Does is take a lifetime to forget someone?
By gxnfly
@gxnfly (1147)
China
September 14, 2010 9:14pm CST
I just read some morning thoughts yesterday.It says It takes only a minute to get a crush on
someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a
lifetime to forget someone. That really suits me very well.I just don't why I just can't forget about my ex boyfriend.I dreamed about him again last night.I've had a dream about him lots of times and it's so vivid each time,I think it's bothering me right now.I even think what if we didn't broke up,what if I get back to him and end my current friendship?Oh,that's just crazy/It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it,I wish I could just come back,but life just can't get back,that's just life,you will learn from it,isn't it?
Sometimes I want to see him,and tell him about my confusions ,then move on .He is life an old friend to me althought we broke with each other.But you know,my current boyfriend just can't stand that,he gets the hump if I saw my ex.
3 people like this
21 responses
@Ramaditya (1227)
• Indonesia
15 Sep 10
I believe that we will never be able to forget things, unless we wipe our memory out, be crazy, or die. The only thing we can do is save it and place it deep inside our brain.
It's difficult to close and save our past memories. But believe me, that you will be able to do that if you find someone that suits you. Somebody that can bring happiness more than the previous one. At that time I am sure you can close and save your past memories, with tears or smile upon your lips.
I do understand your feelings. But, what was done is done. The most important thing is what lays ahead. So, bring another empty paper on your brain, and write down yet another life story!
@sinaj292 (602)
• India
21 Sep 10
some time one life time may not be enough to forget some relations .... am having such relations in my life..... i had a love earlier... she got married with some other person... but still i feel i can't forget her......
@barath007 (42)
• India
16 Sep 10
Certainly, there is no definite time limit. The best way to forget the past love is to fall in love with someone else. First love is the love we remember best because it is the first time that we feel emotionally attached to someone. We should look to the future rather than trap in the past.
First love is always the hardest to let go. I think its because you dont think you can love again, but you can. Just take time to get over it, there is no set time as its different for everyone. Dont really forget the past. Look on it as experience, yes it hurts but in time it will heal and when you find the right person you can move on again.
@lawofecho (15)
• United States
16 Sep 10
You don't get over somebody you once loved, you just get used to them not being around :(
@babygirl313 (11)
• United States
16 Sep 10
i know exactly how you feel i still think about the father of my two boys. it was not the best of relationships we fought then made up then fought again. everyone asked me why are you with him and all i could say was that there was just something there. i did try to break up with him at one time and i backed off because he showed tears i dont know if he was for real or not but it made me say aww even after being apart for five years i still think about him when he calls on the phone my heart starts beating a little faster i know i may never forget him because i have children by him
@etmahawanD (65)
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
having a relationship is not just easy.,i agree that when you have someone to love it is so difficult to forget.,other say that having a relationship is just a sport, but for me.,our heart is not a game nor ether a toy., that when you are tired playing you will just give it to the others., so when you love, you can't really forget it., specially when you have a sinful past.,=
@angelface23 (2494)
• United States
15 Sep 10
I am in the same boat. I broke up with my ex going on 6 years ago and I am still not over him. He was my first love so i suppose I never will get over him. I have dreams about him now and then especially during both my pregnancies. It was the worst. I even went to therapy because of not being able to let him go. It's much better now but I still dream about him now and then.
@maylaine (441)
• Philippines
15 Sep 10
i think you just dont get over him totally that is why you always think of him...if you guys really meant for each other destiny will make its way to put you back together...if someone come along your way and love you and show you your importance i think there is no reason to forget your ex bf coz the present gives more.i think..
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
15 Sep 10
Hiya gxn,
Does it take a lifetime to forget someone. With time the memory of that person fades and even if you meet up again things will never be quite the same as before.
I met up with one ages ago and it was quite by chance and it was not a very pleasant encounter. As he seems to think I swore him eternal allegiance or something like that which I never did. He was with another Girl on top all I can say is I don´t want to meet up with them again if they don´t know how to behave properly.
If I can behave properly so can he and his other current Girlfriend.
I was very lucky to opt out of that one when I did very lucky indeed.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
15 Sep 10
This all depends on what kind of relationship you have had with someone. If was a deep and profound love, a lifetime may not ne long enough to make you forget someone.
