Do you frankly express you opinion at all times...?
By chayapathys
@chayapathys (2111)
India
September 23, 2010 5:18am CST
In my younger days I used to frankly express my opinion at all times without caring for the consequences.I gradually realized by frankly expressing my opinion I created more enemies than friends.On day one of my well wishers advised me not to be so bold. "What do you loose if you simply agree with them outwardly.You can have your own opinion in your actions. Who can prevent you" I slowly realized that what he said was correct.In your action you are the master many times but sometimes you have to follow others mostly in office and not always.You need not kill your conscience. Now a days I do not freely and frankly express my opinion to others. I have also learnt to be diplomatic which now pays me and I also feel comfortable. What about you...?
6 people like this
26 responses
@Graceekwenx (3160)
• Philippines
23 Sep 10
I used to frankly express my opinion at all times. I realized back then that i had been immature and that i had been insensitive and tactless to others. The point is... everyone has different views and opinions, i guess the ingredients of diplomacy is delivery, patience and keen listening skills. There are two opportunities though for you to frankly express your opinion; one is mylot; and two is... tadah! when your boss sincerely asks you, "what do you think?" Take note, i said "boss" and not your friend or family. When it comes to business, you have to be critical and each criticism should be dealt in constructively. If your valuable opinion is unserved, then your business might loose a client.
2 people like this
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
24 Sep 10
When I say..frankly expressing your opinion I did not consider Mylot.It is a forum for discussion only where you have every liberty to express frankly your opinion. I am concerned with day to day life when you have to express your opinion or sometimes called upon to express your opinion.My times we cannot be frank with our boss. He is asking your opinion to find out your sincerity in following his orders.If you express your opinion different from his,even though asked, it may not be always in your interest..caution is the best friend.
2 people like this
@Graceekwenx (3160)
• Philippines
24 Sep 10
Chaya. there is this book that ive read about Marriott Hotels and how they were able to thrive and is consistently among the Fortune companies. One of the best traits of a good boss is keen listening skills and the ability to ask, "what do you think?" If he doesnt listen to your opinion, he aint a good listener. Whats his point of asking you if he aint listening either way; either he is stupid or just wasting time and talent.
1 person likes this
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
25 Sep 10
I agree that a successful boss should listen to whatever opinion is expressed.Otherwise how can he take the business forward?That is so far as boss in business or office is concerned. I am concerned about the private life in which do you always frankly express your opinion which may some times may hurt others...
1 person likes this
@getbiswa2000 (5544)
• India
23 Sep 10
Hello,
First of all, I don't think one has to be rude in order to be frank. But there are times when people behave crazy and you have to be rude in order to save yourself from imminent disaster. It is the cost that one has to pay for being stupid and adamant. So we really don't have to remorse on that. Secondly, opinions should be put forward in a gentle, socially acceptable way. When we try to impose our opinions on others, it becomes a socially unacceptable behavior. Sometimes being diplomatic helps you to avoid embarrassments. Sometimes being frank becomes more than a necessity. People need to adhere to some common social protocols and everything will be all right. Thanks.
God bless you.
2 people like this
@getbiswa2000 (5544)
• India
24 Sep 10
Okay. You can't impose something that is already imposed by society. As a social being your spouse or your children should adhere to it. You play no role in imposing it but you can have crucial contribution to uphold sufficient reasons to them for adapting these protocols. This will only make them more enthusiastic in following the rule rather than opposing it or being cynical to it.
1 person likes this
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
25 Sep 10
Do you mean to say that you should contribute to uphold reasons for adopting protocols. Here we are concerned with frankly expressing our opinion only...
1 person likes this
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
24 Sep 10
As you suggested you need not be rude in expressing your frank opinion. I agree that only stupid people are adamant.When you are rude surely you are not sociable and acceptable.Can you impose your opinion on your spouse or children let alone others.You suggested that people should adhere to some common social protocol.Is it possible and workable proposition..
2 people like this
@Professor2010 (20162)
• India
23 Sep 10
Yes chaya I always express my opinion frankly always, it is my habit since childhood, i acquired this from my late father, i have been branded as a bad man some times because of such , but i never cared for that!!
In the long run people have realized what i am?
Thanks for sharing.
Welcome always, cheers.
Professor. .
2 people like this
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
24 Sep 10
It is a good trait you have inherited and as you say it takes longtime for people to understand.OK. Further you are a professor as your name indicates.For you it is alright since your job has no much interaction with public.That way you are lucky. In public life it is always better to be diplomatic as I observed.
