I am not a perfect mother but I am trying

Hi Kyss Smyle, I'm a little confused as to just how your brother in law really ties into all of this. Does he live with the in-laws as well? I ask because you say that he called because your child was crying so I am guessing that he was listening to it. How many kids do you have and who watches them when you are out at night working extra? You said in another post that you don't pay your inlaws for staying there but the brother in law does and you think that is why he is favored? I would talk to your brothers parents and ask them if this bothers them. I don't know their situation but it could be that they expect to get paid. I know that I could not afford to take in another family for free. I raised my kids by myself and I know very well that it is hard to juggle time with the kids and work and all. Once the dust settles a little, I think it would be a good idea to call a family meeting so that this sort of arguing doesn't continue.

It is nobodys business but you and your husbands. It is hard sometimes and depending on the country you are in the economy could be rough. I work full time and go to school and try to earn extra online as well. Sometimes it is hard. As long as you are giving quality time with your kids. Remember that material things are not everything. Children are much more likely to enjoy and remember experiences compared to materials. I do understand how you feel because it is hard to get enough time in with the kids. I do not feel as if you are a bad mother though just remember that time is way more valuable than money. It sounds as if you are doing your best and I feel that with time things will get better for you. Just remember they grow up fast. Dont wait too long.

The situation you experience is not an isolated case I also observe it happen to my neighbor and even to my sister. That really the case when you still could not find a place of your own their are many eyes around who would judge your capability. Though you just work to earn and not being a full time mom does not mean you are not a good mom.it just that your situation entail you to be away from your children. As long as you know you are a good mom no one should question you since you know for yourself you do all your best you could to help your family. Some really have narrow mind that because a girl get married they think they should be confine in the house forever which some oblige while others dislike it differs in every situation and they have their own reasons so it is just a matter of understanding and explanation so those around you would know your real reasons.

his brother started questioning my "being a mother" THAT IS WAY OUT OF LINE. HE may have a Live-in partner but does he have a child? how would he know how hard it is to be a parent if he doesn't even how to calm a baby. and his being a lot more sustainable to your husbands parents are NOT EXCUSE EITHER. The Bottom Line is YOUR THE MOM, HE HAS NO RIGHT TO QUESTION EVERYTHING bout your being a parent because It's none of his business. and for what's more, they're your kids. you should have fight back, he's stepping the line here, and it's not right.

Hello, Kyss_smyle.:) I'm not sure if I will salute you for that or if I will pity your kids... I'm sorry but I was in your position two years ago... My husband works in an NGO and needless to say he is earning enough to feed all of us but not enough to be financially stable in the long run. I was also working as a teacher and during my spare time, i also have tutorials for kids and interior designing for my clients. I was living with my parents in the province with all my kids while my husband lived in the city. I hardly had time with my kids except during weekend and during the night when it is almost bedtime for them...My husband and I would justify our working so hard for our children's future.My parents looked after my kids while I was away, we also have a nanny for them. Then, my daughter got sick. She was hospitalized and there her condition was almost in a critical level. The nurses couldn't find a vein to insert an IV because her blood vessels already collapsed. They started looking for a possible passage around 2 pm but it was already 12 midnight and they still couldn't find one.She was like a chicken meat pricked everywhere. My daughter was looking at me, wide eyed with horror and pain, her voice was already almost a whisper calling me , she was crying but there was no tears falling from her eyes. All she can say was Mama,her little hand was trying to reach out to me and her eyes were pleading me to help her.There was nothing I can do but hug her while she was being p r i c k over and over again.... She was just two years old, then. I prayed so hard that night like I never prayed before... I realized that it is not worth it. All the hard works that we were doing is nothing because the very persons who are the reasons for those hard works are the persons we tend to neglect. What is the use? My children need me and there is no amount of money that can compensate the love of a parent to her/his child. I asked God to give me another chance. I'd sacrifice everything for my children in order to give them the love and care that they deserve from me. I will never let my daughter or any of her siblings to go through that same ordeal. Our kids are more important than anything else in this world. God bless you and your whole family, Kyss_smyle.:)

I guess it is always easy to point fingers when we are not looking at the log in our own eye. I understand that being a parents is hard and so much more when you need to earn a little extra to get the family going from day to day. Your brother in law might not have any clue because he does not have kid yet. I guess his meddling is rooted in his insecurity because he knows where he stands in terms of relationship.

