guys please need help translating :( im very sad :( tagalog please

I mean to help you on this but I hope you won't get offended by its content, here goes: wow.,.lupet ng linya pare (wow, man, what a line!).,.,parang kinokonxenxa agad ung taong knyang kinainlove an (his guilty on the person he loved) .,.nyahahah.,.,payo lng,. kng gusto muh xa tlga.,,kuha ka shotgun isama muh c epats (laugh....my advise, if you like this person, get a shotgun take your dad with you).,.,tu2kan muh tnungin muh kng gus2 ka nya pakasalan.,(put it in her head and ask if he wants to marry you) kpg oo cnabi.,.kasal agad.,.db.,.,hahahahaha (if she answers yes, then go and wed her! laugh)

Didn't i tell you to leave that guy? He is playing with you, sweetie. This is not the first time that this has happened, is it? Either you start learning tagalog or you just stay away from him, okay. TATA.

Can you tell me, which language it is????

Hi dear, I am not sure whether you got the meaning of the same. However, I asked one of my myLot friend and she translated for you and it reads as it is: “In simple English words, the sentence means.. "the speaker is advising to take the dad of whoever he is talking with (the one he's telling this sentence) and go to the one he loves, bring shotgun and point it to the one he/she loves and ask for marriage.." Most of the words are "guys language", I'm a girl so I don't usually use some of those words. :) It seems to be a men's conversation...:” As the context you know better, now you can think what it could be. As Saturday & Sunday got holiday, I could not come to you in time. Regards, Thank-s

Wow its very hard to translate I think. you have love life problems?