How do i deal with my mom being my boss?
By nikramos
@nikramos (698)
Philippines
September 26, 2010 6:01am CST
i've been working with my mom for family business. i was given my specific tasks already but whenever i have new ideas or want to do things for the improvement of the business,we always argue.i've always consulted her but our ideas don't always meet. i want to defend my choices and point out to her that being assigned to certain tasks entitles me to decide for it. when situations at work don't turn out well, i want to blame her for somehow not agreeing to my ideas, but i can't and i won't.
i'm all about having pure professional relationship with her at work. i don't want the mother-daughter relationship to get in the way of business. she thinks otherwise and is always telling me to just follow her because she's my mom. not like i'm losing respect for her already but i don't know i'm confused about how to deal. need opinions.
1 person likes this
6 responses
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
26 Sep 10
One thing i have always said is to never go into business with family or friends.
As this is your mom it gets a bit worse.
I know you love and respect your mom, but for once and for all you need to talk to her about this and stand-up to her when it comes to such decisions.
Your not a child anymore and it is time to make her see that you are good in what you do and that you can take and handle the blame when you have made a mistake.
Maybe that is what she is waiting for, you know.
Luck.
TATA.
@nikramos (698)
• Philippines
26 Sep 10
i see your point. most often than not, i risk having to argue with her just to prove her i can manage. what she can't fully grasp is the fact that when we're in the office, she handles a different task and i handle mine and she shouldn't act as a mom (i don't know, i hope i don't sound harsh, i didn't mean to be) so if she gets in my decisions everything's messed up. talking to her sounds like a good idea, i just hope she's open to accepting it. got to take adjustments a day at a time. hope it all works fine. i'll take your word for it.:)
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
26 Sep 10
This is really tough for the both of you as the mother daughter thoughtful relationship always interferes with ethically performing a job.
I am sure you mother has a bit of a harder time with this as she must adhere to employee boss first as to not show any form of favoritism amongst the other employees as well.
My suggestion would be outside of the work area maybe speak to your mother and explain that you are not trying to rock the boat at work, but just trying to make things easier on her. I am sure she will understand your point of view.
This has to be really tough for you.
@nikramos (698)
• Philippines
27 Sep 10
it has been really tough which is why a few years back, i decided to just work outside and do my thing. i don't want to cause any more heated arguments because it's getting into our relationship already and it won't be too healthy. with what i see from her, maybe she understands me because she lets me decide once in awhile. perhaps she just needs to let loose gradually. she's not getting any younger anyway. just needed to vent because lately everything has gotten to my nerves. talk about a really stubborn daughter here, haha.
as always, thanks for the input. i appreciate it :)
@markusgrejaldo (112)
• Philippines
27 Sep 10
I think a line should be clearly drawn between your mother-daughter relationship, and your relationship as employer-employee. It's tough when you think everything overlaps.
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
26 Sep 10
Your mother will always be your mother. When you work together, you have to leave your family feelings at home. when your mother is your boss, you have to show her that respect and treat her as you would any employer.
@BichDiep7191 (251)
• Vietnam
26 Sep 10
I don't like anyone force me to do this or the other. I am happy to be selected. People who fear change would to be like you: not need to think just follow. But I think if the relationship is not between mother and daughter, she would not agree with your idea. She is a boss, she thinks she has experiences, she thinks her idea is better than yours.Maybe you need a new boss who respects your idea.
@pokumon (644)
• United States
26 Sep 10
This is a hard situation. I worked for my brother for two weeks as a painter and I hated how he managed me like he always had to show how better to do it when in fact it was a worse method. They think they know better than you but doesn't make that true. Try approaching her with a trial scenario, which she may be more amenable to. Needless to say I couldn't stand working for a family member and quit after two weeks. Other factors came into play in that I didn't make much (around $7 an hour) and it was hard manual labor. Best of luck to you.
