Am I THAT jealous?
By cryw0lf
@cryw0lf (1302)
United Kingdom
August 31, 2010 6:03pm CST
Okay so, I've been with my boyfriend for 15 months now- and one of my best friends has been with his girlfriend for around 6-7.
I have several issues with their relationship for a start...
One being that he moved away from 'hometown' to be with her, giving up his Education and friends along with anything else that is sat back there for him. The second being that neither of them have a penny between them- nor a job yet they plan on moving intogether and out of her parents. They were engaged after 3 months of their relationship, even though because of the distance they had only seen each other 5 times. They also thought that she was pregnant and were 'really excited about it' at the time, which thankfully she wasn't!
I must sound super jealous, but to be honest I am... Not because of anything they do or have, but the fact their relationship seems stronger then mine, and the fact that even though I work harder, soon enough they'll have more then me and my partner as he has stupidly massive debts to pay off.
How do I stop my green envy as it's really winding me up!?
I feel like she's changed my friend (I should probably note he stopped talking to me for 3 months after an argument that she spurred up by not allowing him to go out with me on my birthday).
Argh! Just need to vent to be honest.
1 person likes this
9 responses
@magojordan (3252)
• Philippines
1 Sep 10
I think it's okay to be jealous with other people's relationships. However don't let this bring you down, rather make it as your inspiration to make yours better. Draw the inspiration from them on how they are able to make their relationship stronger. Remember the good points in it and apply it in your relationship. Also talk to your partner about it but don't compare your friend's relationship with yours. Just be honest with him and tell him that you are in this together to make it better.
@abish1987 (188)
• Philippines
1 Sep 10
I strongly agree with you magojordan,remember that every relationship is peculiar. You shouldn't compare your love life with others since you do have different stories.And also love never envy,I could say that because I haven't felt jealous since I didn't try getting into serious relationships at all.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
1 Sep 10
Sometimes relationships viewed from the outside seem to be hunky dory when in actuality they really aren't. I see your valid points but really he gave up his education to be with her, how noble though.
But do you really think that after a couple years he not resent this decision and perhaps this will weaken the relationship. Truly hope it doesn't.
It appears to you that only after 6 -7 months they are very happy. Well think for a minute it still so fresh and how long after before it no longer feels fresh. Just my thoughts.
@cryw0lf (1302)
• United Kingdom
2 Sep 10
I do agree with you somewhat, but in the other sense, no, i don't think he'd resent the decision come a couple of years.
I know its fresh and everything seems fine when its like that, but i seriously couldn't see these two ever splitting up- not that i'd wish that on them, it just means she's left to control him for however long they stay together. (Which'll most likely be the rest of their lives....)
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
1 Sep 10
Hi Crywolf,
Sorry to hear that your friendship with this guy has drifted apart. It sounds as if he got just really deeply involved with this girl really fast...too fast. Relationships like that are not always what they may appear to be. Once the rent is due and they have no money or if she ends up pregnant and reality and pressure sets in, things may not seem so fairy-tale beautiful. You don't think these two could easily end up with a mountain of debt and stress? From where I sit, it looks like that is straight where they are headed and very rapidly. Don't be jealous. Just work to make your own relationship stronger....it already sounds as if it is more stable than your friends.
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
4 Sep 10
are you sure you are not in love with your best friend? :( i guess maybe you are thats why you are so sad to see him going away with a girl that he doesnt even know well for what you say and that even didnt let him spend your birthday with him. i guess you miss him and maybe just now you realise, now that he is not talking with you, that you love him. you even say your bf has a lot of debts and you didnt say much about love your bf. i guess you love your best friend and didnt admit it yet to your heart. anyway dont let that girl stop you to be friends with him. before she appears you were best friends so she doesnt have the right to dont let him spend time with you. even if we are committed we have the right to have friends so :) dont lose him ok? it really sounds like you are too sad bcs he is away :) cheer up and call him ^^
@jhyan007 (467)
• Philippines
1 Sep 10
...hmmm..i don't know if you are jealous of your friend because he already have someone special or you are simply jealous because their relationship has reach a better climax than what you have..but either way, jealousy is pretty normal and inevitable...it would be best to focus more on your relationship with your boyfriend and work things out....in that way, you will forget your jealousy with your friend and later on, you will realize how your relationship will grow stronger, if everything turns out okay..
@rosielleanne (121)
• Philippines
1 Sep 10
Good relationships doesn't depend on time. But I don't mean that yours isn't good because I have no idea about it. On being jealous, just focus on your relationship with your boyfriend. Sometimes issues start because of what you're feeling right now so the best thing is to look at the positive aspects of what's happening to everyone.
@shearry18 (118)
• Davao, Philippines
1 Sep 10
We get jealous because we always look on what others have. I completely get your thoughts here because sometimes I get jealous too. But what I learned recently, everyone is different, every couple is different. We should be happy if others are happy with their relationship with their loved ones. On the other hand what we need to do for ourselves is to count what we have, love what we have,and do things that will make our own relationship with our loved ones burning like fire.
