which VALUES are the children of this generation missing?

Hi Patgalca! you just made me appreciate my parents more :) years back, i remember my parents were like you specially my dad. i was always mad at him for wanting to talk to my friends or their parents before he allows me to attend activities. i felt i was always embarrassed when he does that. it has been like that until i graduated college. but look at me now. unlike how others grew up to be (no judgment, just sharing my thoughts and experiences), i found myself a good job because i wasn't out of school because of teen pregnancy or because i've grown a drunkard or an irresponsible party-goer.i've been in Catholic schools and universities all my studying years and it made a big impact on me too. all due credit to my parents' upbringing. BUT there were also negative effects on me,well more on my sister not much for me.i will have her as an example. her social growth was compromised because all she had to do was go to school then go home after,every day. although she has a lot of talents, she hasn't grabbed too much opportunity to develop them because she wasn't allowed to. to my strict parents, engaging in activities as such would expose my sister indirectly to a lot of things and MIGHT not be good for her. as i see her, she lacks confidence and perseverance because she knows my parents are always here to back her up.she just needs to follow them, all the time with everything. as for me, i'm somewhat thankful for being the stubborn kid that i was. i learned a lot of things from the mistakes i had. have i not explored outside the box they confined us in, i wouldn't be able to be the woman i've grown now. well i'm still in the process of learning. and i greatly appreciate an insight from a mom like you :) i guess respect should come from both parties dealing with each other. i remember my mom telling me that even at her age, she is amazed at how much she is still learning from my ways and my opinions. :)

I guess we really should look at the other side of the coin. My parents raised five children. Five very different children. I believe they raised us all the same (though hard for me to tell being the youngest and far apart in age) so what be the cause then? Differently personalities? I remember my mother lamenting once about the teenager my sister was (the middle child). I told her it wasn't her fault. She raised all of us the same way. And to bring that full circle, my sister had an issue about being the middle child. She has 3 children and she was so afraid that her middle child would feel the same way that she turned the tables and favours the middle child over her other two children. It's not just what I see, either, because her youngest daughter has talked to me about it. We can't blame everything on our parents. We have to take responsibility for our own actions. If our parents are responsible for some flaw in our personalities then it is up to us to stand up and choose to put it behind us and be the best we can be.

i had mixed reactions while reading your comment. made me raise my eyebrow when he says "end of conversation" and even hit you at times. is that really a 6-year-old kid??? then i was laughing when you tell him you'll leave him in the mall with a straight look and you are not kidding. anyway, it sounds a bit harsh to me but i think such kid would have the same treatment like you had with him from me. however i don't know which is right: tolerate the kid or talk to him nicely for the sake of him not making a scene (crying, throwing really bad tantrums or hitting you), thinking he would stop but worse he doesn't OR be a bit harsh and like you said put him in his proper place so he will stop? both can have effects in years on the kid as he grows. i'm not yet a parent and now im thinking, this can be really hard...

You cannot just cannot tolerate it and grin and bear it. I know he is just a kid but he has to know where his limitations are. Sometimes, kids needs an ultimatum. You can't let his misbehaving pass all the time just because he is 6. I do not believe in such.We should even teach him now, while they are kids. When will we teach them? when they turn 16? when they will not follow you anymore? oh, about 30? When they will just raise their brows on you and shrug their shoulders and say YEAH! WHATEVER!! My older sis just lets him be, which I really dislike. They should tame their own kid or they will be the talk of the town. People will say " they do not discipline their own kid." a kid's behavior reflects the kind of parenting his parents are giving him. If he misbehaves and answers back especially in public places, people will have a hint that the kid's parents are no good!

My daughters' friends all have laptops and computers and video games, televisions in their bedrooms, etc. etc. etc. Though my kids have complained that "everybody does", they have also called their friends spoiled and selfish. Granted we haven't had much money because I was unable to go back to work 14 years ago, but even if I had the money I would not put a television in my kids' bedroom. I have heard parents say they want to give their kids the stuff they didn't have as kids. Bad move.

wow, that's really not nice. if i'm the parent i would feel hurt hearing mu child say that. it's as if nothing was done to make her day special. another value missed: APPRECIATION even for the littlest things done for us, and CONTENT of what we have. we should find joy in simple things too

i think they (or we) are much preoccupied with a lot of things that they (we) think they know a lot. well admittedly i can be like that at times but whenever it happens, i have to stop and think that not all my opinions are in sync with the others so i have to hear what they, especially my elders have to say. and after all my rant has been expressed, i find myself feeling bad because i knew all along they were right and i was just too stubborn to listen. worse, i forgot about respecting them. i just got a point less of a good child.