Pulling my Hair Out
By phisha84
@phisha84 (286)
United States
September 2, 2010 2:13pm CST
I'm a single mother of two beautiful little angels. Both of my kids are in school now. One is in first grade and the other pre-school. My oldest is very stubborn about going to school now. I mean crying her eyes out and saying every possible thing she can thing of to get me to keep her home. Her ears hurt, her throat hurts, she feels sick, you name it she's said it. It all started last year when her kidergarten teacher slapped her arm. She slapped my daughters arm hard enough that it left a swollen red mark! I was furious, I was willing to press charges of child abuse and take my daughter out of her class, unforutenatley I was nice enough to not press charges(this time), since my daughter only had two weeks of school left, and she stayed in the class. But I reassured her everyday that her teacher would not ever do that to her again. School finished up and summer was great. Then school started back up. My daughter was super excited about her new teacher and seeing her friends but now she's back to screaming and crying. I have sat down with her and have asked her why she was crying and like I said in the beginning she just makes excuses up and she's even gone as far as saying I can't leave you mommy!
Today the school bus driver had a talk with me about her crying, and asked me if I wanteds to conitue with her riding the bus. I told him as long as he was ok with putting up with the crying and if not that I'd be more than happy with driving her to school myself, but he said he was okay with it. I wanted to have a talk with her teacher today too. So I tried beating her to her class so she wouldn't see me. When she gets to school from the bus she goes to breakfast and then 20 mins later she heads to her classroom, I figured that'd give me plenty of time to talk to her teacher and be gone before she got to class. So I pull up to the school and as I am walking to the door, one of the teachers stops me and askes me if I'm ( )'s mom and I say yes I am. She tells me that she's the school counsilor and she's been talking with my daughter and trying to help calm her down and she wanted me to know that my daughter told her that her dad left and hasn't came back yet and that she was worried about me, that she didn't wanna leave her mommy at home by herself! OMG! I kind of laughed because my boyfriend left for Chicago for personal reasons and will be back home soon when he's done there...it's no big deal....I'm not upset about it or anything. I'm actually enjoying my alone time with my girls. But according to the counsilor my daughter cries for hours and distracts the class and refuses to do her work, which is nothing that I dont know of already. Then she tells me its ok for me to go see my daughters teacher. I get to the classroom and I kind of poke my head in to make sure my daughter isn't there yet and I don't see her anywhere so I go ahead and go in the class and BAM there she is, in the corner crying and now that she see's me is crying more louder and more histerically! CRAP! So I'm hugging my little girl and trying to calm her down put she just keeps yelling I wanna go home, I wanna go home. Her teacher tells me how this is an everyday thing and pretty much the same thing the counsilor told me.....so as I was leaving my daughter refused to let go of me, and I felt aweful for making her cry more, but even more for her teacher cause she's the one that has to put up with it.
I just don't know what to do with this girl. I reassure her everyday, several times a day, I even tell her if she acts like a big girl she'll get a reward but that doesn't work, UGH! Suggestions SOMEONE PLEASE!
1 person likes this
3 responses
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
2 Sep 10
How long has she been back to school?
I like the idea of rewarding your daughter, but how about making her a part of the process, ie let her choose the reward. Also, let her know her daddy IS coming back, and then spend a lot of one on one time with her after school until he does come back.
heartbreaking...
@niairen01 (1018)
• Philippines
2 Sep 10
awww... =( thanks really heartbreaking. I have a son but he is only 3 yrs old and not going to school yet. But as a mom I can understand you. I wonder what's your daughters problem?
anyway, I've also got a younger brother and somewhat the same situation as yours. He was always enthusiastic about going to school and then one day, he didn't want to go. he was about 9 years old that time. My mom got curious and went to school to check out whats the problem. His teacher (adviser) told her that she have noticed sudden changes also. my Brother is a naughty but kind boy (you know what I mean?) he's active and always on the move and not afraid to try things but he knows his limitations. But then suddenly became silent and just sitting at his desk. HIs adviser assured my mom to investigate on things now that he isn't going to school for about 2 weeks.
ok, to make my story short. The adviser found out that one of my brothers teacher humiliate him in front of the class and as a result of this his classmate is now making fun of him. My mom got mad and reported it to the principal. It was a very fast process. the principal talk to my brother, the adviser talked to my brother... principal had a meeting with the teachers, adviser talked to the class..etc. as a result.. it all went well.
you know, if you think there's no problem inside your house then it would be at the school. with friends whose bullying your child, teacher who humiliate kids in front of the class.. there's so many factors. I think you should also try to do an investigation too. This is a very huge problem because your child's education is at risk.
try to talk to her during the night, when she is all calmed down. tell her that you love her very, very much and your hurt seeing her that way. I think she is old enough to understand. talk to her in a matured way and not like talking to a child. Point out that she needed education no matter what and it's very important. assure her that you'll help her no matter what the problem is.
if this still doesn't work.. Guess, it's homeschool for her. good luck to you. ^.^
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
2 Sep 10
She is at such an impressionable age. She apparently is afraid of something and that something is going back to school after a long summer break.
I am sure this is very hard for you as going home thinking over and over how sad she is all day.
For the rest of evening I would probably suggest that you expressed to her how so busy you have been so she doesn't continue to feel like you are so alone at home. As soon as you can let her know that you were so very busy and could not wait until she came home. Explain to her that you were so busy planning the evening so when she came home there something to do together.
I am sure she will break out of this, but until she does it is quite concerning to you, not to mention her little heart that for some reason she keeps thinking that you are alone. Make it a point to as soon as she comes home you express to her that her being gone at school all day is more the reason to be excited to come home. Then go ahead and reward for her courage day at school by saying to her Mom and () are both so courages as we are both big girls and facing the day and make it seem like it is a congratulatory moment.
This may not work right away but keep reminding her it is so good to have you home hooray. Otherwise not trying to face this will lead to bigger separation anxieties as this is what is sounds to me.
Good luck with your little one 