@shearry18 (118)
• Davao, Philippines
15 Sep 10
For me it depends. If that person is worthy to be remembered then why not? on the other hand, if that someone is just a waste of my time then why bother to remember that person? With the situation that yo have right now, you are the only one who can sort things out. Well, you are actually right that you can't just bend time or let's say turn back time unless if you have powers like God. If you have a boyfriend now and you are still thinking about your ex boyfriend then I guess that's just being unfair to your current boyfriend.I'm not saying that your a bad person here, what I'm trying to say is you have to figure things out because time is precious. What if your current boyfriend will let go of your relationship and you will only know again that he is important once he is gone?Not again, right? We learn from our experiences and these experiences should make us a better person =) Good Luck my friend!
@misalax (307)
• Ireland
15 Sep 10
Hmm it would really take a while if you had lots of good memories with that person. Close all connections with that person would help, and probably put your time and thinkings on other hobbies, or more like put it more on your current boyfriend. It's normal for that to happen, or if you still have things that you weren't able to say to your ex, say it and release everything to make yourself feel better.
@jmramirezA (29)
•
15 Sep 10
Yes! in my opinion, I guess it takes a lifetime to really forget someone especially if that someone is very special to you. You'll always remember all the things that you have done with him before and how it made you miss him so much. It's hard to simply forget that someone and all the memories that you have made.
@nikramos (698)
• Philippines
15 Sep 10
i think there's one major thing that's missing for you to heal from the breakup. you need closure. in the first place if you loved your ex bf, you shouldn't have broken up with him whatever the reason is. understanding and patience are supposed to nurture a relationship and help it grow. if you and your ex talked to each other and settled the conflict prior to breaking up, then it could have been easier for you to move on. maybe there are things that u weren't able to ask him or tell him. now i don't think this is the right time for you to get back with him because you're disrespecting your current bf. i think it's lesson learned the hard way. like you said, you never know what you got till its gone. try to be more vocal with your feelings and be considerate also. just focus your attention on your bf and he can help you heal and move on :)
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
15 Sep 10
Yes, I do think its true, specially if it’s a crush or love affair. You go on thinking how it would have been, if you could be with that person now, how does that person look like now, whether you’ll recognize each other, etc. I know it personally coz I still think about my first crush though its been like more than twenty years now!
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
15 Sep 10
What happens if your current bf tells u he misses his ex and wants to see her?? How will u react?? I believe it's the same.
Since u mentioned it's ex, it's all in the past. Past are meant to be forgotten about that painful experience. NOt much man or woman are that generous enough to be willing to give up their love to another person.
Like u mentioned in your other post, u are together with your bf for 5 years, and thus it's expected u wont be able to forget him easily. BUt when u have not forgotten him, yet starting a new relationship, are u being fair to your current bf?? Have u thhought about his feelings then?? 
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
15 Sep 10
I don't believe that it takes a life time to forget someone. This is happen due to that fact that other people always want to remember it other than to forget it...
Remember all the ugliest thing you experience from that person to forget him/her. Maybe you remember your ex because there something happiness that makes the old days to remind you and your ex...
Have a great day!
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
15 Sep 10
Hi gxnfly
First love... Hmm that is something quite difficult to get over with when it comes to forgetting. As for others, it depends on your association with the concerned.
There is nothing wrong in dreaming about the past relation. But it would become a problem if it causes difficulties and strains the current relationship. Try out some meditation and I think that this would have good results.
Good Luck
@len1415 (195)
• Philippines
15 Sep 10
Well I believe there is nothing for you to be confused or guilty about if you know for yourself that you love your Present more than your Past. Yes it's somehow true that it takes forever to forget someone especially if that someone became very special and significant to your life. But once you have learned to move on and accepted what's there in front of your doorstep, that means you must have already erased and overcame the pain, the feelings, and the once situation you were in to yesterday. We dreamed of it sometimes, (cause I do too), but that doesn't mean it should affect your real world. Past is already past and only God and time can tell if he can still be your Present again.
@winstonbaltazar (355)
• Philippines
15 Sep 10
That could be unfair on your boyfriend's side. What you've said is true but a day to love someone is the thing I don't believe. We grow in love on someone, and sometimes we don't know that we are really in love with them because of the treatment you bestowed for them. Maybe you really love your ex-boyfriend because you can't forget him but if you are already moved on and progressing your life on your current boyfriend I hope that the past would be a learning and the present will benefit from it. I hope I answered your wonderful discussion.
