together. There is strength in unity. As long as you can face your problems together, you can overcome anything. A bond can't be broken when it is strong enough.@devijay78 (1573)
• India
31 Aug 10
I like the way you told it. That there is strength in unity. I am a firm believer of that. What you say is true. A relationship where there is love and trust is strong and it is hard to break. Thanks.
@obe212003 (2299)
• Philippines
30 Aug 10
Good for both of you..opening up and being honest is a big step for every couple who are having an unstable relationship. Respect as always is the most important key factor and to gain such is well rewarded with wisdom and understanding. Keep it up, just remember you and your husband are "one" and when that is achieved everything seems to be lighter, i.e. facing problems..happy my lotting my dear friend..
@devijay78 (1573)
• India
30 Aug 10
Day by day, the relationship seems to be getting better. Sometimes we go back to bickering but that is very rare nowadays. very very rare in fact. thanks:-)
@raviteja_ravi84 (2620)
• India
30 Aug 10
Wow seems you managed to find something good in something bad!
I am sorry about your close friend cheating your husband. But if you have learned from that mistake then it's called an experience and not a mistake anymore. If you and your husband have grown closer with this experience then you could all gain a lot more. This situation has brought you together.
I appreciate your husband's step towards you and i am sure he would be always like that in the future also!
Cheers!
@devijay78 (1573)
• India
30 Aug 10
Thanks raviteja. I too hope he would always stay that way. You have a nice day too.
@deve_annrn (1856)
• Philippines
30 Aug 10
I guess it does becomes stronger as time passes by especially if you've faced hardships and trials together.., hand in hand.. and not a single moment leaving the other to face any downfalls.., the relationship will eventually be more mature and stable.., and with this kind of relationship tested through time.., it will be harder to break..=)
@devijay78 (1573)
• India
30 Aug 10
I don't worry about it breaking now as I used to before. I guess both needed time to undertand each other and I found this understanding after four years of marriage. We are in our fifth year and life is pretty ok for us. Thanks for your response.
