a relationship with a married guy...

From what I have seen these relationships get very complicated. I'm sure your friend is excited, crazy about him and maybe even in love. You bet they enjoy being together - it is like a honeymoon. But, sooner or later, they will have to touch back down to earth and deal with relationships and issues. At that point people will get hurt and hurt deeply. It might happen to your friend or the one she loves as well. Advise her carefully, but if she is love-blind, she may not see the problem. djbtol

it is a really difficult situation to be involved with such affairs. do try to enlighten your friend regarding this matter. let her think things over with regards to he relationship with a married. coz we all know that it has a lot of consequences afterwards. it is really painful to be involved with such situation most especially that it is difficult to express their love for one another completely. so what i would suggest is to ask her to find out for herself if she is willing to be just the other woman on her man's life. if she does tell that she know what she is doing and is willing to take any risk, then maybe you have done your part as a friend. all you can do is to reassure her that no matter what happens, you will always be beside her.

As a friend you have the right to advice but not in the sense of meddling in their affair they probably already in the right to know what is the proper conduct between married and unmarried couple so if they would not like to be scandalized so they need to think of the solution to their situation. It is not all the time they could hide so they need to let the other party to have knowledge of their situation. So incase the other party agree to have a divorce so to make your friend situation legal they could get married so they need to keep the other connection cut off if they like to continue their relationship.

I think that is what love can really do to us, we do something wrong and still doing it just to be with the one we love. For me the best thing you should do is to let your friend know what could happen in the long run of their relationship, if the man can divorce his current marriage with his wife just to be with your friend well its a good thing for your friend, but if not then tell your friend to think more because at the end she is the one whose going to regret everything.

This is definitely a sensitive issue. I would advise the friend to stay away from the married man. A friend of mine in high school got involved with a man who lied to her and said he was divorced. When my friend called to talk to him, his wife found the number in his cell phone. She called my friend back and threatened to track her down and hurt her. When my friend told her that this man claimed he was single she said that was a lie. They were married and if she found out that my friend had any involvement with this man she was going to file harassment charges against the friend. It was very stressful for my friend. Even if their marriage is one of convenience when it comes to a marriage a person is stepping on toes unless this couple is one of the few that has an open relationship. If you don't say anything she could be placed in a similar situation.

I really believe in the adage If someone is willing to cheat with you then they will be willing to cheat on you. Never get involved with someone who is married. It will not be a good relationship, especially if children are involved. Even if your friend is ready to be a mother, being a mother and being a step mother are two different things, and require two different skill sets, especially if she is being seen as the reason mommy and daddy are breaking up.

Hi Brean rhea, Unfortunately, other than state your opinion to your friend, there isn't much you can do. She went into this knowing full well that the guy was married . As a friend, the most you can do is be there for her when this comes crashing down on her. If she had confusion with her boyfriend then this is probably going to get complicated enough to really confuse her.

In the very beginning we know that he is a married man and doesn't available. but despite that she likes him and agreed to have the relationship because she is in love. To have a relationship with a married one is wrong as we know, but speaking of love it doesn't know of what is wrong or right. She had the right love at a wrong time and man. Well how can you say that she love a married man without hurting her? Probably we only need to do is just remind her always of the relationship she has now. Put herself to a place of a woman she stepped. Ask her of what she can feel if she is in her situation. Let herself decide and convinced that she is doing the wrong thing in her life. She is the one who can cure herself. Along the way don't leave her alone now for she needs a friend like you to understand. Let her realize the true situation of her life being with a married man who is still attach with his wife. We know that the time will come she will realize her true situation. As of now understand her. And if they are really meant for each other well that is their destiny as I believe. Have a nice day!

Getting involved in a serious relationship with someone who is married is not a wise choice. It is a relationship that has no future. it is doomed from the start. We need to begin relationships that have a chance to nurture and grow. How can you put your love and trust in a relationship where these bonds hsve already been broken?

