Do you want your children to stay or take care of you when you are old?

I took good care of my mom and stay besides her till her last breath and I think nobody can do the best care for an aging parent other than his/her children. People here don't usually send old parents to the old folk homes. They would prefer them to stay with the family. I would like of course my children to take care of me, when I grow old, but should there would be reasons for them not to, I would surely understand. Though am quite sure one of my three children would take good care of me, I just don't want to be that very old, so I could be of much burden to any of them.

When I would have a child, I would become a father who would have some expectations from his children. This is quite natural of me as a father. And like all father's I would wish that my child/ren get the best of what they can have in their times. Though I would desire that the child/ren take care of me/us in the old age, I would not be a burden on them if they have a better chance of a happier life without me/us. At the present moment I think I would leave it on Destiny and God to decide what is best for all of us. Happy Mylotting.

As mentioned by the very first responder of this discussion, we have close family ties here in the Philippines. So, I would really want my children to stay and take care of me when I get old same as how my grandparents did. Based on experience, my grandmother had Alzheimer's disease 5 years ago.. she had lots of different sickness such as that and diabetes as well. A nursing home for old people is an option but my grandmother firmly told us that she doesn't wanna go there, she just wants to stay with us. So she did. She has her personal caregiver and most of us in the family surrounds her with love and care up until her last breath (june2010). It was inspiring for me in terms of how deep our family ties are and how I would want to be treated the way our family treated my grandmother. Best of luck

hi yspmyl I am old and I was staying with my only sonwhen he lost his job. We got evicted and he was unfortuneate in not getting another job at once so I did end up here in Gold Crest retirement center buty it not a typical oldfolks home as we are all able to do for ourselves.He managed to get gov.sponsored housing with three other men, now fianlly after one and a half years he is working again. He had no choice as we had no home and no money but my small social security and ssi check. the retirement center takes most of what i have for room and board monthly.i am not blaming him as he was laid off andcould not get another job.

When my parents grow old I'd want to take care of them instead of sending them to a home care. However, when I grow old it does not really matter to me if my children will send me to a home care as long as they visit me every weekend or I stay with them during weekend and holidays and days they don't have to go to work. My children are still a toddler and an infant so I don't have any idea as of the moment if they would end up sending me to a home care or they would take care of me personally. It would be better however to be always with them rather than being away. However, I don't expect for them to personally take care of me. I have a work and when I retire I'll have enough money to get someone who could take care of me. So even if I stay with my children they would not need to worry about me. Hopefully, I'll be able to find someone who will take care of me while at home and my children are at work.

i would definitely love my kids to stay with me and be with me till the day i die, but then its really up to them if they want too, they will soon grow up and have their own families too, a frequent visit will also do, as long as they will not forget me and call me all the time that is fair enough with me.. :)

Hi yspmyl, I took care of my mom for the last few months of her life. It was really really tough and it took an awful lot of time away from my daughter who also needed me. I have no regrets about doing it but I would not want to put my kids through that. I have told them that if I reach a point where I am unable to care for myself then they should just put me in a nursing home.

Hi yspmy, Years ago, children were expected to take care of their aging parent(s). However, in today society, parents are living longer healthier lives. The parents are also setting up legal arrangements for long-term care. They are making the decision and to how they want to live their final days and not just leaving it to chance that their children will look after them when they are too old to make rational decisions. Long-term care insurance has become very popular among the Baby Boomers. Even though they are expected to live twenty to thirty years longer, they are not taking any chances with their future care. I would not want my child to have the burden of taking care of me if I could not help with my own care.

Although it would be beautiful and lovely I will not hold my children responsible for my elderly care. I have raised my children to be loving and respectful children that I believe neither one of them will allow me to go to a nursing home or an elder nursing facility as they express very close love for me, as this is how I raised them. However if it became a chore I would not blame them one bit as this is very difficult of a task especially for young struggling children to be committed to.

It is a child's responsibility to look after his/her parents when they are grown up. A mother never feel bad to raise the child cleaning all the dirt everyday, giving him/her proper food, taking care in all ways. A father never feels bad to spend for the child's education, clothes and so on.. then why should a child feel to see his parents when he is grown up. It is just an excuse if children say that they don't have time, they love their parents but because they will be alone they must be somewhere else and all this sort of things. Just a mere excuse and nothing else. Every son and daughter must and should take care of their parents when they are old. whatever they do for their parents is always less only. Parents want to spend the rest of their lives with their children and grand-children, no one wants to go away from close people and stay far away. Hope every child realizes that they are most indebted to their parents then to anyone else and at-least with that in mind they must look after their parents.

Definitely every parents should be happy if their children can talk care of them when their are old. As parents, we should consider about the situation of their children. If the parents are still physically fit and they are not a burden to their children for surviving, then it should be fine to stay together. Moreover, our children have to spend most of their time to earn for living. For me, as long as my children are happy, I shall be satisfied too. ha! ha! ha! I just want to be a Great dad to them.

I have a daughter and we still live together, but I hope that she'll have a good chance in her life with her own family and kids. I think that she wouldn't leave me alone if I'm really old and can't take care of myself. But I hope that somehow this won't happen. The life is harder and harder and I don't want to be a burden for her.

I know that in some societies, that is the way life works. When a parental unit is unable to live on their own, they come and live with their child. I do not think that I could do this. I would be more receptive to the idea of hiring a live in caregiver, and then spending weekends at my parents place to take care of them and give the caregiver time off. I just know that my relationship with my mom is already strained at times, and living full time with her would not be good for either one of us. As for my child taking care of me, I do not want to be a burden on her when it gets to that time of life for me.

I hope that when and if the time comes that I need to be taken care of that my children would step up to the plate and help me. Most parents that I know that are alot older than me don't want to be a burden to their children or anyone. I feel the same way. I don't want to be a burden to them or to anyone. But sometimes that can't be helped. There are those I know who have taken their parents into their homes to take care of them but down the road as their parents health deteriorated they had to put them in a nursing home though they didn't like having to do so.

I hope they would, specially when it took so much effort to raise them. I know I wouldn't send my parents to the old folks home, even if it can get hard sometimes. My mother and father both worked hard to raise me into a good member of society, and without them I wouldn't be alive right now, so the least I can do is care for them personally when they get really old.

Hi there! Im from the Philippines and here in our country, we have a very close family ties. We value our family so much and most, if not all here really take good care of their parents when they became old and gray. Me, personally wanted my very own children to take good care of me because its a good feeling that someone close to me are there to love and take good care of me though im i cannot move anymore. Good night!

here in India, children do take care of children when they get old. But i would not personally not keep expectations on my children or child. I will make a living for myself and will keep enough money to take care of myself and my wife for our future.

People used to live and stil live in joint families in India where the old get to stay with the young and the family is run with the old people's love and wisdom and the strength and energy of the young. But days are changing and there are many nuclear families coming up with children going away for studies, work or simply to get away from the elders. This results in old people being left to fend for themselves or join an old age home where they have at least companionship and a little dignity left. I don't have either my parents or my husband's living with us right now, but would be happy to have them with us all the time. My daughter would be delighted to have her grandparents at home. But I don't know whether my daughter would take care of us or not in our old age. In her times, god knows where she will be and even though I would like to be with her, I would understand if she is not able to have me with her. Yes, I would miss her a lot, but then, it is her life and she has to live it in her own terms.