Future In Laws Taking Over Wedding
By icyorchid
@icyorchid (2564)
United States
September 5, 2010 10:05pm CST
I am just wondering what your opinion is on someone who over does things and doesn't know when to stop!
My daughter's getting married Dec. 26th this year and her future in laws are helping pay for some things, we are helping to pay for somethings too. Problem is that I feel left out!
Ex:
The in law has already ordered the napkins, started making favors, bought the arch, runner and decor. Now she said that she & her husband were going to do the favors, food, drinks and dj. I have no problem with that, but she talked the napkins over with my daughter and my daughter told me she ordered them (they did however go with my idea of the napkins)
How would you feel?
My daughter said she wanted to buy the unity candle, MY IDEA! She asked if my daughter wanted her to get it for her shower gift, for one that's not a bridal gift, that's for the ceremony and 2, that's my idea, hands OFF!
So I told my daughter to tell her to take a chill pill, that I have not thought about a bridal shower gift (until today, but she has an account, so can't say) and she's not letting me buy anything for the wedding except my daughter's dress and the cake topper! Oh yea and splitting the limo price!
How would you feel if this was you? Am I right to feel like she's taking over MY DAUGHTER'S WEDDING? 
These things, the groom could care less about, you ask what he thinks, that's what he says, I don't care whatever you want! Does he want to wear a tux or a suit, I don't know, I don't care. lol See what I am putting up with here?
I can't tell the woman off for doing this stuff, but she's stealing some of what a mom dreams of when her daughter gets married away from me and I don't like it!
Any ideas on how to handle my feelings on this would be appreciated.
Thanks 
These things, the groom could care less about, you ask what he thinks, that's what he says, I don't care whatever you want! Does he want to wear a tux or a suit, I don't know, I don't care. lol See what I am putting up with here?
I can't tell the woman off for doing this stuff, but she's stealing some of what a mom dreams of when her daughter gets married away from me and I don't like it!
Any ideas on how to handle my feelings on this would be appreciated.
Thanks 1 response
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
6 Sep 10
I would just do the best you can and sit down and talk with her as she may not be realizing she is doing this....Tell her that you had dreams of doing such things for your daughters wedding and how you are feeling really left out just be honest hun let her know that you do appreciate everything she is doing but you wanna do things too...
@icyorchid (2564)
• United States
6 Sep 10
Well, thanks for the response but that won't help.
I don't talk to her like a friend thing, I only see her once in a while and when I find these things out, she's already purchased the stuff for whatever she wants to do. She has my #, is friends with me on facebook, but doesn't call, text, or message me for my opinion or anything. She's the type that when she gets going on things, she just goes ahead and takes over, without considering anyone.
My problem is when I find out she's bought stuff without contacting me or my daughter and is all excited about what she's bought, remember it's my daughter who is saying yes to her, because her son won't step up, it's always I don't care with him! My daughter feels obligated to go along with what she's purchased because she's already spent money on it. I on the other hand, wait to discuss stuff with my daughter because it's her wedding and it should be what she wants.
We are going to the hall on Friday. I really don't want to go, I only have like 2 questions, but I don't want to give her anything, because she isn't giving me anything, so I'm going to see what she's asking and put my 2 cents in on it. lol