hello brean_rhea! this i honestly tell you, whatever you will say, your friend will get hurt. why? well, you have said that when they're together, they are happy. how many months or years have they been together? you know what? even if your friend will listen to you, even if she knows that what she's doing is wrong (him, being a married man and all that), if she's happy with him, she's happy with him and nothing can change that. But i will tell you something which i am not sure will be of help to you but in the right moment, you can narrate this to your friend for this is my own, true story. i had a boyfriend, a single military man who loved me very dearly but who just can't seem to deal with his experiences when he was assigned to the rebel-infested place in our country that he intoxicates himself frequently, which led me to broke up with him. But before we officially broke up, during one of my trainings i met someone who i did not really gave much thought since i was still engaged to my military bf. This guy always went out of his way to make me feel at ease, and make me feel special during that weeklong training but i was too caught up with my tumultuous relationship with my military bf to pay attention to him. I went home to my hometown and after some months, same guy contacted me with regards to the training (he was one of our speakers)and was sent to technically helped me out on a project. Even then, i was still treating him as a stranger and visitor to our town but a week after that, things changed. we sort of got closed to each other and he sort of told me that he and his wife were leading fake lives, and he is not really happy with her. to make his point he told me that he actually had a long distant relationship with a woman for a year but who came to visit him for a month. during those times, things have really changed between him and his wife which really made them drift apart more. He was the nicest guy i have ever met to tell you honestly. he made me special in so many ways and he was so romantic that even my old colleagues got so charmed by his ways. he also inched his way into my family's heart, especially my mother and 3 kids with my ex-husband. in short, we were very happy together and everyone in our town were expecting us to remarry. he was so sweet and so nice to all people but only had eyes for me (so people said) that people in my town had nothing but praises for him. and then, 8 months later, while he was on vacation with us ( he was working across the sea- one night boat travel), his supposed ex-wife called me up. she was looking for him and said that an office mate of his told her of his whereabouts. she said to me ( he was standing next to me when she called me) that their kids missed their father and when i asked her how could it be if they are separated for how many months, she answered that how could it be when they made love on the night before he traveled, before he came to me. i was so numbed with shock with the reality, with my being so stupid, that i was not able to speak for some time. when i did, all i told her was "don't worry, if ever i will see him, or if he contacts me, i will tell him that you missed him and that you're waiting for him. Dont' worry, i don't want to spend my life with someone who is missed by his kids and wife. good day". it was the most unselfish words i could have told anyone and it hurts like hell. I was looking at him when i was telling that and tears rolled down my face, he was crying too. he was the most sentimental and romantic man i have the pleasure of knowing. sadly, someone owns him and i don't want to infringe on that no matter how much i have come to love him. i now have a new beau but i cannot deny that at times i stop and think about him. i still think of him but i have put him behind me and he's someone that i have used to love. i was hurt by our break up and even if i did not broken up with him, i know i would still be hurt, knowing that someone loves and misses him, someone that he had loved before i even came to the picture.

It's never a good thing to get involved with anyone who's married. It's not a healthy relationship at all. It might seem fun and exciting in the beginning. But what follows after that period of fling, is a series of trouble, jealousy to the extend of hurting innocent parties. I would advise your friend to let go of her relationship with the married man before she sinks any further. Don't allow her to be too naive thinking the man will eventually marry her. I can say, that will never happen. Even if she gets her wish, she will end up in the same state when the very same man will leave her for another woman.

I also have a friend who also have the same situation like this,girl. I asked her one time if she's happy with her situation and all she needs to say is that, she isn't happy with it but she loves this guy, and she cant do anything to change it. Sometimes, you don't need to say anything just to show you cared. Just make sure if time will come that she realizes that its wrong, that you'll still be there to comfort her. Because right now she's still blinded with her feelings.

I agree with almost all of them here. A relationship with a married man having children is a "Strict No-No". A man who can cheat his wife can anytime cheat you as well, just remember this fact. besides you should respect the fact that he is a Father. Ask you friend, would she like her husband to have relationship with other women when they both have children ? besides she can lot of men having deep sense of humour.

i think you just need to talk to your friend, tell her how you feel about her relationship. maybe if you talk to her about it, she may be able to decide, whether she should continue the relationship with this married guy or not.

I don't think there is much you can do. She knows the risks and has decided to do this anyway, so I think there is not really a lot you can do to change her mind. I would just tell her to be careful and to protect her heart, because she is vulnerable.

It's a very complicated relationship. Even though the marriage of the guy is just to portray good example for their kids, but the fact that they are still married and they are in the same house it's still a sin in the eyes of God. For how long will that married man keep their failure marriage to their kids? Does your friend wants to be called the other woman by others who will know about their relationship. She should think of that first before entering in that relationship.

Before doing this, can you really handle that your one of the reason for a family to be broken?... ask your self, and think about it.

She should decide what she really wants in life before she loses both of them.

True friends say what needs to be said even though it might hurt the friend's feelings. This doesn't mean you should go and just say whatever you want, but you should carefully express your concern with your friend. This guy is unfortunately bad news, even if he means well. The very fact that he openly diregards his marriage is not a good sign! If he can't respect the legal boundaries of a promise like marriage, how can he be trusted in any relationship. From the info given, The married man is still living with his wife, they're not even seperated! He claims to be doing this for the good of his children, but the fact that he is messing around anyway, kinda hints that he doesn't care all too much. He may be a good guy who makes her happy, but he is also a bad situation that could break her heart or even ruin her life. In all reality, I'm confident you already know what you need to do and what to say, but you're afraid because it's hard, and it sucks to make friends mad at you. But sometimes, you have to save someone from a fire they can't see even when they want to stay.

That is quite a sticky situation. It comes down to the moral compass and how much she actually believes his story of its a "sham" marriage just being held for the kids and to set an example for them. For all she knows this guy could be lying to her and feeding her a bunch of drivel in the sense that his wife has no idea what is going on and thinks everything is fine. If you have to give your friend advice as to what to do tell them to think of how they would feel if they were married and found out that their spouse was cheating on them. Walk a mile in their shoes to see what it is like