Suspected down syndrome baby...
By yspmyl
@yspmyl (3435)
Malaysia
September 25, 2010 6:36am CST
This is really a bad news, my good friend went for a pregnancy check up today, the doctor scan her stomach with the ultrasound and found that the fetus having tick neck and suspected is a down syndrome baby.thing ...that really shock her and make her into difficult situation, the fetus is 13 weeks old now...the doctor cannot confirm that the fetus is 100% a down syndrome but will need to do a amnion test on the 16 weeks. So they do not what to do now, either to continue or terminate the baby...this is really a sad news for both of them and also to me.
They have to make a tough decision......
What will you do if you know that your baby is a down syndrome baby, will you just continue or terminate it?
3 people like this
10 responses
@ShepherdSpy (8544)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
25 Sep 10
That must be the toughest call any parents to be have to decide on..I don't have family myself,and strangely have just responded to a discussion by someone interested in genetic research claiming to be able to "Fix" aging and other genetic issues..then I saw this one...As a theoretical exercise,it's interesting to postulate on what may come of genetic research,but your Friends have the reality to deal with,here and now.With the anonymity of the Internet,I could simply throw out an opinion call on this and walk away..I don't know your friends,their religous beliefs,or their attitude towards this decision.I can only wish them the strength to make their decision..
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
27 Sep 10
Yes, it is a real tough decision to made, either to continue or to terminate. What they think is that they do not want to bring the child to the world to suffer if the child is down's. This is really sad and hard to make decision on such a thing. No one like to have this happen. People who are not involved with the real situation like this will never understand how they feel. Some people can easily just say to terminate it, but is it so easy to terminate your own baby? Is is not easy but is real tough!
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
26 Sep 10
Hi Yspmyl,
I am so sorry that your friend is faced with such a tough decision and I'm sure it is an extremely tough decision. I got pregnant when I was nearly 40 and so of course, having a baby with down's syndrome was a concern. I couldn't say for sure what I would have ended up deciding in the end. As it was, I had to really consider all options on carrying this baby regardless of any defects. Not only was my age a factor but I was a single mom and had 3 children already at home and not much help from their father. I was on birth control but as you know, it isn't 100% effective. After much thought, I decided that I just could not go through with an abortion and there was no way I'd carry it to term and be able to put it up for adoption. I think that I probably would have kept it even knowing it would have down's syndrome. I have met some very beautiful down's syndrome children. I think I could deal with the challenges of raising a child with down syndrome a lot easier than the alternative solutions. I would never judge anyone for making a decision that would be different than mine. Decisions like this are usually very well thought out and very painful and personal. I wish your friend the best.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
1 Oct 10
Hi Sid556,
I think you are really brave enough to face with the situation. You are a single mom and had 3 children and here come another one. I cannot imagine if I were you, I would not have the guts to have the 4th baby. I won't be afford to take care of the 4 children. If one of them is down's, then the situation will be worst. I have meet a few down's syndrome children as well and I do think that they are friendly but just they need extra care. To make a decision like this is really very difficult and tough.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
1 Oct 10
You would be very brave to if you were faced with such a decision. The only ones that can't imagine it are the ones that have never had to. When you are in a spot like this, you just deal and think about it afterwards. It gives you a little more empathy for those that are struggling with these decisions.
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
26 Sep 10
My son goes to a playgroup for children with special needs and there are a few that have down syndrome there. I have to say I like those children a lot. I am a primary school teacher and in my career I have taught two children at different schools with down syndrome. The little girl was delightful and everyone liked her. The little boy worked alongside his learning support assistant. He dictated his answers to her in a Maths test and he came third in the class.
If it was suspected that in a pregnancy of mine I was expecting a down syndrome baby I would carry on with my pregnancy. I would have a scan with the fetal medicine unit but I wouldn't choose to have the invasive type test. I would think that it was fate and just go with it. I would love and care for him or her if I had a down syndrome baby. I hope that your friend will continue with her pregnancy. I think that termination would be a bad decision because it wouldn't give her baby a chance.
In April 2007 at 36 weeks pregnancy I got the shock that I was expecting a baby boy with spina bifida and hydrocephalus. I had the home birth that I had planned for. My baby son had his back stitched up and a shunt put into his head. He needs catheter care and he will never be able to walk. From the day my son was born I have loved him. He is a lovely little boy with a bright smile. A disabled baby should be given the chance to live in my opinion.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
1 Oct 10
I did met with a few down syndrome kids before and they are much more friendly than the normal kids. But if I can choose I do not want to have one, not because I am bias, but having a down syndrome kid will need full attention and you got to give them extra care. I do not think I will have the patient to take care of them. But if God really give me a down syndrome child, I will accept it willingly. I will still give my best to my every child even though if is a down syndrome child.
@oldchem1 (8132)
•
26 Sep 10
I have been in this same situation.
I had my 4th child at 39 and my 5th at 45, on each occasion I was told that there was a VERY high chance of me having Downs child because of my age; however I refused an amnio as I knew that whatever the result I would not have terminated the pregnancy.
What the amnio DOESN'T show is the severity of the syndrome - some children can only be slightly affected. And if they DO have Downs, this doesn't make them any lesser of a person - in today's society these children do so well in education and get jobs and manage to lead a decent life. I know several people with Downs and they are lovely people.
