what if your boyfriend's mother does not like you?
By airasheila
@airasheila (5454)
Philippines
September 16, 2010 3:12pm CST
Good day Fellow Mylotters,
As the many people are saying, love conquers all. As love can move mountains. These are the lines that I always hear from the people who are terribly inlove with their partners.
But, what if, the mother of the guy that you are inlove with does not like you. Just like what has happened to my friend. My friend told me that she was introduced to the mother of her boyfriend. While she was being introduced, the mother of her boyfriend showed to her that she was not welcome to the family. As in, the mother throws some sarcastic words to my friend.
With regard to this, I also feel hurt, thinking, if I were on my friend's shoe, I dont know what to do. And now, my friend is asking me, what is the best thing to do, hence, I know she loved the guy so much.
I just responded, as for me, my feelings towards the man I loved will somehow be rattled. But, I will try to dig it deeper, if the love that we have will going far and prosper, maybe, I will try to fight for the love that we have. However, if the love that we have will just go nowhere, then, that is the time I will try to talk to my boyfriend and explain to him everything. That I will tell him directly, your mother does not like me to be your wife.
If you were on my place, and if you have a friend who is in the same situation, what will you do? Or what if you are in this situation - your boyfriend's mother does not like you and that you are not welcome by your future mother-in-law?
What will you going to do?
4 people like this
16 responses
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
16 Sep 10
Actually i will ignore her then, sweetie.
I am in love with my boyfriend, definately not his mother.
I can be rude and ignorant as well.
I hope he is not attached to his mothers apron or something.
He was suppose to come up for his girl friend.
I still cannot understand why most mothers behave that way.
Don't they want their children to be happy?
I wish your friend all the luck in the world.
PS: One thing she should NOT do, is grovel.
She has to make that women understand how she feels about her son and that she honestly do not care what the mother think of her.
TATA.
1 person likes this
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
18 Sep 10
first i would talk with my bf and tell him that his mother didnt like me and if he knows why. then would try to show her i really love her son. also i wouldnt leave my bf bcs his mother didnt like me. unless he wanted me away. but if he wanted be with me i wouldnt let that woman separate us. i would care much for him and be sweet to him like always and that way he wouldnt leave me bcs if i make him happy no reason for him to leave me. sure we dont feel ok if our bf's mother doesnt like us but i wouldnt lose my love bcs a woman that doesnt like me^^ she would have to accept im her son's gf and even if she doesnt like me i wont leave her son^^ thats what i would do^^ your friend must continue to be herself and dont care if his mother doesnt like her^^ she loves him so she only has to continue doing that^^ dont let your friend be sad^^ just tell her not to worry^^ what matters is her bf opinion^^ and he continues beside her^^ so is bcs he loves her^^
@angelface23 (2494)
• United States
17 Sep 10
I had this with my ex boyfriend. I at least got the impression that she didn't like me. She wasn't very nice or sociable with me. In fact she terrified me. It's probably cause I didn't meet her until we were together for 2 years. He would always say things about her to make me think she wasn't a nice person. ONe time we did talk and i was so nervous and sick to my stomach because obviously I wanted her to like me. Then we broke up and I messed around with other guys. Then we got back together. I think he had told her about me with the other guys so Im sure that made her not like me even more. There was one time I spent the night and I had a bowl of cereal and left it in the kitchen and she said something not even mean or smart about it and I did end up crying over it and what did my ex do? He told her i was crying!! I was so embarrassed I just left. He couldnt understand why that made me so upset. I guess it was a little silly as I was like 20 or 21 at the time. After we broke up for good, I had a baby to my now husband and she saw me outside my house and stopped and talked to me. She of course heard about the baby which I think she might have hoped was to her son but time wise it wasn't possible. Never saw her again after that.
@SimpleBB (1329)
• Philippines
17 Sep 10
If I were the girl, I will just make sure that my boyfriend is really full support on my side for it is very difficult to fight for something alone especially in love. if your boyfriend really loves you, that is so deserving to fight for. But if he will not that capable to fight for you, he absolutely deserve to fight for. For me, if we mutually in love with each other, no matter who will go againsta between us, what important is me and my loveone. We are the one to live together, we can survive against all odds if we are both willing to fight for it. So...go..go. Happy mylotting.
