Where is the money?
By jonnifc
@jonnifc (1017)
Philippines
August 31, 2010 3:57am CST
I have a friend who works abroad. His wife and kids are left behind here in our home country. Now, my friend doesn't have a high-paying job. His pay grade is not enough to support a dependent so he can't get his family to stay with him there. His salary is just enough to make ends meet a little for savings. He sends enough money to his wife to sustain them. But the wife is so bad at handling the finances. He's on a vacation now back home and he asks his wife where does most of the money that he sends go? She's owes a lot of money to their neighbors, there are no improvements with their house and their possessions and the kids seem to be not eating well. A week before he arrived, he sent money enough for 2 weeks. When he got home, the food supply is only for 2 more days and the money is almost gone. He asks her where she spent the money. She can't answer. What we think happens is that she gives some money to her parents since they're not working. Her parents have better appliances at home than his wife and kids. What makes me mad is that the kids are suffering. And it's no joke to work in another country. People seem to think that if you work abroad, you have lots of money. Little do they know that some of those who work abroad are suffering too just so that they can send some money home. This has been going on for a few years now. What would you say to him? What would you suggest he does to make it right for his kids?
2 responses
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
31 Aug 10
You story quite upsets me that this poor man is sacrificing his family time with his children to seek and try and create a better life.
Clearly I would say it is time she had to go, but apparently he has tolerated this behavior for a few years and well it did not sound like there was any improvements.
First I would suggest to your friend that he have a serious discussion with his wife. She clearly does not value her husband and children. How the heck can she assure her parents have wonderful appliances and not make sure her children eat first. Appliances we can live without. Has you said she was buying food for her parents I sort of would have understood to a certain extent. Clearly her parents also do not care about their grandchildren either. Your friend needs to unfortunately assign perhaps a sister, or his parents to take control of his household while he is away, as apparently his wife cannot handle the household.
How dare she not care about her children and her husband first and foremost. If your friend has a trusting relative he should have an arrangement and try really hard to have constant communication while away to assure the family member is handling everything to a tee. If he doesn't have a trusting family member, I am afraid he is better coming back home and living off yet even smaller earnings. Not only is he missing out on his children's growth but not taking care them as well. He knows his wife is frivolous with the money and yet continues to allow it therefore he is not benefiting his home one bit.
Sorry to blunt but if all else fails he either continues as is, makes the above changes or simply let go. Letting go means he now abandons his kids and well none of this is their fault. I blame him friend as he keeps continuing to allow it.
@jonnifc (1017)
• Philippines
1 Sep 10
Their story is quite upsetting. That's what I suggested to him. His can ask his sister, who's quite sensible and wise, to control the money he gives for his family. Like she can buy the groceries for his family already so that the wife will not be the one to spend it, or pay for their utilities and give the allowance directly to the kids. At least there will be some sort of control on the money. I think he will have a talk with his wife. But I got a feeling from the way he tells his story that he's considering separating from his wife. I just don't know what he will do with his kids but for sure he will not abandon them. He says he has thought about leaving his job and just returning here. But he still has a contract to honor. He doesn't want to tarnish his record so that he can still go back there just in case. I think he has totally lost all trust for his wife. I don't know how their marriage will survive without it. Thanks for your response!
@vndesai4u (2)
• India
31 Aug 10
Now a days all the person things that going to abroad and earn lots of money to do some good things. And every person is not capable to invite all the member of the family. So the every person has to have trust on each other.
