How to make her feel that I am loyal?

Hi krupesh. I can share with you the same situation here with my husband. I've know him to have lots of girlfriends. Don't get me wrong but he is really friendly as he said to mostly girls. After we got married i think i had a trauma with the past, i always think about the worries of life. What if he flirts or talks to some friends and i get upset to the point that i always talk and question him about his past. One advise i can give you right now is to talk to your better half and ask her what she really wants, anything for the better for you to do to forget your past flings. Be honest with her and assure her every single day that past is past and that she can trust you 100%. Action is always better than words.

It is very difficult to clean your image once it is maligned. I am going through similar phase.I have been cheated on by my husband twice and now i do not trust him at all.Whatever he speaks and tells appears lie to me.I do not have faith on him.Sometimes i feel guilty but my mind does not allow me to have positive approach towards him. Time is a great healer.Your wife will by the passage of time understand that you only love her.It is just a matter of feeling and once she starts having this feeling then there is no stopping.Now it is up to you to win her confidence back.

It is really difficult to erase your past image. What you will do is bring her often when she is available, and of course with your kids. Introduce her to your circle of friends. After office hour, you have to be home for her to feel that the family is more important than friends out there. You have to prove that your family is more important, so your presence at home and with her will testify that you are now loyal to her and the family.

Her jealously is natural. She feels that you are so attractive and charming that you must be that attractive to all females. Thats how i felt about my 1st husband anyway. Its was actually my jealously that ended the marriage. Only time can ease her insecurity. I understand your concerns about fighting in front of the kids. Ask her when you two are taking nicely not to do that. Or when she starts to fight in front of them suggest that you discuss it in another room. If your in ameeting or with a client you need to tell her so and that you will get back with her after. Turn your phone off if necessary. Im really quite surprized that she is still so jealous after being married long enough to have kids. I would have thought that she would know you better by then. You just need to keep reasurring her.

trust is a big issue with all relationships it can make them or break them.. i had alot of bad things happen to me in the past to make me not trust anyone including my husband who has never cheated on me ever.. but i still have the insecurities sometime from the past the haunt me making me feel un worthy of his love and thinking he too will find someone to replace me.. have you talked to her about her past to see if anyone ever hurt her or caused her to build a wall around her heart. i know i still struggle with that today.. but we are both learning to trust.. i have re connected with my 1st daughters dad and we are great freinds and yes im still married and my husband understand why its important for me to have a working relationship with my ex.the father of my oldest daughter.. and i had to learn to trust him which was hard.. he has a cousin that i was always jealous of becasue he loved spending time with her becasue they played togehter as kids and teenagers and are very close.. so now she has came back into his life and i have to be able to let him be with his cousin and go places like truck pulls and things that they both enjoy my husband and i dont have alot in common and his cousin and him like the same things so they go out and have fun togehter and i dont mind.. and i go out with my daughter and her dad and we do family things togheter.. and it all works out.. becasue we both have to trust and we both have been honest and talked out the issues and my husband knows how much i truely love him and i known he feels the same way.. so i would say communation in a relationship is as important as trust talk to each other and be totaly honest.. good luck

You know, according to what you've said, there's really nothing wrong with you. You've done so much to prove your love for her. Maybe she's just too paranoid for thinking too much negative about you (no offense with your wife). For me, past is past. What's important is what you both have today and for the future. Maybe your thinking I'm not being realistic for what I've just said, but I AM. I've been in your wife's shoes. My boyfriend told me everything about his past and that's what bonds us much stronger. In fact, I'm too overwhelmed for the honesty that he have shown to me. Telling the truth is not that easy especially if it's something negative about one's past. I didn't judge my boyfriend basing his past coz who am I to judge him? We, ALL are NOT PERFECT so we don't have the right to judge a person base on his/her past. I even accepted him more for who he really is. From the moment he told me everything about his past, I hugged him so tightly, thanking for the honesty he've shown to me. Honesty is the first, biggest sign on how a person is truely loyal for the one he/she loves. CONGRATULATIONS for being an honest person! Honest persons are rarely seen nowadays. Your wife should be thankful of that. Anyway, I know you've been in your hardest time now with your wife but don't give up. Give her some time coz maybe she wasn't ready yet for what you've told her about your past. Let time heal the wound, and I know one day she'll believe in your loyalty and your love for her. ^_^