@jet2r0cks (190)
• Philippines
17 Sep 10
I'm actually experiencing a similar thing, except my boyfriend's mother liked me initially. She told my boyfriend that she was impressed with me when she first met me, but when I started to go to their house more often, and when she saw that her son was spending a lot of time with me, it seemed as if she constantly came up with ways for us to not meet, and even argue :( My boyfriend and I are still not sure with this, but if that is how she really feels then I'll just have to try my best to get her approval again. She's my boyfriend's mom, and I know she wants the best for her son, so her opinion is very important to me. I know that she's also very important to my boyfriend, so I'm really determined to make her like me.
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
17 Sep 10
It's something she needs to discuss with her boyfriend. How close is he to his mother? How important is it to him that his mother approve of and get along with the woman in his life? Whose side would he choose in the event of conflict?
If he is unwilling to stand up for her to his mother and requires his partner get along with his mother, then the relationship has no chance. He will always choose his mother over his partner and nothing good will ever come of that.
If he doesn't care what his mother thinks and will love his partner and stand up for her, then how his mother behaves is between him and his mother. He needs to be the one to stand up to her and tell her to not be so rude to the woman in his life. If she cannot manage to do that, then they need the limit how often they visit or spend time with his family and just try to ignore her as best as possible whenever being together is unavoidable.
My mother-in-law does not like me and I cannot stand her. She is extremely rude, manipulative, selfish and just plain toxic. I tried my best to be nice to her and tried to relate to her in someway but she's just a plain bad person. I have no seen nor spoke to her (or any of my in-laws for that matter) in over 4 years and I intend to keep it that way.
@lakerfanster (2577)
•
17 Sep 10
I would want to know why they didn't like me, Sometimes it's just getting used to someone in your son/daughters life.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
17 Sep 10
You should only worry yourself with how your boyfriend feels about you. Mothers can be very protective over their children. It is something that can not be denied. Let your boyfriend's mother get to know you better. let her see what your boyfriend sees in you. The mother may just come around to accepting you. @sfcreyes24 (129)
• Philippines
17 Sep 10
For me, I will prove them that I am deserving to be liked ! I will show them that I really love my boyfriend
@edwardjoy2000 (2387)
• United Arab Emirates
17 Sep 10
Its a bad situation...my wife went through the same situation before we were married. My mom was against our marriage, she did not like her and neither did she like me meeting her. I had a bad and a tough time to make her understand that I loved her lots. I gave her all the possible explaination and she did not agree. Finally I had to get married against her will...Its going to be 2 years next month and she is changed and now they both are in good terms.
@jinghan (133)
• China
17 Sep 10
my girlfriend is one year older than me ,which was said to be a problem that her parents is opposed .
in consideration of we are undergraduate ,it's a long time before we can get married ,
eh ,i make the decision to wait ,depending on circumstances .
one of my friend 's boyfriend is short which was disliked by her Mather ,i wish they could have a happy ending .
@flauee (92)
•
17 Sep 10
well... if i were your friend, the 1st thing would pop up to mind is " who cares if you don't like me. 'cause your son does."
but still its painful when your judge right away with them not knowing you.
now it also depends on the BF's reaction to this. if he is ready to fight for me or not.... his mother will always be his mother.. she still has a great impact on him.. i wanna know u until what point will he fight for me ( that is if he will).
@koAebryant (358)
• China
17 Sep 10
This don't happen to me.If it happens to me,I don't mind her mother.I will insist.until "what's done is done ".
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
16 Sep 10
My husband and I both feel that if one truly loves another, parents opinions shouldn't matter. My Mom wasn't crazy about my guy at first, but when she saw how much we loved eachother, she came to love him.
@shevechang (35)
• China
17 Sep 10
1. if his mother like you or not is not import?nt..
the point is he love you and you love him as well
2. kill the mother
