You are beautiful

It's a cultural thing not to crow about our own beauty, but it's also a self esteem thing, probably from years of not being "good enough" to somebody...

hi oh dear yes. I am very overweight and very self conscious about my weight so when I meet strangers I am often pretty shy. you can see my photo with Lori on Facebook, I am very chubby but have pretty white hair and nice blue green eyes.I think this is more a female thing as from an early age we are taught we must always look really pretty and alas some of us just are not pretty on the outside even as people like us for our personality.

I have met many people like your friend and I, too, am one of them. I can't for the life of me understand why people think they are ugly or why they dwell on their imagined imperfections but I do the same thing. Perhaps they were conditioned as children, their classmates or a relative told them they were ugly, would be so pretty if not for (fill in the blank), or they have unrealistic expectations. You just keep on telling her, though. It makes her feel appreciated and probably makes her feel beautiful for a while, at least.

I would assume that both genders suffer from the inability to see themselves as others (sometimes that's a good thing). However, I think that more women fall into that category. We grew up believing we had to do things to ourselves to be attractive, hence we suffer from high heels, girdles/corsets and bras, makeup, uncomfortable clothing in ever changing styles, and cosmetic surgery. When we can wear comfortable clothes and shoes and still feel attractive to others, then we'll be on the same playing field. Although you DO look pretty good in heels yourself...

I am the same way as your friend, I am always told how beautiful I am, by family, friends and even perfect strangers. It's not a self esteem problem, I know I am beautiful I would just prefer people to compliment me on my intellect occasionally and make note that I am a good friend/person who takes time to think of others. Being beautiful is a physical compliment generally, and that makes the compliment seem a little cheesy.

Just because she doesn't find herself to be attractive does not mean that she is downing herself. Physical attractiveness may not matter to her so when she looks into the mirror she does not see an attractive person. Physical attractiveness is not understood by everyone. When someone doesn't understand it, they fail to see their own attractiveness or unattractiveness on a physical level. Either way, I don't think it matters to them if they don't understand it in the first place.

I'm sure part of the beauty of a person like that lies in not realising how lovely they are. You're lucky enough to be married to a woman who does not seem aware of the beauty that emanates from her. I don't think it's a 'gender' thing, it's just a personality trait.

I was raised with criticism and ended up in relationships where I was treated with disrespect and disdain, beaten and cheated on, lied to and rejected. I have seen photos of myself as a younger woman and I see a very attractive lady but at no time have I been aware of this. I always dressed modestly and never tried to be sexy or alluring. If I got dressed up and looked what I thought to be over the top I would change...in fact, I realise now that I looked stunning at times but I felt extremely self conscious and felt I did not have the power to carry it off. Now, I hate my weight, my eyes, teeth, wrinkles, double chin, bushy hair and a number of other things that make me think I don't really need to ever be intimate with anyone ever again . I don't think these are hang-ups but that I have faced reality. I don't have a problem meeting people but I guess I'm of an age where I believe I'm not going to meet someone who is interested enough to get to know me and I know people look at me and see someone who is fat and unattractive.

I know someone like that....NOVA! I love her to bits, as do you. Hangups? Um, I think that I used to be quite pretty when I was much younger, and all dressed up to the nines every day for work, but I don't really work at it that often any more. I just dressed up to go somewhere on thursday, and felt a bit fat, but the hubs said I looked beautiful. So, that made me feel very good, better than I had been feeling about my appearance for some time. Is it a female thing? Maybe, but don't think it is exclusive.

i dont have hangups on myself but my husband thinks he is a troll and he isnt! i once wrote "i love you" on the bathroom mirror and i waited and waited and was wondering why he didnt acknowledge it and i even told him to look at the mirror and he wouldnt.. apparently he never looks in the mirror because he thinks he is too ugly to look at!! i was like WTF

Hi P1key, I have always said you are one in a million, you only see the good things, but as for me, as you know I'm no great beauty, won't make miss world but I alwasy say that inner beauty counts but like this lady,if you have inner beauty as well as outer, thats a bounus and I rekond the Boss as both, hugs. Tamara xxxx

Hello my friend p1kef1sh Ji, Well, I may dis-appoint you by my feelings on the subject, as I find myself totally in contrast. I think a person knows about her/him self much better tyahn anyone else by innetr as well as outer. So tehr is no question for her not to know about herself. But I do agree with you it could happen for similar and both genders. Gender is not a bar. Take care. May God bless You and have a great time.

I do have that. I thought I dont have it anymore but I do. Sometimes its difficult for me to accept some things in life. Sometimes I feel like I cannot be confident enough and I always think that I am not beautiful and others are more beautiful than me.

Yeah. Man suffers too. So do I. Maybe it is phycological thing. We need to go to see a phycological doctor, but it is too expensive.

I seem to have the opposite problem. As far as I know, I'm a good person and I like to think I'm not bad looking but I do seem to have trouble convincing other people sometimes! It can be hard to believe these things of oneself sometimes particularly if there aren't many others who appear to see it. I think both genders can have trouble but perhaps men just don't show it so much or maybe they are less inclined to care what other people think or are better at hiding the fact that they do!

I think at one time it was more of a female type thing, but these days many males are beginning to suffer from it as well... why else would boys have the body image problems some girls have?

We all do sometimes feel inferior, that's just normal, I think. I have experienced that sometimes but I am learning to love myself more.

Man suffers too. You are good guy. But not everyone is the same nice as u. Trust me, it is a problem from long time ago, maybe the childhood. It is psychological problem. I suffers too. We need to see a psychological doctor^V^