Is it ok to sleep with a friend?

Hi starlight, Sleeping with a friend is not bad. AFter reading this post and it put me into a more deep analysis of the situation. My point here is, you were friends since gradeschool, even not seeing each other often, still you're getting along so well. Maybe, offering him your place is not with malice or anything. Maybe being drunk also a factor but you said that you're just had it within the limit. The question is why is it have to happened? Did it happened with force? You questioned him why he did it, but have you questioned yourself, why you did become responsive? After what had happened, did you analyze yourself if there is anger? I read most of your replies to some responses here. But what made me think is, you're defensive about what he did, you keep on defending him that he seems did not take advantage of you, that's he's very gentle talking about it after. And on your part, you don't have the courage to confront him with anger, that is if you really did not expect him to do such. This is just what I think you need to clarify. Analyze your feelings. Isn't it that there might something different behind your friendship that is not discover yet? Is it really only friendship that goes between the two of you? You said that you drink with some other friends then but all left, while you two enjoy and having fun together and didn't notice the time. Is that enjoyment with with him or you is plain friendship? Why both of you doesn't want to discuss it the way it should be? If you didn't like it, the reaction must be anger and disappointment, the same with him must be apologetic and both of you must be avoiding each other for what had happened. But why is it seems like nothing happened and you both able to see each other having the same feeling as friends. We're you afraid to discuss it and caused your friendship to end, that you may not see each other again? Now, these are the things I seem should be clarified. Who knows, you might discover something behind it. Good luck.

I'm thinking he just got the urge to do it. Or he already loves you enough that you don't even know, maybe he has ahad a crush on you since you guys have been friends? Who Knows? Hope This Helped!

hi.... its okay if you let him sleep in the living room or just away from you... coz two opposite gender in one bed especially no relationship is a No No... coz you'll feel a "thing"... ... at least you and him are still friends... unless he avoids you... maybe someday... both of you will realize that you love each other... ^___^ think positive ^___^ take care

Well, if he does have a crush on you then he'll surely tell you. But to put his arms around you when you're asleep is not a very good sign. Plus the fact that you're a girl while he is a boy. It can't be lust. Perhaps you just needed a partner or someone by your side that's all.

for me,it's much better if you don't sleep with a friend.even if he is your friend,are you really sure he is not the kiss-and-tell type?plus, this may complicate an already comfortable relationship.some great friendships are ruined when they go a notch higher.some friendships are perfect the way it is,until they become lovers.not all good friends are good boyfriends/girlfriends.

Hi there.., Your friend was just being himself when He was with you that night..and I think it could be natural for a man to feel tempted sharing a bed with a woman all alone in the night.., You didn't refused so he took advantage.. If He is not showing any signs at all that he has something more for you other than lust.., then maybe.., just maybe.., it wasn't just a one night stand for the two of you..=)

First, how much had you had to drink? Secondly, was this something that you wanted? If not, then you were taken advantage of, and your friend is no friend at all if that's the case. You sound like you need to talk about it, and you obviously have some questions for him. If you are truly friends, you should be able to talk openly about it now. Best of luck.

well i just think maybe he loves you :) you said you know him way back since grade school^^ maybe he always loved you but you didnt notice^^ and maybe he didnt want talk about what happened with you with afraid that you would say something like dont feeling the same. so maybe he rather has you as friend than lose you^^ thats what i think^^ also maybe you also feel the same towards him^^ sometimes we dont know what we really feel till that person be with someone else or is about leaving to a far place^^ maybe you feel something and didnt see it yet :) or maybe you missed to be cared and he was there and happened^^ but for sure he is in love with you^^ i think you should talk with him and see what you both really feel^^

Maybe he has always felt something for you and he wasnt ready to show it at the time. With you inviting him to stay that just gave him the chance to act on his feelings.You mave have not had a crush on him, but there was something you were feeling for him, if not you would have stopped him.I'm glad you guys still remain friends. Some friendships end after they end up sleeping together.

Let's see. 1. he goes to your house out of the blue 2. then he tells you he has nowhere to sleep 3. then put his arms around you On one hand, one could assume he had something for you and went to your home, purposefully didn't find somewhere to stay with the full knowledge that you would give him somewhere to stay and then did his thing. On the other hand, maybe it's like you said, he was just a friend that wanted to see how you were because you got on well, he didn't think he'd bother finding a place until he needed it (like most people I guess), then gave into temptation because he was drunk. You would have given in I suppose because you were drunk or just because it's hard to resist once it's started. What happened *could* be considered rape if you didn't want it and aren't happy with it and it was against your will. But like you said, you are good friends, maybe it was just an accident because you were both drunk. Either he wanted to do this all along from the very beginning, he loves you or it was just a genuine accident. I suppose the only way you can really know is if you ask him and talk to him about it. Like goldeneagle said, it could also just be that he didn't *particularly* feel or not feel anything for you but took it the wrong way when you asked him to come back with you. Is there anything wrong with friends doing that? The truth is there is no rule or law saying whether or not that is right or wrong; it depends on the terms of your friendship and what you two believe in and how you two uniquely see doing that. One thing is for sure though, you can have done that once or twice and still have a good friendship for years and years. One thing I might add, drinking often brings out the truth and people's feelings because people don't hold back as much. Maybe this was merely an echo of temptation and lust, an echo of how good friends you are or an echo that one or both of you loves the other. For one it may have been lust while for the other it may have been friendship, on the other hand for one it could have been love and for the other it could have been just lust or friendship. Then it could also just be that you were both expressing your friendship and (friendly-type) love for eachother. You both had your own reasons for doing it even if they are hard to understand and interpret. Why did he do it, again you will just have to ask him. He'll need to think very hard about it if he doesn't know and figure it out.

there is a chinese old saying:you may know a person's face but not his mind. And i think you are not good at protect your self,you should know that sleep with a male was not safty,even he is your old friend.