The opposite of teaching ?
By ruperto
@ruperto (1552)
Philippines
September 20, 2010 8:38pm CST
It seems when parent gives all and does everything for a child, the parent is very satisfied. But it seems to a certain limit, a child loses the capability to learn ...
It seems in life, there had been natural adverse situations where a child has no choice but to struggle and learn to survive for self and even for parent ...
So it seems the opposite of teaching one is to pamper one with comfort ...
What do you think ?
1 response
@Suzieqmom (2755)
• United States
21 Sep 10
It depends on the lesson--kids do need to learn to stand on their own two feet, but there are many things they need to be sheltered from, too, especially when they are young. For instance, they need to learn at a very early age never to go anywhere with strangers, but they don't really need to know about all of the horrible things people can do to children, at least until they are old enough to understand it.
Just because parents tend to overprotect their kids nowadays does not necessarily mean they are pampered or spoiled--I think parents need to find a reasonable middle ground. When a child is ready to do something independently, he or she will let you know! Children who feel safe and comfortable develop more self-confidence, and so then develop more of the tools they need to face adversity later in life. That does not mean that a child should be given everything he or she wants, or shouldn't have to do any household chores, or be responsible for his or her own things. But if parents have the means to provide comfort for their children, I think they should. There is more than enough suffering and adversity in the adult world--why push it on a child unnecessarily?
@Suzieqmom (2755)
• United States
21 Sep 10
I agree, and I do think there are some lessons kids have to learn on their own, the hard way, no matter how much parents want to shelter them. No matter how many times I told my two young boys not to jump off the couch, the bed, down the stairs, etc., they wouldn't listen until my younger son broke his foot in two places after jumping off the couch. We also teach them that they can't have everything they want; that if they want a certain toy, for instance, they have to earn and save their own money to buy it. So I think that relates to your point that kids need to know that things don't just come easily, you have to work for things you want.
On the other hand, I don't agree with taking away your kids' dinner just because they won't eat their peas, or embarrassing them in front of their peers, or things like that. Those types of punishments can have life-long psychological consequences. For instance, I made my sons learn how to swim, even though it was hard for them at first, because I think it is important. And I insisted that they had to sit through the whole lesson, even if they were scared to go in. But I didn't belittle them or punish them, either. And now they both know how to swim, and appreciate the fact that working hard at something can produce positive results. And so, I do agree with you that kids should not always be given the "easy way out", and should have to work for things, and your point is a very valid one.
@gemahinayD (8)
• Philippines
24 Sep 10
I guess its Responsibility that is being neglected by parents in teaching their children. one example maybe like this: a parent may teach a child to go to school, wake him or her early in the morning to prepare and that's it.., that's not bad, but its negative effect maybe in a child's mind thoughts like this might arise "the reason why i go to school is because my parents told me to do so". but not learning the reason why he/she should go to school. so parents should learn the ability to teach the children to be accountable enough in what they are doing.. of course parents should still consider the level of understanding that a child has... "learning Responsibility last" .