With my last pregnancy I HAD to have the triple blood test, and this resulted in 3 midwives coming round with long faces telling me that there was an extremely high chance that Jack was a Down's - all this did was pout more pressure on me as that baby was staying just where he was!!
As it happens he was fine when he was born and is now a huge, strapping, healthy and athletic 14 year old.
For me there is no way that I would terminate a pregnancy for this reason.
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
26 Sep 10
It is so true that the amnio doesn't show the severity of the syndrome. Similarly in spina bifida some people are only slighty affected. Until a baby is born a doctor can't say how bably affected a disabled baby will be. I know some ladies that have an autistic child and they didn't find out until there child was more than a year old.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
1 Oct 10
What I learn from the specialist doctor is the amonio test can actually detect the down syndrome but not other defects. When a fetus was detected with thick neck, there are definitely will be some other defect if not down. It is hard to make decision either to terminate or just accept the fact. To accept the fact, one must be strong enough to face it. I believe all these are already fated and no matter what you do it will be still happen. I just hope that my friend will not take terminate the pregnancy as her decision.
@kukueye (1759)
• Malaysia
25 Sep 10
It is hard to imagine that kind of decision.I think one of the best way is to take the future parents to see down syndrome kids or association , mix around with them , and see whether they can take the rest of their life responsibility to take care this special child. Personally i think i can't bear the responsibility nor the suffering this child will endure for the rest of his life.Personally i think abortion is a choise.Better sent the child straight to heaven rather then suffer here in planet earth.I as parent rather bear the sin then the child bear the sin of his father/mother.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
27 Sep 10
Yes, oldchem, I do agree with you that a down syndrome child will not fell pain or being a down syndrome child. It is not the right for a parent to take away their life. I believe down syndrome child are very friendly and much nicer than a normal people, they will not have the evil in them that they will harm other like in many normal people. They just need extra care so that they can learn to be independent.
@RebeccaScarlett (2532)
• Canada
1 Mar 11
Before I had my daughter I would have said abortion.
...
Now I think I would cry a lot and be scared, wondering if I was up to the challenge of being patient and loving enough (I don't know if I could -- I am not a saint) but I doubt I could just "get rid of" my baby like that.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
1 Mar 11
I think to make the decision to abort the baby is something really difficult especially that is your own baby. How can a mother kill her own baby? But if you found out that your baby have some serious defect that will burden her own life, what will you do, will you still want to deliver her to this world and let her suffer? This will be a really tough question to answer.
@RebeccaScarlett (2532)
• Canada
1 Mar 11
Yes, that is the really tough thing. What if there was a different condition, where the baby would almost surely die right after being born? Then you would have more grief, and all the medical bills, but no precious child to take home.
These situations are so difficult, because no one can know the future. So you don't know if you're making the right decision or not.
@pogi253 (1596)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Children with down syndrome are mentally retarded. Some physical characteristics of down syndrome include slanted eyelids, a flat nose, a short neck, a tongue that sticks out of the mouth, a broad forehead and a very round face. It is impossible to tell by birth how a child is going to develop. Children with down syndrome may experience hearing problems, heart deficiencies and Alzheimer's. Down syndrome is not a reason to discriminate. We should regard them as fellow humans and stop their aversion. They are just people like us who are trapped in a body which sometimes fails them.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
27 Sep 10
From what I learn about down syndrome is a chromosomal disorder caused by the presence of all or part of an extra 21st chromosome. Often Down syndrome is associated with some impairment of cognitive ability and physical growth, and a particular set of facial characteristics. Down syndrome in a fetus can be identified with amniocentesis during pregnancy or in a baby at birth. And they tend to have lower IQ than a normal child. Down syndrome children will need extra care during their growing up period so that they can be independent. But it is harder for them to learn than a normal child. It is not their fault to become a down syndrome but not one will want this to happen to their child either.
@momof3kids (1894)
• Singapore
25 Sep 10
I have commented in box 1 what I have felt from my experience. At my first check up the ultrasound showed a baby with a thick neck also. my husband and I were ready to accept the worse but we decided to go for the amnio. I remembered the suspense all throughout the time waiting for the result. It was not a pleasant feeling.
I called two of my friends who have been through the same experience, it turned out that both of their babies turn out normal despite what the doctors told them.
Like what 3honor has written, a downs syndrome baby is not a bad thing. Maybe its easy for me to say since my baby turns out to be normal so you are right in saying that its a tough decision for your friend. But i do hope whatever it turns out to be, they lean more towards on keeping the baby.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
27 Sep 10
Thank you momof3kids for your respond, I believe those parent that have never faced with this kind of situation will never understand the feeling of the parent. It is so hard to make such a decision either to terminate or to continue. They fear that they cannot afford to take care of the baby if it turn out positive. The mother is real sad and keep crying when she heard what the doctor told her. No one will hope that their baby born with some defects. I am happy that your baby turn out normal since the doctor suspected is a down's. I do hope that it will be the same for my friend's baby as well. But, still, they will need to wait until the 16th week to do the amnio test and then they will make the toughest decision on earth.
@hbsbucks (40)
• United States
1 Mar 11
Personally, I couldn't fathom terminating a beautiful life simply because he/she may be imperfect.
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (14351)
• West Haven, Connecticut
18 Jul 16
Thats a very tough situation, I wouldnt know what to do either cause you literally have to take care of that child until you die