Were you cheating on her whe you had those affairs and flings or were you with these women before you were met your wife or were with your wife? If you were not yet with her then she has no right to judge what you did in the past. If you cheated with those other woman while you were a couple then you have a lot of work cut out for you. With out knowing if you cheated on her or not I can not really advise properly. If all of that was before he then you need to sit down and have a talk to her about her jealousy issues and this is her problem to work out. You need to tell her that the reason you were with those woman is because you had never been in love before. Once you fell in love with her you no longer wanted any other women, you found what you want and you don't need anything else because you have everything already. Then say that you are no longer going to put up with the jealous behavior any more because you have done nothin wrong and love only her. If you cheated on her before you got married it will take more to convince her. Tell her you take your wedding vowels very seriously and that you made those vows before God and you would not have married her if you did not feel that you could be faithful to her. That were childish before and you have grown up now and you are a stand up husband and father. You are very sorry for what you did in the past and you can't go back and change it and all you do is be a good and faithful husband from this day forward. If the jealous behavior continues there is no shame in going to see a marriage counselor who can help both of you work out your feelings. Marriage takes work sometimes you need help doing the work. I highly recommend seeing a counselor to help you guys through your problems. Get a baby sitter for the kids and go and work on your marriage.

All this is being caused by her insecurity. You can only do so much, never take her for granted, never forget to praise her and state your love often. But she must grow in self cofindence and learn that she has great worth just by herself that way time will help her feel she can trust you.

Talk to her with all your sincerity and as a wife he must trust you. If still she don't believe you talk to someone very close to her to explain everything and that let her feel sometimes you're getting upset of her immaturity.

To change her feelings is something she can only do.. but what you can help with this to communicate to her so she can understand you. It can be difficult if you feel accused but someone needs to put down the defense and accept one another. You're going to have to accept that she has a jealously problem... but still communicate her love so her confidence in you can grow. Best luck.

dont think that this feelings can be given to anyone. These feeling just develop themselves over a period of time due to various small events....

Keep the lines of communication open all the time. She is feeling very insecure at the moment. You weren't loyal in the past, why should she now believe you will be to her? This is her line of thinking, it will take time but you will prove yourself to her eventually. Tell her you love her every day, without fail. Make her feel special, like a precious jewel, she deserves it!

to make her feel that you are loyal is that let her feel that she is so special and dont lie as much as possible.

if i were you i would have a long talk with her about it, and find out every detail about the issue, and maybe even try to see what SHE wants you to fix, this is a personal problem, and issues like this are different in every relationship

Well if you said you already stop what you are doing before then that's it. It is her problem now that she is living in the past. And its hard to build up a trust once you break it, you cannot blame her for feeling that way. However, I hope she will spend her life on more valuable things, rather worrying and always checking on you because it is boring and it only makes her feel paranoid.She should try to build a trust to you again, but its hard I tell you. Just pray for her, for she will trust you again.

In my experience the only thing that will convince a partner to trust me is time and experience that I will stay honest and true. I tend to flirt, but I don't mean anything by it at all, and my wife knows that I do this, and it doesn't go any further than just flirting. Flirting is part of my nature and with those who flirt back I can't help but do it.. I do not, flirt with those people who don't like it though as I respect everybody's wishes. But at the end of the day, I love my wife and will do nothing to jeopardize my marriage. I guess the truth is, that only time will let your partner know that you are loyal, through her experience of being with you. I tell my wife (who was once just my girlfriend, that I would never expect her to change, and I appreciate the same trust in return. I told her from the outset that I flirt but that it's totally innocent, so she has nothing to worry about, and she just tends to smile and laugh anyway, when I do flirt. _Derek

krupesh, Trust indeed is a very delicate thing, once it is being broken - it will be like a broken vase shattered and irreparable. Every aspects of our life is like an interlocking system, connected by all the intriguing gears. A slight tweak in one gear will result in a complete change in the monstrous engine of life and everything else will effectively reposition itself. Learn to understand first. I think there are many things about her that you don't really know. Seek them, then make the effort and time to have a heart to heart talk with her to reassure her of your undying commitment to this marriage and devotion to her. Look for holistic recovery (albeit with scars) and possibly to avoid a karmic cycle of distorted values in love that would continuously create wounds that bleeds your marriage and you profusely. I would seriously encourage the both of you to seek marriage and family counseling. You just never know how much these well trained professionals could help with your current problem. Do remember, the last thing you ever need is to introduce or adopt habits/decision that will create more misery in both your lives. Take care and have a nice day.

Well, based on your message, she knows your past that much, You can't blame her to have such feeling of insecurity. But I think you have to discuss it with her heart to heart. Assure her that despite of having those flings, it is she that you chose to marry and now that you have kids, it could be your proof that you're hers. Just be patient and continue do things that could make her at peace. Good luck.

see just trust her and she will trust you...actual meaning is what you have done in the past making her sick and she is feeling very protatcive & aggresive for you, she dont want to reapet such kind of things in future thats why she is keeping state and stick attitude towards yoursel, however dont you need to worry always respond her calls and try to stay calm even at the meeting or any major place where you were not expecting the call becasue you have to understand what she is going through you simply cannot even suffer even 1% of this if she will do the same as you did to her in past....stay calm stay cool love her alot