1 person likes this
@lilmisfit23 (386)
• Philippines
23 Sep 10
I'm the type of person that think things thoroughly before speaking anything especially in situations where I might offend someone. I don't want to say something that I will later take back or I will later regret.
2 people like this
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
24 Sep 10
You have the correct attitude.But I wonder as to how many times you have that much time and composure...
1 person likes this
@make_it_real (76)
•
23 Sep 10
In my part, I used to only keep myself shut with the times i even have to participate with something or express myself at my younger age. But later on I gradually learned to express myself in a way i wouldn't have to be an arrogant or passing by other people around. Now, i keep expressing myself in a way i think i am free and fair to others to do that. We should be aware and considerate most of the times in expressing ourselves for we couldn't create any complicated situations especially in times there are some people involved who are not that open minded for them to accept the facts from your side.
2 people like this
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
24 Sep 10
Depending upon situation we should act. We can feel the pulse of others whether they are frank and open minded.If you are confident that the others would take your opinion in the right spirit you can express your opinion other wise it is not always desirable to express our opinion frankly.Experience will teach..
2 people like this
@noman650 (5)
•
23 Sep 10
in my opinion we should some times speak frankly ...as i think its better to be straight forward then rather diplomatic ... but you are rite some times in life we have to become diplomatic to control the situation... and i agree with you that diplomacy really pays a lot & especially in the current era...
1 person likes this
@kingsizewe (544)
• Bulgaria
30 Sep 10
Depends on the person who I am answering to. In most cases I will response frankly, but If I want this persons with whose I am talking doesn't know real true, I will give him/her the convenient true, which he deserves or which is better for me/hem to know by my words.
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
30 Sep 10
You are right.WE should diplomatic in our dealing with others.We cannot be frank at all times. Some do not relish or accept truth.Depending upon the situation we speak and we should also be tactful...
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
24 Sep 10
It is good that you express your opinion frankly but not always as I experienced.As I said expressing frankly my opinion I created more enemies than friends which I realized in course of time.Have your own opinion but overcome the situation in a diplomatic way...
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Sep 10
There are two kinds of people: those who value the opinions of others and allow them to be expressed even though they do not agree with them and those who want everyone to agree with them and bad mouth those who do not. So you have to consider that.
So I would express my opinion but be as nice as possible in doing so.
Of course, that does not work in all cases. Even nice gets you in trouble. I found it out and people take things out of context. I am a little depressed now.
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
25 Sep 10
Why get depressed . Be as you are and politely express your opinion if you were to disagree.Otherwise keep mum.Do not bother about others. Your self is your priority...
@derek_a (10874)
•
24 Sep 10
I don't express my opinion if I know it is going to upset others, but otherwise I will. Not all people have the same opinions, but I find it intersting to learn of the opinions of others and how they came to have those opinions. We are all so different, and I believe, that is what make the world such a wonderfully intersting place to live in. 
_Derek
_Derek@chayapathys (2111)
• India
24 Sep 10
What you are doing is correct.Learn from others.Why express opinion and hurt others.As you said no two people can have the same opinion.
@jnorton47 (49)
• United States
24 Sep 10
I mostly keep my opinions to myself. I will not agree with someone just to get along, But I will not argue ether. I refuse to discuss issue as religion or politics. People just get too up tight about those subjects and it's just not worth the trouble. Generally I agree with Dirty Harry: "Opinions are like A.. Holes, everybody has one."
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
25 Sep 10
You appear to have good approach to the subject.One way you are right as to why should you agree only get on with others.. better to keep mum. I also do not discuss religion and politics and people very quickly get upset if we do not go along with.I do not know about Dirty Harry...
@RachelleNH (1396)
• United States
24 Sep 10
that's me..the big mouth also..
sometimes I have caught myself speaking out before really thinking. I've gotten better in the past few years..it does pay! I agree totally! You just never know how someone else might take those words-even if you never meant them that way.@chayapathys (2111)
• India
25 Sep 10
That is the trouble.We cannot read what is in the mind of others.Some time we unknowingly hurt others when we express our opinion.Wisdom is the better part of valor.
@BrittneeD (350)
• United States
24 Sep 10
I tend to frankly express my opinion or be very blunt a lot of the time I try my best to consider others feelings but that doesn't always get the best of me I would rather say what I really feel.
1 person likes this
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
24 Sep 10
No doubt you should consider feeling of others but that does not mean you should change yourself.It is good to express own opinion to show our identity and at the same time we should not hurt others.
