What do you think is your parenting shortfall?

I think it all depends on who's judging. I would have to say I'm the opposite of you. I'm strict.. really strict. Most people think I'm too strict. However, this seems to work for us because my kids are relatively well behaved. They can get wild, hyper and crazy.. but when we're in public they're usually calm and in line and I get constant compliments on how well behaved they are (even when I think they're getting out of hand). Most people are amazed at their manners and the fact that you'll never hear my children whine or cry or ask for anything except if they're hungry or thirsty. They understand that no means no and they don't argue with me, and if I tell them to stop whatever they're doing they stop without question. My short coming when it comes to parenting is my stress level, which I can't really help considering I have 5 kids and an income that isn't enough to go around. Some days are better than others.. but when I'm stressed I don't handle things as well as usual.

on my part, there was a time i became to strict with my daughter. probably because i was scared she'll get married early or conceive early. we had a lot of tough times but she was able to prove that she'll do it. she graduated with honors in college. thank God.

yes...parenting is quite difficult sometimes...specially like when in the position like you...if you be a good mom always...playing and laughing with them..then it is difficult to be strict...to bring sudden change is not easy..even if you are serious they are not...and many times your anger turns into laughter

Not spending enough time with them, maybe...

dear dora, i have not been able to fully appreciate the talent of my daughter. when she was younger, she loved joining contests and glee clubs and other things in school. but because i am a working mom and he boss was very trict about absences and leaves from office. there were a lot of times when she requested me to see her perform but i was not able to come due to work. i have missed a lot of those. that was my shortfall. i wish i could bring back the time. ann

My struggle is instilling confidence on my kids. As a parent, I feel that my measuring stick for success is on how I could make my kids responsible people who know what to do in certain situations. That they could stand on their own and decide right from wrong. Or be confident enough to chase after not my dreams, but their own. It's a bit of a hit or miss for me.

dorannmwin, For me, I have to admit that I do not get to be with my children as much as I would like to. I feel like I have missed out on quite a big part of their growing up and I suppose it happens with parents who needs to travel extensively in their work. Even though with the many technologies available today like video conferencing or video calls nothing beats the real life hands on experience. I am just thankful for my wife over the years as she tries so hard to bridge that gap by making every available moment to be together by bringing the family together when I have to be somewhere for an extended period of time. And when I am back home, she will try to orientate me and bridge me with the kids who has sometimes grew strange with me.

hi dorannmwin with me it was "mom you are not listening to me, quit fiddling with that check book and listen" and you know he was pretty near right, I was just half tuned in to him a nd still had my mind on my finances.So I did try to put aside whatever I was doing and really listen to him. I know a lot of us probably have done the same thing. We do not mean to but we often tune out when we should be proud our children are coming to us with a p roblem . I did try very hard to keep communications open between us. To listen to someone you really should be doing just that, as its in a way insulting to sort of put their needs on hold. just sit there and open your ears and really listen to your children.

It's really hard being a parent. When we were younger we looked at our parents and thought that they were too strict, didn't know anything, and we knew it all, but now with us facing parenting we look back and go, oh my why didn't i pay attention to what my parents said to me during these stages when I went threw them. I will never be perfect with parenting, nor life.. we all make mistakes and we have to learn from them and better ourselves with each mistake we make. My major down fall when it comes to my kids is that I give too much. My oldest, was going to be our only, (due to health reasons) so he was spoiled rotten. He got everything, and anything he wanted and desired from us, and especially me. When our second child come along 5 years later, it was a total shocker to us, and to him. Things changed and changed fast around here and I had to stop giving so much to him, and share my time with each of my children, and this disrupted how things used to go, so now it's a consitant battle for us all (mainly me) to be able to pull back and give both the kids the same things, with out it causing jealousy or hurt feelings between the kids. With him in school during the day, He feels I get to play all day with his little sister, as him and I used to do. But he doesn't realize that since there are two kids, there's two times the daily housework to get done, so when he comes home from school, he feels I should be able to just drop everything and give 100% to him, and it's hard not to do that because that's what I was so used to doing before his sister come along. It's been hard for the last couple of years but it's finally getting to the point where everything's liveable again, and I surely have learned from my mistakes of giving him way too much!

I give in too easily. Not when it comes to discipline...I am firm when it comes to that. But when the kids want things, i.e. video games, clothes, etc, I give in way too much. Even when they don't need it, if we can, I buy it for them. It drives my husband crazy when I do that, but for the most part my kids usually will do something to earn a little something extra and they are well behaved and overall good kids, so I don't mind giving them a few extras every now and again. But I need to teach them to earn the extras instead of just giving it to them.

Personally I prefer to think more about what I am good at, you know, develop your strengths and the weaknesses will improve, except there is no such things as weaknesses only undeveloped strengths. But, since you asked, I will tell you I think my biggest shortfall when it comes to the kids, is I resort to raising my voice to early. I hate how it makes me feel. Working on it though, should be okay in a year or two. Cheers.

there are this instances that i am not firm enough with my son.. specially, the hugging and the i love you mommy.. please .. please... please... is turned on, usually he gets away with it.. ^_^ and there is the contrast between my husband and i... when i said no... then he (son) runs to his dad, and the next thing i know he said yes... :(

My husband and I are on two different schedules right now, so we are not doing things the same way with our daughter. She is a creature of habit, and when that routine changes she melts down. She is young enough that she doesn't really get away with stuff.

I think one of my shortfalls is giving in to them. When they want something, if I say no at first and then they continue to beg, eventually I give in. If we have the money then I just get whatever it is they want. My children are older now, my shortfall has been letting them go when they leave the nest. But I am working on this.

that is so true. i made so many mistakes with mine. id let them get away with to much and my mom would say, you should get the bluff on them when they are small because later it doesnt work. and she was right because even now that they are grown they often take advantage of me and see it as their right instead of being grateful. i guess you are a mom loke i was, but one thing sure, they do love me a lot.

I had a very interfearring Mom so of course I made sure I didn't not interfear with my children's problems unless requested. This made them feel I didn't care or was not watching out for them through the parent's spy network. So of course my daughters swung back the other way and were overly involved in their children's lives. No happy medium there.

Ok, I think I am a bit too firm - especially with my oldest one. I know if I give her an inch, she'll take a mile . . . so I really have to be firm with her in order to get through to her at times. But admittedly I can go overboard on it . . . and I do have to remember that even though she's a "big girl" now, she is still only 5 years old. My parents were very strict with me - and I always told myself I would never be "that kind" of parent . . . but looks like I have a bit of that (and my father's temper) in me!