Duped, the child was never mine.

It's something hard to go through and the sad part is is that it's pretty common out there. Mothers not knowing the father of their child and although you feel you're suffering, the real victim here is that child because they really don't know better. When I first met my husband, although sudden, one of the first 'what if' questions came up (it's a woman way of testing a guys logic out if you didn't know..so if you hear a question starting with 'what if' thinking about it seriously) I was pretty surprised and relived of the answer. I asked him (new boyfriend at the time), If I was pregnant with another man's child, what would you do? And he answered clear as day, that he would love it like his own. Because if he was there for it from the beginning, blood or not, it would still be HIS child in his mind. So in the end, I married him and of course I gave him 2 children...his blood and all. But you asked if I knew anyone in that situation, I do, and it was my ex boyfriend. The reason I made that comment because I thought I might have been pregnant my this guy (thankfully..I wasn't) but in the time of our relationship when we were finally 'officially' dating as a boyfriend and girlfriend, he admitted to me he had met and slept with one of his ex girlfriends and then broke up with me. Needless to say, I was pissed. Me and him worked together on an internship together with a group of other people so I had to still see him and be on somewhat talking terms with him after that. About a month after that he told me he (well the whole room, not me specifically) was going to be that father and his ex girlfriend (nor current I guess) was the pregnant. I was SO upset at the time that I had called a friend to vent out my aggression and maybe get some advice. My friend was busy and handed me to one of his friends that was there at the time (a person I had never met) and I started talking to him. A year later that person became my husband. SO fast forward to 2 years past and I'm married with a newborn child living in a different state from my ex. I'd recently got onto a computer and somehow (I don't remember how)I had contacted my ex, mostly because he owed my about $500.00 so I was eager to see if he'd pay me back. I had given him my number (with my husbands permission) and one day he had called me. He began to tell me he had entered the military to help support his new family. He didn't marry the girl but had her living with him. When he wanted to put his child on his military medical or something similar, the military required he have a DNA test with the child to make sure it was his. He thought it was his so he agreed and he found out from them that the child wasn't his. When he slept with his ex when we were together, she had ALSO slept with another guy, that same week. So she really didn't know who the father was either. I was shocked (although slightly delighted because of Karma) to hear this and I told him I was sorry it happened to him, but he said he decided to leave and not even contact the child again. That sounded like him because he didn't care about much when we were together. I didn't exactly know what he wanted from telling me this so I made sure to let him know I was happily married with a child of my own now and we said our goodbyes and didn't keep in contact much. Through myspace though I've seen that he's finally had a baby and I messaged him asking..."is this one really yours" and he said yes so hopefully he learned his lesson from the last time. Personally, I think you should keep in the child's life and either her father, or a close uncle. If you don't love the mother, it's fine, but like you said, it wasn't the child's fault that all this happened and if you were with her for years, you need to continue to be there for her to ensure her future relationships with men. Any child needs a supportive, positive male figure in their life. Those goes for both boys and girls. Boys need someone to relate to them and show them the ways of men, girls need one because woman tend to date someone who reminds them of their father because their father is supposed to be a trusted man in their life. I hope everything goes good with you and that child.

Who was this Woman friend of "Amy" you met at the party that opened up the can of worms for You? And how did She know the truth about the Child's Parentage? Did you discover how widespread the knowledge was of this at any time? On the bright side,You may not have been the Child's Father,but at least She has a "Dad" in You...

Sorry to hear this :( I've never heard of anyone going through this. Perhaps your ex really wanted you to be the child's father and the one who got her pregnant could be a bad guy.

I am very very very sorry to hear that.... if I were the mother I would never EVER mislead any man to believe my child is his when in fact it isn't...that's just so cruel. I'm sorry but I do believe in karma, and let's just wait and see what's gonna be hers. I'm proud of you that you've been a good father to the child and you're still making the effort to keep in touch. The child never did anything wrong, blameless, so the child should not be involved in this problem as much as possible. GOSH I hate your ex..!

