Tell him....

Saphy.:) I wish I can do that. But you've been missing a lot of my discussions, dear. That, isn't going to work... He'll be out early here today and I'm not even sure if he'll be back early later tonight. :(

This has to stop sweetie. You cannot go on like this.

For the love of my kids, dear, I can and I will...

And what would that be, Knight? He is the type of a guy who doesn't appreciate simple things unless they are expensive....He is a bit on the materialistic side. I made him his fave dessert but I don't think he will appreciate it. I did not go out (wasn't able to get out the whole week) to get anything for him, either. And for sure, he isn't expecting anything from me.I'll just be spending his own money so, what is the difference? I am his wife and I am suppose to be in love with him and this thing should come out naturally but here I am treating this as if my whole life depended on it.... But I guess, giving him his freedom today will be best, huh?:)

Well, he's done for if that's what you're trying to tell me. that's too bad, I really don't know him so i wasn't sure if my advice was right.

Ey, dear. If things didn't go wrong between us, your advise would have been a great one.:) Guess what, until now he is out there somewhere. So, I don't have to think of meeting him later tonight. As I am pretty sure that by the time he gets home, feet still at doorsteps but his fingers are already groping for the keyboards.

Oh.... what can I say? I hope you are not dwelling to the pain your husband had caused you, dear. God is so good to us because He never let us suffer this kind of pain alone. Come to think of it, we have kids to rely on for strength and love our husband can not give us. I will always love my husband because of our kids. Though it is difficult to think what if i want him out or not in my life,I'd rather not try to evaluate my feelings. I know my kids need him. I will not be selfish to them.... I did not prepare breakfast for him . I hardly noticed he was already up but I did tell him that there's a food a made the other night for him to have as breakfast.Not much ceremony, though, I just said happy birthday, hon and went back to sleep again.It was no big deal for him. At least, i have extended my well wishing.:) God bless you and your kids, Beutfulmama.:)

Yup. Silly of me... What is the big deal, anyway. Why am I making this thing too complicated for me... Jesus.... You made sense, BlueAngelRS.:)

I do understand completely! You did what you had too do. I hope you had a great day as well. Good luck with everything.

Thanks, Amybrezik.:) I did have a great time with my kids. Too bad he isn't enjoying his big day with his kids but according to him, he has to work. He left too early (they were still sleeping ) and by the time he gets home they are already asleep... But, I believe it doesn't really matter to him because even if he 's home he'd rather face the computer than spend a little time with his kids. So what's new? God bless you.:)

A month without speaking to each other must be hell for you, dear... Why things should end up like this? Why can't we just sacrifice a little to make the relationship works...? This is so sad.... Before he left for work early this morning I greeted him happy birthday. There'll be no need of any card or what. He will not appreciate it. Not anything from me. I remember that he hardly took good care of the stuff that I gave him when we were still "in love" with each other. Why would he even bother to care now that we already drifted apart? But, I really meant well when I said happy birthday to him this morning. I hope he will have a blast.:)

Yes, .Katland, I have so much love to give indeed... but that love isn't what he needs. Not from me...He said he was weak, I understand that but he dwell on it for such a long time and some other stuff too, that I can no longer feel the strength to love him the way I wanted to and used to.There's just no way to go but stop... ah, he loves his kids so much that even if it is so hard to be living with me, he'd endure that for their sake. But, he once told me that once they're grown, I can leave...I've to live with that. Also, hope and pray that my kids will remember how much I love them and will find me.:( At this point, he doesn't care what I feel, what I think and what I want to say. He had stopped caring years back. One day, my king will come and savor all the love I can give. One day, dear, someone will love me for who I am and what I am. LOL

eurakafemme, hi!! I don't know how you can live like this, even for the kids sake. But when the kids are growing up they will feel the tension between the two of you, it's better to live apart & be happy even if it's with another partner then both of you being miserable living together now.. Do you have any break one day out of the week for you to go out by yourself or with friends, without the kids as a free time? I hope you do have that free day to pamper yourself to unwind... I cannot imagine what your going through, but hang in there, you're a very strong woman. I'll add you in for my daily prayer & wish you find that courage to make your life happier as well as for your kids because we only live one life & we don't know when our life will end tomorrow.. Don't get me wrong, I know the man loves his kids, but your the wife that gave him those kids & I wish one day soon he will wake up & treat you better than what he's doing know.. My husband always has this saying, women should be put on a pedestal and be respected because without us giving birth to their kids the men would have no way of having their kids... He also gets mad when he sees other children raising their voices at their mothers or arguing with their mothers, scolds them to give more respect to their mothers because they brought them out to see the world... God Bless You & I pray your life goes the way u want to in the future...

I'm not sure who's not showing love and not returning love back anymore. As per his word, he said he was trying to reach out to me but I on the other hand, was pushing him on the other side of the room. But, the way I feel it, he was the one who was pushing me away...and often neglected me... because if he is making me feel I am worth his time, I'd rather be with him than with my virtual friends... too bad, I have an adult companion but still, there's just no one to talk to... By the way, I was able to say "happy birthday, hon" before he left..

I think I did smile when I greet him this morning. He went out early for work and before he finally step out of the room , I said happy birthday, hon. I think I was smiling while saying it.:) We are in a friendly situation right now. I just hope we will continue being like this if not as husband and wife... :) God bless you, too.:)

But yes, of course, how can I not love the father of my kids, Contactsmiley? I will always care about him because whatever he does with his life, it will always reflect on his daughters' lives, too. What he likes, maybe , freedom.:) by the way, I did say happy birthday to im before he left for work.

Say it normally... Yes, that, maybe will work...I'll probably be greeting him when he wakes up because he'll be out at 5 a.m today and it is almost 3 a.m here now.

I used to write letters, emails to him but I don't think he was reading them... So, it is just a waste of time if I will write him a letter again. Besides what I feel and think doesn't matter to him. So, posting here is good enough for me. I voiced out that I am wishing him the best, still. This is perhaps more of a reminder to myself that once in our lives, we thought and believed that we love each other and nothing can come across between us and that love. I love the feeling it had once made me feel. Something I feel grateful to him, too.:)

He had to leave early and there's nowhere for me to go but stay here to take care of kids and all. Plus, I'd not going to have second thoughts of giving him a card or just a note if he is still the man that I used to love so much. Things changed, we changed and I grew up. I did greet him happy birthday before he left. :)