If I dislike newcomers then why do I bother trying to help them?

Hello Hatley, I don't know why some newcomers don't understand it. For some of the other reasons they feel offended? Just because you suggest them to go through the guidelines which they ought to have done as new comer themself. We read the guidelines when we joined this site and we used to seek help from senior more experienced members as well. Not that we think we are the boss of this place now. Anyways, let them learn on their own and they will know!

Hello there. I read some of the comments that your previous discussion received especially that comment implying that you dislike newcomers. You need not to explain yourself because the point of that discussion as from what I understand goes like "Is it that hard to read and follow the guidelines esp. for newcomers". Please correct me if I'm wrong. Please don't get too affected by those criticisms because no matter how newcomers(mostly) may disapprovingly react to that, fact is: that really happens almost everyday here in mylot . You are just trying to make a point and it helps. I hope you'll feel better.

Hi Hatley, It sounds like maybe someone was being overly sensitive or maybe they recognized themselves in your words and felt defensive. Either way, it was not a mean thing for you to say. It was truthful and actually if they were not busy being so negative then they would see it as the helpful advice that it is. When they don't read the guidelines they mess up and their discussions get deleted. They lose money and so does everyone who took the time to respond to them. If too many get deleted, people will tire of responding to them or they will get frustrated and quit. When I was new, I remember feeling totally awkward. I went back and read the guidelines a few times....still do every now and again. I remember seeing some discussions similar to yours back then and what it did was cause me to go back and re-read them and make sure I was doing things right. I never felt insulted or took it personal. Don't worry Hatley, we all know and love you here.

Because you have a big ♥... Don't let anyone get you down, you are doing just fine and if someone doesn't like it and makes derogatory remarks, well there is the - and ! signs you can use..

I think you are a good person and have a good heart. I wonder why new members don't read the guidelines. Some of the ones, I am sure, that say rude things to you and hurt your feelings are the new ones that feel they are doing all they need to. Some people don't care about others feelings, only their own.

well taken, my dear... with a grain of salt, of course... thanks...

I feel that people with that attitude will not be around long, Hatley. It is not that any of us dislike newcomers. We dislike whiners who think that MyLot hates them for deleting discussions. We dislike answering discussions that we KNOW will be deleted. We dislike being spammed for all these new opportunities and used, if they think they can get away with it. I do not try to help any more, at least not much. I responded to one and just put a very terse note that it was against guidelines. Then I reported it. Then the next person responded to the post and said "So this will be deleted." That is the last one I have done anything about.

You've written a lot of discussions on this subject, so I'm not sure which one you are talking about.

Hatley, some people are just insensitive boobs and should've been exposed during childhood to save us from their behavior - of course, that would've probably meant their parents should've been too...

I think that there are some that really do not wish to hear good advice, nor do they want to read it. I wouldn't get my feelings hurt, Hatley. If they do not wish to heed your warnings then I say let them learn things the hard way

Ms Hatley, i was taught by my parents to always respect my elders. now mylot is my family and i considered elders here are my parents. could i? i know, i need not to bother myself for the answer as BIG YES was already written here long time ago. not my time but since your name exist. but unfortunately, there are people in this world who do not feel the same way as we, who respect elders. don't worry now as i am your reall ally and i'll do all i can to protect you.

Hi Hatley, Here's a big {HUG} for you! Now, does that feel better? Some people do view everything negatively and when others try to help them, they do not see it as help, they might think they are being criticized and will go all out to attack back! I'm sure many of the senior members here have the same experience. So I think, do not let it get to you, you have many friends here who will support you and lend you a listening ear if you need one. Make yourself a cup of coffee and let the bad feelings slowly ebb away....

I wouldn't get too upset about the stuff that people say. You were just stating a fact that some new people don't read the terms and post things they aren't suppose to. I haven't been on here for that long but I didn't take it like you didn't like newcomers. People should follow the rules when posting and if they don't they shouldn't be allowed to post.

I am a newcomer , I want to read all guidelines but some I don't understand and I will not to complain anyone but my English is so poor . if I have made mistakes please forgive me , you work is very biggest ,best wish to you

You have already mentioned the important factor, which is that we were all newcomers at one time. I have seen a few comments at times alluding to long established members responding only to discussions of long standing members, which is equally absurd. It should not be so difficult for people to realise that many mew members produce poor discussions so that the senior members' discussions do much better. I have also seen good discussions from new members and do respond, as I am sure you do. Too often people react without fully digesting the situation, so they revert to the old defence of going on the offensive. This is obviously the case here whereby your advice has been considered an unfair criticism without considering the validity of your statement.

I also felt hurt early before when I got my discussions got deleted. I tried to read the rules and regulations and try to comply with the rules and discussions. I think it is always great to get the knowledge from the experienced myLotters. Most of the time I felt motivated when I see people doing more well in the discussions and had done in the past. I think there is no reason one should feel offended when someone helps to guide the other person.

Awww Hatley, don't feel hurt or bummed out, it's not worth your time or aggravation. You have too many people on your side to feel that way, and your discussion in NO WAY said you disliked newcomers. In fact, you said you were always helping them. But you know what, there is only so much you can do, and just because you mention to them to read the guidelines, does not in any way call for such ignorant comments. Anyone who has half a brain should read the guidelines to ANY website first, that's just plain common sense. Then you know what to do, what you can write about and what is not allowed. It gets tiring repeating the same response all the time to new people, especially if they don't want to help themselves. Trust me, don't worry about it, we all love you dearly and we're the one's with brains!

Hello my dear, Age has nothing to do with stupidity, and i am talking about the people that took offense of you trying to help them - you were only trying to teach the friend to fish for him to eat each day, rather then giving him some food now, for him to starve tomorrow :D I used a methaphore there, but one old that is always new and present in our lifes. Some things never change... Jack Daniels... o wait Just wanted to make you smile - i ment to say that some people never accept criticism, even if it is for their own interest, and prefer loosing topics and time here, and then go trolling about how mylot scammed them and all. Just relax dear, I hope you did so by now, and don't mind those people, just think of the others that appreciated the help.

A forum was the place to ask and answer. A forum was the place to give and get. A forum was the place to do a charity by helping others.While in here we not only doing charity, but also to make money. God will give reward to you, also mylot will reward you of course. So in a forum, don't talk about "did we like the people who asking the question". But more to "did we able to answer the question". You said that you are older, whether in real life or in here.I believe you have more knowing then others compare to your experiences. And I believe you know or you will understand when a post will get delete or not.If yes, don't bother yourself to deal with it if you just don't want to lost your earning. Or you told to them don't do that again in the future cause it will be delete by the admin and ask them to read the guidelines.With the risk you will lost your earning of course. But by doing that, you help them to become a pro.And help them to know that there is a rules in here that we should obey with it. Maybe Mylot won't appreciated it, but they will.If they not, God who will give it to us. Happy Mylotting.

i don't know anyone else on mylot who is as helpful as you hatley i wonder why they'd say that plus you're always responding to discussions left and right i just hope they realize that they were wrong to say that