Do you blame your spouse if your biological clock has run out of time?
By jodyangelann
@jodyangelann (39)
United States
September 1, 2010 7:21pm CST
I always wanted two children and thought I would never have any. I finally had one child and wanted another for several reasons. The first being that my spouse and I were older when we had our first and I didn't want our daughter to be alone when we were gone. He refused to let me have another and now I am in mid menopause and the dream is gone. I feel very angry with my spouse and our relationship is quickly going to hell. Am I wrong for feeling resentful towards him?
2 people like this
3 responses
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
2 Sep 10
Hmm.. I don't have a spouse but I did blame my ex about me probably not going to have children because he was not ready to have kids or to commit to me the way I wanted him to.
But I don't think it's any of our fault though, if you can't have another, then you can't have them. But who's to say that you couldn't have anymore in the future? My mom had my youngest brother when he was already in her 40's.
@jodyangelann (39)
• United States
2 Sep 10
I have already stopped having cycles each month. Its been almost a year since I had one so I doubt I can have one now and I am pissed! I never expected to start menopause so young.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
3 Sep 10
Oh, you're really in the midst of menopause then, but still are you sure it's menopause? perhaps there's something you could do about it, try to consult your doctor though. There are times in a woman's life when the menses lapse, but it doesn't mean it's time for menopause. Try to see what could be done.
Further, have you talked to your husband or partner about it? What was his response?
@pastigger (612)
• United States
2 Sep 10
I was not sure that we would ever have a child and now we have one and that is probably going to be enough for us. There are many helth risks for having another. I feel the same as I don't want her to be alone later but don't want to risk her being without a mother now either. I am not sure if the doctor could help you have another possible. I know that they put me on a dibetic medicine to get my cycles regular, I usually only have a cycle only once every 4 months. You feel how you feel you can't really change that. I am not sure all the reasonings there were behind the descision but you should probably let him know how you are feeling, or it will begin to eat away at you and your relationship. I would say let yourself be resentful for a bit and let it go, love your child and feel blessed you had one, some people can not even have that. It is hard but sometimes your plan for life changes for many different reasons but you have to learn to move on and not let it destroy what you do have. I feel very lucky every day to have my little girl and at times I really long for her to have a sibling but it is a really hard descision to make. As for being alone siblings do not guarentee that you are not alone hope that your child can find a spouse that they can grow old with and enjoy life. I hope that you can begin to heal soon and have a lot of joy and not alot of resentment in your life.
@jodyangelann (39)
• United States
2 Sep 10
Thank you for your thoughts. I have spoken to him and even told him I am feeling resentful. He doesn't care and that hurts a bit, but I am blessed to have my baby girl and I am thankful. I wish you well.
@Professor2010 (20162)
• India
4 Sep 10
Hello jody
I think you should not blame any body, well you can adopt one baby, that would be wonderful, the clock can't be reversed..
Godbless friend
Thanks for sharing.
Welcome to mylot. 
Cheers. 
Professor
Cheers.
Professor
