Should we bring up our children in strict way or lenient way?

Life is getting more and more difficult these days, so my suggestion on parenting would be to naturally be a warm hearted parent but we must have rules and standards within the home. Sure it is nice to be friendly with our children but we must at an early age make sure they understand that we are not their friends, we are the parent. Consistencey is the only way any family can function. By this I mean No, must always mean no, not we will see, or maybe yest later. It is the only way children will understand that a home must be respected. After all as humans do we not have to respect the law. So same applies at home.

I guess the right formula is half of both. And you have to be a friend also not just a parent to them. If you want them to listen to you, respect and listen to them if needed.

Both. I think people need to know what's best for the situation, as sometimes being too strict isn't the best choice. I know of parents who have lost the respect of their children because of this and the same thing can be said for those who make themselves push overs by being way to lenient. Personally the way I am is firm but fair, if my children tell me the truth they just get a talking too and if one of them lies then they are made very much aware that I don't stand for it.

Usually, it is best to try to hit the middle ground, neither too harsh nor too lenient. Most important is consistency with lots of love.

I think that the best way to be successful in our endeavor of raising children is that we need to be neither too lenient or too strict on our children while they are growing up. If we are too strict on our children they may grow to resent us. On the other hand if we are too lenient with our children, then they will most likely walk all over us as parents. With that said, I think that as parents we need to pick the things that are important us to be strict with and have other areas that we are more lenient with.

...i think, both should be applied...strict but lenient..when a parent becomes strict with their children, they should make sure to let their children understand why they are doing so...give a child a valuable reason why you scold him, in that way, he will realize that what he did was never good...let them play like how normal children of their age do...let them experience how it feels to be a child...give them freedom but be sure to be on their back all the time, to correct them when they are wrong, to guide them and of course to praise them when they did good...i believe there are certain stages in child's growth wherein a particular way of raising a child is more effective at...this is just base on my own experience and observation to other people's experience...

Well, there has to be a balance. If you raise them too strict, then they will grow up to hate you, but if you are too lenient with them, they will think that they can get away with murder. I say let them have freedom, but with some boundaries. Teach them the meaning of responsibility. My mother did this with my brother and I using a rewards system, each time we did something good we got a reward, if we did something bad, then we were punished for it in time out or with a spanking, it depended on the offense. Of course, what really taught my brother and I responsibility was taking care of animals, cats in general. My brother and I had three cats, and one out of the three had to be bottle fed and had to have a lot special treatment. This was a tedious job. Basically, it was teaching us how to be parents, and if this doesn't teach children responsibility, I don't know what will. Goldie (at the time we first got her was three weeks old, and my brother and I were 11 and 12) had to be fed every two to three hours, she had to be burped a little, and she had to be cuddled a lot. She had to have her box changed (because she was so tiny, she had to sleep in a box with lots Kleenex tissue in it, this was to keep her clean and fresh and in case she urinated or had a bowel movement it was easy clean up), and she always had to have a bath. My brother and I did a spectacular job of taking care of her, and it wasn't easy. She is 13 years old today with a few health problems here and there, but relatively healthy, and she definitely taught us the meaning of responsibility. I think that pets are good, but everyone, including the children have to be on the ball with taking care of them. Pets a major responsibility, and anyone who says otherwise has never truly raised one. My mother did this to us to show us that we had to be responsible. She never scolded us, but she would tell us that we had to take care of ourselves and that we had to take care of what we had. I have Asthma and Allergies, and my brother was a Type 1 Diabetic. You learn in life that you have to take care of yourself or something bad will happen. My brother and I weren't bad kids (although we could be lazy because of our conditions), and things weren't easy for us. When we were kids, our parents like to get us involved in things, and that was how we learned a lot of our skills. Also, my parents were military, and they taught us military ways and values. We had a pretty unique background.

I agree with the others that have said that you have to have a mix. I also think that you have to sometimes go by the child. For instance, some punishments that will work with my son...totally do not work for my daughter. And my son has always been better at doing things and following the rules on his own than my daughter has. So we tend to be a little more on top of what my daughter is doing than we have ever been with my son. When he was her age, he could be in his room playing while I was doing housework or yard work or whatever and I didn't have to worry about whether he was doing things he wasn't supposed to...my daughter is totally the opposite!

The best way to raise kids is to raise them with the kowledge of respect. It does not have to be in a lenient or strict way of upbringing them. When a child knows how to respect himself, his parents and the people that surrounds him, a parent van be confident that they have raised their children well and that they will not be easiy affected by the evil that may surround them.