Hi Ronan! i admire you for being a responsible father when you knew that you had a child with your ex-girlfriend. Unfortunately you found out that the child was not yours. Well, what really was the reason why you live with them? Do you still love your ex or it was for the sake of the child whom you took as your child at that time. I am sure the three of you also enjoyed each other and were a happy family at that time. The only wrong i see in that situation was you were deceived by you girlfriend. How about the poor child? She would feel neglected by her father. I think you have to continue keeping in touch with her. I also suggest that you analyze your feelings towards your ex. Who knows you can forgive her and be together again.

I am sorry to hear that.But i have not experienced such unlucky things.So it is irresponsible for me to say that i can know about your feeling on this .No matter how the women lay to you ,you did regarded the girl as your daughter.She thought so too .Maybe it is the only thing you could gain from it .

well, as you had discovered yours is not an isolated case. you have done a good deed - that is to be a father to a fatherless baby for quite some time. but i think it is enough. now that you had discovered you were not the father, you do not have any obligation to the child anymore. and you dont have to be guilty about it. it is such a sad experience. to be fooled is way more than being taken advantage of. it is betrayal. i hope time will heal the wound it had on you. there is a consolation after all - you were a good father and you were able to be good to the mother despite what happened. good luck!

Yeah so there is someone I know that this may have happened to but since the years have gone by and the child knows no one else but their father theres no point on a DNA test now.... My husband's brother got with this girl started living with her snd after maybe 1-2 years got her pregnant. There was rumors that went he went out of the country for a couple of weeks that she slept with someone else. He never questioned her to the point where he wanted a DNA test b/c it never happened but when the baby was born it looked just like the mom so you couldn't really tell if the baby looked like the dad at all b/c he looked exactly like his mom. Everyone told him when the babay was a baby that he wasn't the dad but I guess since he thought their relationship was working or going to work he stuck by her and kept the child as his own....8 years later the kid still does not look like him at all and is more obvious that he has no features of anyone in the family! But then again he looks like his moms side of the family so who knows for sure but I've always felt it wasn't his kid. Him and the Mom are now broken up and the kids lives whith his Dad b/c the mom gave him up b/c she couldn't handle a new relationship and new baby I guess. Which is dumb b/c during her recent pregnantcy I heard that she slept with her ex (my husbands brother) and sfter a couple of weeks she found out she was pregnant and they decided to keep it their secret and if he ws the dad I guess she would just say it waas the new guys dad (her husband now)these people are so dumb I can't stand it! I guess now that the baby is born it looks just like her now husband so he is the dad and not my brother in law but still! People need to quit having $ex with all these people and it would avoid a lot of stress and heart ache for themselves and their children! At least you found out the truth and can move on with your life. It's very nice to hear that you're still k.i.t with the little girl b/c it's not her fault she's so innocent in this situation. My heart always goes out to the children :(

Very sorry to hear your story. This hasn't happened to me or anyone I know, but it sounds just like a story from a novel or a drama, and if this is real, I'm still shocked. It's really a very complicated situation of your relationship with the child. You can't just left her but you also can't live with her like a father... what a dilemma !

Sorry that you had to go through that. You must be a really great guy too to get back together with her and try to work things out, only to find that she tricked you. I can't say that I heard of anyone else this has happened to, except maybe in one of those daytime soaps on television. She must be some number! That is a terrible thing for her to do, not just to you but to her own child as well. I feel sorry for her child it sounds as if the poor child will have a lifetime of grief with a mother like that. I do hope that your ex feels regret for her actions and learns from it and grows up some for her daughter's sake.

That must be heart-breaking :/ Why would she do such a thing to you? It must of been hard and Im glad I can say I have never been in that situation :/ Sorry again.

That is a very difficult situation to go through. Im really sorry that it happened to you and it is really sad that things like this happen so often now days people aren't honest with each other and I think that people need to take a step back and re-evaluate where their morals stand. Some decisions people make I don't know how they can live with.