@mastermindskt (1050)
• Pakistan
23 Sep 10
i am not frank and i think before when i say or do something.i give my opinion when some one asked from me.
1 person likes this
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
24 Sep 10
When some one asks you for your opinion even then can you express it frankly when it hurts other person.By expressing my opinion frankly I made many enemies from out of my friends.That is the problem here.
2 people like this
@deliawas (54)
• United States
23 Sep 10
I am a firm believer in being as open minded as possible, which in turn has made me very hesitant to speak my mind in the work place. A lot of times when I have an opinion I've weighed all options and tried to think on both sides and then I will only state my opinion if I feel like it will not cause too much controversy. I personally am a very open minded individual who believes everyone has the right to be who they are and feel how they choose, however I have found when your opinion is not the "popular" opinion people tend to want to argue you into believing what they believe, those same people tend to me close minded though.
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
30 Sep 10
Yes you are correct.We should also gracefully accept other's opinion.At the same time we should not be adament.Act tactfully is my advice.
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
24 Sep 10
What you are doing is correct way.Thinking about pros and cons of anything and telling your opinion when it does not cause much controversy.I appreciate you are open minded. but not many are like you..When your opinion is not the popular opinion.. why create a controvesy..better to keep mum
@androgr (31)
• Italy
23 Sep 10
Honestly i can say that i often used to frankly express my opinion, obiusvly with the right words. Probably the consequences will not so nice in every case, but i think that a sincere persone deserves esteem, moreover i don't think that you have more enemies than frinedly, probably is only a your impression.
Have a nice day
1 person likes this
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
24 Sep 10
You have correctly understood the spirit of the discussion. Many times our frank expression of opinion is misunderstood by others and may lead undesirable consequences.You know that those who represent our country in foreign countries are called diplomats. They may have their own personal opinion and they are not supposed to express the same in a foreign country.That is diplomacy.
1 person likes this
@JudgeIronFist (2472)
• Singapore
24 Sep 10
Nope I don't. It's good to be straightforward but not too much. As what you said, you'll bring in more enemies than friends. I only express my heartfelt opinions only when I feel the the time is right.
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
24 Sep 10
What you said is correct.Why should we hurt others.It is always better to say only when called upon and at the right time and not necessarily at every time.
@kukueye (1759)
• Malaysia
24 Sep 10
I used to , but now prefer to shut my mouth and mind my own business , since i relish being honest does not necessary bring business and sometime exercise in wrong place at the wrong time invite more problems and trouble to me. Express opinion is not necessary license to be stupid or disrespect to people also. I think exercise wisdom in giving out opinion is better.
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
24 Sep 10
you are right. Exercise wisdom and express opinion.That is only good way you live happily at all times...
@aarpees (149)
•
24 Sep 10
Being frank has its pros and cons. But, it is very important to keep in mind that if a need calls for it, when nobody can actually speak out and tell what's on their mind, and it is very crucial for you to say it, you have to be frank at times. You have to be confident of your thoughts, you have to be confident of yourself that you know you are right. If everyone becomes submissive, progress is at stake. Saying things that you think should be told is important for you to grow as a person, and help others grow too. But you have your conscience that will help you choose when and how to say it.:)
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
24 Sep 10
Expressing frank opinion has its own pros and cons Many times we are mistaken for expressing frank opinion.At the same we should have independent views and opinions on any subject. You should be tactful and exercise wisdom.wisdom is better than valor
@jypsyjulia (912)
• United States
24 Sep 10
Eh, not so much. I mean, if someone asks for my opinion, they're going to get it, unaltered and not sugar coated, haha. But generally, unless the needs truly calls for it or something, I'm not going to give my opinion. I'm finding it's better to keep things to yourself, haha! But sometimes, if it's absolutely necessary, like an advice thing or something, I will say something.
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
24 Sep 10
you are very diplomatic indeed.It pays also many times.As you said why express opinion unless asked for. you can always advise others whether they follow your advice or not. But expressing opinion is different.if agreed ,Ok . otherwise better to keep mum.
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
24 Sep 10
Wisdom is better part of the valor.Why hurt others?. better to keep mum.
@ashutoshs8 (373)
• India
24 Sep 10
it depends upon the situation but sometimes i normally respond to every discussion if i knew anything about the topic. I normally give my opinions very freely as i like to give it.
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
24 Sep 10
It always depends upon each situation.We need not guess and say something.It is not correct. When you are sure you can say something but tactfully.
