Starting with the basics
By turist1
@turist1 (175)
Bulgaria
September 23, 2010 3:10am CST
First round of the advices, that are basic for every relation, long or new. (Work also for married couples)
The 5 rules are easy to follow and everybody here knows it, but usually ignores.
1. Always give a second chance. We're humans after all, it is normal to make mistakes.
2. Don't give a third chance. May be this person doesn’t care about you since he/she is making the same mistake again.
3. (Personal experience) Men do not like to talk (the way we women do). Especially for things we( girls)think are serious topics. Therefore when you need to talk to your partner, avoid too adverbially explanations. Be brief and clear
4. Painful jealousy is like a poison. The more you use it, the more you kill your relation. I'll talk more about this in some other discussion.
5. Personal freedom is important. And it can be felt in longer relationships (longer than 8 months). Every woman / every man needs a conversation with people of same gender. This helps to strengthen the relationship between you and your partner. So do not be mad when your man goes out to meet the guys or your girl likes to chat for hours with her best friend. Leave them alone and find another thing to do:go out with other friends or go shopping( which I do).
I know you're familiar with these rules, but let's faced it, how many of us follow them.
Feel free to comment.
See ya!!!
3 responses
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
23 Sep 10
I don't really agree with any of them but number 5.
Sometimes person or issue really isn't deserving of a second chance. For those that are, they are not going to instantly change and will probably require several chances to get it right. Not all men are allergic to frank discussions. Most mature, adult men have no problem with open communication, however many women are given to nagging and rambling so it's a better suggestion to simply be mutually open and honest.
Number 4 I just don't really understand what you mean.
@turist1 (175)
• Bulgaria
24 Sep 10
Everybody deserves second chance. The question is can you forgive enough, to give that second chance.
I agree with you about the communication with mature men, but you have to agree with me too that there are a lot of guys that just don't want to talk about, for exaple, their work day or class reunion. Then the girls start making faces and get grumpy. The advice I gave is for all the girls that think their boyfriends does not want to communicate.
Jealousy is a problem in all the relationship. Even mine. I confess, It's my biggest issue. When I said "painful jealousy" I mean jealousy that makes you follow around your boyfriend/girlfriend, checking his/hers mails and cellphone. People like that ruin their relationships and their health.
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
24 Sep 10
I don't believe everyone deserves a second chance, I've met several people who do not.
No, I do not agree with you. Men who refuse to communicate are immature and more likely to be dishonest. I do not think that is okay at all and that is not the type a person you should have a serious relationship with.
Yes, I do agree that there are people who obsess over the actions of their partner, and that is just wrong. If you cannot trust your partner, then you probable shouldn't be in a relationship with them. Again, communication.
@misheli (552)
• Philippines
23 Sep 10
I already gave the second chance to my husband. I know there's no perfect marriage and its normal to commit mistakes and if you love the person it's not hard to forgive and forget. I'm not really a jealous type of person and I let my husband go wherever he wants to as long as I know the person he is with.
@Ramaditya (1227)
• Indonesia
23 Sep 10
I agree with point number 3. Perhaps as a man I can tell why.
This statement has scientific evidence, and I will provide with PowerPoint presentation if need be.
Men's brain can only allow the owner to talk, both with body language and mouth, as many as 7.000 words per day, 9.000 maximum. Women can talk as many as 20.000 words per day, and 25.000 maximum.
That's the reason why men could not talk a lot, and women will be in pain if they do not release all those supplies.
So, it's good for women to be clear and brief, and it's god for men to be a good and patient listener.