Your uncle completely missed the point in parenting. The rule of thumb is like a good food: TLC or tender loving care, with discipline as a side dish. That means a parent must establish bonding but when a situation calls for disciplinary measures, it is perfectly all right to invoke who gets the last say. It is always the parent. Whatever happened to the first son?

hi , i'm a mother of five, 2 are boys , while 3 are girls . My father raised me up very strictly especially when i started dating. When its time for me with my kids i decided to bring my children up with love , lots of love . I always want to place myself in their shoes whenever they ask me of something. I want to be strict but not so much that i would hurt them or they cannot exercise their rights of being a child , a friend to their friends or simply to enjoy being young. I always see to it that communication is always open between us. Mornings should be started with all of us in the breakfast table and dinner should always be shared by all of us . We shared our stories at dinner, we also like to watch TV's together because stories in the movies are also like teaching life's lesson. My children are all grown ups now , 3 had graduated and now have their own career and not yet married . Now that they have their own money , we slowly make our dreams come true little by little , we talk about travels , outings , and the things we would like to have. I thank God because ofthe children that made me happy because i made a promise to God that I would make sure that my children would know Him and in return help me in rearing these children

i dont know this ,and i don't have a wife and a child , but i think educate the children when we are parents , we need these two ways to educate him or her. just do what you should being a parent.and i want to be a father in the future. so i want to know more advice about this subject . thank you .

Such situation is so familiar to me.. I grew up with much hate to my father because he was so strict to me ever since I was a kid and that certain feelings made us apart.. Now that I already have a family, I am more lenient when it comes to our children.. My husband do the disciplinary actions while I am the one who do the talking to our kids, why they are being punished.. I feel really bad seeing my kids being punished, but then I just talk to them after their father did the punishment.. Explain to them why and listen to them also their angst.. I was once a kid but never heard the reasons.

u shoul be lenient as well as strict with the children... thats the best way for them to get them on the right track... if u are too lenient then it will let them to be free and do whatever they wants to n this will let them go in wrong society... n if u are too strict then it will bound ur children.. and they start doing watever they wants to by hiding it from you.. so the best way is be lenient as well as strict...

We are all products of our parents upbringing and we carry that baggage in our heads. Having said that we should guide our children to live their lives in a way that we see will be good for them and society but bearing in mind that our ideas are influenced by the way we were brought up which may not be the best way. So we may not always be right and this should be explained to them. I have 4 children who at the moment are all happily married and seem to be doing well. I am a atheist and so it my wife. So we told them that religions are all made up by men and it is your decision if you decide to follow the teachings of any particular person or none at all. We have an atheist who has just married a catholic girl in a catholic church. A sunday school teacher, A pagan who has married a christian in a church and a don't know and don't care who did once get married in a church but never goes and they seem to be content with their decisions which is just fine. So nurture them, guide them in the best way you can, encourage them in whatever they decide to do and let them develop in their own way.

That sounds sad, sorry to hear about it. It may be difficult but I do hope your uncle is feeling well. Children should not be brought up either way. It should be balanced. Parents must be strict in a way that the children does learn from it and grow up to be good citizens. Also, being strict at times is good in terms of safety of the child. On the other hand, there must be some leniency to allow the children to experience childhood and not feel under the control of their parents. They also will get to have several experiences and learn from them. Me, I feel I've been brought up in a mix of both, more like 65% strict and 45% lenient. When I was around 7-9, I was always guided with my studies and made to take "exams" my parents made for me to prepare me for the real exams on school. I was also made to study lessons ahead of time so that when the day the lesson comes up at school, I would know them and get to participate in class. I did have some play time after these study sessions, lots of it. I was a straight A student. By 10 years old, I was on my own. One thing I'm pretty annoyed about is that I had to go to school by school bus (not one at a station but one that goes to each house of the riders). I rarely got to join after school activities and parties unless I get fetched or have someone come with me (this sucks big time!). I only got to commute by college. But even today, my curfew at most would be 9pm to 10pm. I think it's all right that I got protected in a sense that the risk of the daily dangers were reduced. The downside though is that I'm not as good socially as with many people. What I did like about this one is that we have a very close family and I don't easily succumb to peer pressure. I guess that's one upside of that. These are just a few things but I hope these would help you in some way. Have a nice day!

It's sad for me to see that such things actually happened to your Uncle. Some parents believe that using being strict will make their children more obedient towards them,however that something is not correct,children that are brought up in a strict way may be more rebelious than others.And being too lenient is also not a right way,just like your uncle's experience,they can do whatever they want and thought what they are doing is all correct.So,the correct formula of bringing up a children should be using 50% of strictness and 50% of leniency.