As parents the mother and father should share equal responsibility and if the brother is questioning the ability of either one of you parenting he shouldn't just question your ability. However, it is not a problem and doesn't mean you aren't a good parent if you leave your child with a sitter. People do it all the time. This has to be done sometimes so that we can support our children. Stand up for yourself and expect your husband to stand up for you as well. He should not allow his family to mistreat you at all.

You know my friend. I want to congratulate you for doing anything to be a perfect mother. But remember there is no perfect human being. We are all committing a mistake. There is no such a perfect mother, on earth. Mother, only a perfect when his husband or children. Says, your a perfect mother. Even though in reality mother, is also committing mistakes... Have a great day!

Jesus is the only one to make you a perfect mother without him there is no perfect mother on earth.tony4u

sometimes, men don't understand women who leave their kids to the care of sitters or nanny, while they go to work. they are often men who believe that women's places are in the house, taking care of the husband and kids. they fail to see the sacrifice that a mother does, just to provide for her kids as well as care for them too at the same time. is your brother in law always doing these? interfering with the way you handle your family? if he is, then it is high time to tell him, when you're calm that you are matured enough to decide what's good for your kids or not. Tell him that you know he meant well but in this trying times, a mother must do what she must do. This is not an era where keeping the family up is left only to the father, one must also work to provide for everything. He might not understand your motive still but at least he will know that you know what you're doing and that you will not let anyone make you feel bad just because you want to provide for your kids.

When we achieve certain things, we shall lost another parts. It is very difficult to make everything to be perfect. In my point of view, we should allocate out time equally. For instance, you must allow certain hours with your children everyday. They really need your concern. Some day when you are very wealthy, or you have achieved what you are asking for, then you will realized that you are still not feeling satisfaction. Something is still missing in your life. This is the fact. A lady told her mother that she wanted to read 10,000 of books within 3 years. She spent most of her time in reading. She did it within the 3 years. But later she felt very bad and lonely, because she lost most of her friends and the social life. I just hope your husband and you shall not be so aggressive in earning for extra income. Both of you must take care of your family too. I have a good suggestion. Is it possible to let your children to join in your dancing class. At the same time, they can learn dancing with their parents too.

Don’t mind other opinion, from your post i know you are confrent with a serious situation.some people have misunderstood you ,you have done plent of things to support your family .you have a heave family laod .i hope you can go through hardships.some things must solve at last,you can talk with them face to face,try to explain something for youself. good luck!!!!

Try to give prime importance to your children than money. Money will come and it will go. I understood that u both r working hard 4 ur children. Tha's gud. But at the same time, u have 2 find out time 2 spend with ur children. Children like their parents than everything in the world. They like ur presence always. So i'm telling u 2 give special care, love and attention 2 ur children. No one is perfect in the world. People r always around us 2 criticize. Criticism is always good 4 self improvement. It always helps us to understand our fault. Take it as positive. B+...........

yeah some peoples always talk about other people negative because they dont know what the positive in others,so my opinion is i think you must manage your schedule time with your kids and job i know its hard but try it because me as a child ever been not cared,i think you should not care about what people saying about you because you are what are you do,,so you must be passion and just dont care about what your husband brother opinion because every single incident can make you think what you should do,so sister be passion and think deeply about everything you do :D ,this is only my opinion

don't be mad about your brother in law.. and don't mind what he's saying, the only important thing is that you and your husband help together in building and raising your kids, you two can make your own choices in regards to taking care of your kids, just make sure that you spend time with them because children needs the care of their parents and not babysitters.. balance everything out.. your time for work, for your kids and at home. goodluck!! :)

You are already being good mother.. do not listen to negative comments You must keep you attention to (the future) of your family.. what the hell others?

Like you, I am a mother too. I have a 5-yr old and a 1-month old baby. Although my husband has a stable job, I still try to make earn money through online jobs. I think your brother-in-law should mind his own business. I think anybody is a good mother as long as her kids are fine, healthy and happy.