Loving the terminally ill; is it worth the heartbreak in the end?
By brute187
@brute187 (6)
United States
September 18, 2010 3:16am CST
Would you continue to be in a relationship and even marry someone diagnosed with a terminal illness?
I ask this because my fiance went to the doctor today and was told that she might have cancer. I love this woman more than life itself and I want to be with her forever but I do not know if I am strong enough to watch her pass away if it is terminal.
7 responses
@marguicha (223107)
• Chile
9 Jan 11
We are not strong but we become strong when we need to help someone we love. It is because while our loved one needs us, we forget our own needs for a while and put them away. Just think whether you can help her and ask yourself whether you want to help her. That is all.
@_sketch_ (5742)
• United States
31 Dec 10
I think we should always spend as much time as possible with the people we love. People die; love doesn't; good memories don't. The fact that life is so short is the very thing that gives it so much meaning. I say cherish the time you have.
@IsisGreen (554)
•
23 Sep 10
Don't let anyone tell you, and don't think for a moment, that you're some kind of monster for even asking this question. I think it'd betray a lack of concern in fact if you didn't.
I don't think you need an answer. You already know that you will stay with her. Consciously or not, what you're after is support and understanding (and maybe sympathy). You deserve and should get all those in abundance. Look to your close friends and family and people you can rely on. If your fiance does get ill, you'll be caring for her, but don't neglect that you might need to draw on sources of support for yourself too. It's hard to ask for help, and takes more courage than pretending nothing is wrong.
@lady1993 (27224)
• Philippines
30 Dec 10
I would not go on with a relationship like that because I know I can't take it. I might die of depression r something. But I think it is worth the risk, if you really love the woman. And as I've read, you really do. Just ask God for strength.. Is she fine now,??
@jypsyjulia (912)
• United States
23 Sep 10
Absolutely. If it is true love, you can't help yourself. You will find yourself doing crazy things that you wouldn't normally do. For example, right now I could say that I would not get involved with a terminally ill person, but the heart speaks for itself and if I fell in love with him, you can bet everything you have that I will stay with him until the end. Just like, if your fiance's cancer is terminal (God willing it is NOT), you should stick by her side.
@LaurenInLA (2270)
• United States
19 Sep 10
If you truly love her, you will be by her side whether she has terminal cancer or not. If it is terminal, you will be heartbroken in the end but how heartbeoken do you think she will be if you leave her at the time that she needs you the most? My son passed away from lung cancer in 2004 and his fiancee was by his side until the end. It takes a strong person with a lot of character to do it but I cannot tell you how much respect we have for her. She didn't take the easy way out and we will never forget how much that meant to us and to my son.