How Long Is Too Long?
By deliawas
@deliawas (54)
United States
September 25, 2010 2:34pm CST
When dating a person how long do you give them before you expect a decision to be made whether to be monogamous or not. A little background on why I ask: I have been dating the same guy for 10 months now, we get along very well, I am super supportive of his dreams, calm him down, keep him from stressing or at least I try and for me he is a very great positive role model who makes me smile, gives me good advice, and enjoys doing little things to keep me happy. We have met each others family but when I went to his family reunion 2 weeks ago he made a point of correcting them when they called me his girlfriend. Granted we are not bf/gf but his reaction is always to correct people immediately. I gave him until our 1 year anniversary to make up his mind about whether to be with me and only me (he claims he is only with me and I believe him) or to be just friends and see other people.
I am not in a rush for a relationship but I feel like when you need more than a year to decide if you wanna be exclusive with someone then there are doubts that clearly can't be worked on and you should give up the romantic part. I have made my stance very clear and he knows that I would not date someone for much longer than a year or be with someone beyond 5 years without even the slightest interest in marriage. I just don't know if I'm being too strict with the time line or if I should stick to the timeline and stand my ground. What do you guys think?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
26 Sep 10
It shouldn't take too long for us to realize if the relationship is going to be a monogsamous one or not. i would say if you still have these doubts after a year long relationship with someone, you should consider the direction this relationship might be heading.
@cutetari (43)
• Indonesia
25 Sep 10
Actually it does not matter how long is too important, because it only shows the quantity rather than quality. This means that one cannot be determined by how long should decide to convince yourself that a male is indeed going to be her life partner forever, could be a new 2 months know and interact was already fit and immediately decided to get married, there is also a need of time until many years to know him and decide willing to marry these men. One my personal experience, I know and make friends with my partner for 4 years now, and a relationship dating for 3 years, only then boldly decided to get married. While on the road dating relationship, there's always someone else who tried to enter a relationship with me, but ended up with comparisons that exist, it was decided it is now my partner is the best person for me at this time
@IoanaBI (494)
• Romania
25 Sep 10
I know if i can be exclusive with a guy after 3 weeks. If in 3 weeks with 3-4 dates/ week he did not get my attention than i have to move on. I do not agree with meeting other people during this, and if he wants to meet, than definetly he did not get my attention. 5 years is indeed a long time to know the person, his reactions, his personality, and to know if you want to be with him for the rest of your life :)
