My boyfriend broke up with me today.
By romania2
@romania2 (237)
Philippines
September 6, 2010 9:42am CST
He said that he doesn't see us happy in the future. He thinks that way not because we're unhappy as a couple, but because we're "from two different worlds". We don't have any major problems with each other. We get along and we're very loving. Our friends support us and our parents approve of us being together. But he thinks that he can't make me happy if we ever get married.
Getting married to him means me leaving my country, my family... everything that I call "home". Getting married to him means adjusting to his culture, his family, and his living conditions. I was brought up in an upper-middle class family and he sees me as having every luxury in the world. He thinks he doesn't have enough money to support that kind of lifestyle, even though he knows I don't care about things like that.
We're both young (early 20s), so I had no idea he was thinking of all of this. I didn't even think he was thinking of marriage yet. The thing is, he does make me happy. And I see myself happy with him for a long time, regardless of where we live or what we have. If he had asked me to consider marriage, I know I would be willing to go through all that "sacrifice". He's worth it. I told him this. He doesn't want me to go through all that.
When he broke up with me, I couldn't say anything. I love him to bits but I think I have to respect his decision. I know some people will think that he might have someone else or that he's just making a whole lot of lies to break up with me. But I know the truth. He's a great guy and he loves me and he's doing all of this for my benefit. "I love you. You make me happy. But if we get married, I know I can't make you happy." What does that mean, anyway?
Do I just agree with him? Do I fight for him? I mean, is this it?
1 person likes this
12 responses
@Absinto (2385)
• Portugal
7 Sep 10
I am sorry about the break up. He is trying to do what is best for you. But if you dont care about these minor things that he is thinking he should accept it. You both love each other, yet he is trying do do the right thing in his mind, without considering other possibilities. Never know, you could live the life he thinks you guys cant.
This is how i fell about this situation.
@kate635 (126)
• Philippines
7 Sep 10
Hi romania2. I can very well relate for I was the same age bracket as yours when my boyfriend had a break-up with me stating that "he might die young and is afraid he might leave me alone." What a lame and stupid excuse! If we can give and do anything for them, why can't they do the same to us? There is something wrong with the equation.
What I can say to you is... give him what he wants. It would surely HURT A LOT but time heals, besides you're still young, so cheer up, there might be someone out there more deserving waiting for you. Your boyfriend is afraid of responsibility that comes along with marriage, and yes, when the honeymoon have passed away and you are already facing the reality of a married life, finances matters. If he is not ready for it better let him go....
@romania2 (237)
• Philippines
7 Sep 10
I understand what you're saying. Going through this, I feel that from time to time. Why can't he see that I am willing and able to do all of that? And I actually have given him "what he wants". I agreed with his decision, even though I don't want to. And I feel really dumb because marriage is something that I don't think about.
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
7 Sep 10
Hi,
Don't be sad over this issue,since he feel that this way is the
best for both of you,then you may have to accept his decision.
Although you know that he love you and he did that because he
want the best for you,respect his decision and give yourself a chance
to really think whether it is a good point for both of you to carry on
with the relationship since both of you have different family background.
What I can say is that this guy does not have confidence on himself and
he was thinking too far away.Both of you are still young and he can always
achieve his aim and make a successful career in future if he really has a
strong determination.
YOu can take this period of time as a relaxing moment for you and start your
new life.
@laniekins (4579)
• Philippines
7 Sep 10
I'm sorry for that bad news, I did exactly the same over my first boyfriend, but not because he can't make me happy or I can't make him happy. Its because I ask myself if I can spend the rest of my life with him. The answer is no, I also think about breaking up with him means will no longer see him anymore. I accept that fact, and so I did. It's because he's not doing anything to see me and to be with me so I conclude that he don't love me that much. He was 5 years younger than me, and 18 at the time. Still depends on his parents and her mom never let him go out that time cause her mom came from HK. It may be shallow reason but I don't regret it at all.
The better song for your bf is from Celine Dion - "I love you Goodbye", try to analyze the lyrics, there are people that we love but if we now we can't give the world to that person, we just give up while in love with him/her.
If your really love him, try to fight for him and talk about what's bugging his mind. A good conversation leads to peace of mind. I hope everything will works for you, I am wishing you a happy lovelife.
@romania2 (237)
• Philippines
8 Sep 10
It's really sad to hear about what happened between you and your first boyfriend. But it's nice to hear that you accepted it and you seem to have no regrets. It's really sad to break up with someone thinking "I don't want to spend the rest of my life with you".
I'll try to listen to that song you mentioned... but I really don't know what else to do about my situation. I really love him, but I feel like: if he doesn't want to fight for me, why should I?
@asxenon (1440)
• Malaysia
7 Sep 10
The final decision is still yours to make. Anyway, if you think that he is your dream guy and you should be together, then give yourself and him a chance. Both of you are still young and future is still long way to go. Nobody will know what happens in a future, but the important thing is to cherish what you got and work hard for the future. Your boyfriend might be poor today, but if he works hard and smart? Who knows maybe one day he might be a billionaire and you can have anything you would wish for in life. Having no money is only an excuse, maybe you can find out the reasons why he say these and do let him know your feelings towards him. Put money aside and deal with him from heart to heart. Good luck to you and wish you all the best no matter what your decision might be!
@romania2 (237)
• Philippines
7 Sep 10
This is a really positive way of looking at this situation... but I am a bit apprehensive about still trying to work it out with him. It just seems like he's resigned to the idea that he wouldn't be able to make me happy. I don't know what else I can say or do to make him feel otherwise.
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
7 Sep 10
That's a good opportunity for you! Think about it positively. If he broker up with you with those reasons then you have the opportunity to look for someone else who will make you feel and give you what you deserve. Dont fight for him. I definitely know you deserve someone better than that.
@jennyze (7028)
• Indonesia
6 Sep 10
You are still young, so don't get carried away with your feeling right now. You may find someone better in future who really loves you.
Your boyfriend is not confident with himself. When he is not confident he will make mistakes and hurt you in the end. So, if he wants to end it badly, you just have to accept the fact that his love for is not strong enough to defeat his insecurity.
@mlhervas (482)
• Philippines
7 Sep 10
Everything is not at the end when your relationship with your boyfriend ends. You still got your family, your friends and your work to keep you occupied and busy in your life. Your boyfriend is not everything in the world. If he really loves you then he will do everything in his strength to make you happy. You are still young. There are lots of opportunities still waiting for you. 
@fherfher (259)
• Philippines
7 Sep 10
Its really hard to speak when you just heard one side of the problem. But as a heartbroken like you, fyi, i just broke up with my bf last month. I advise you to move on, think positively. Bear in your mind that God has His better plan for you. HE maybe someone that you deserve. And you and your x is not really meant for each other. We are still young. Just enjoy being single and i know we will both find that we serve. GOd Bless
@jeffyryi (78)
• Philippines
7 Sep 10
well, you can give him space. At some point, he will realize that he cant just leave you for mere reasons, if he really loves you he will do everything to make you happy. maybe he has a plan for both of you, or achieving to be successful in his career and then come back for you, maybe. you can go on with your life too, you know you love him but never to be pinched by it. if you're really meant for each other then let it be.
