Parents imposing their dreams and wishes to their children

I am 77 in October and live on a farm that has been in the family for 105 years. WE have lived here so long they named the road after us. My Grandfather bought the farm in 1905 and my dad was born the same year. I was born in the same bedroom in 1933 and, I now have a new house just up the road, but on the same farm. My Grandson has just bought the adjoining farm. That's 5 generations and all have been farmers by choice. Yes I do have 3 sons who have their own businesses away from the farm, but there is always room here if they want to return. The point of the thing is, If you are raising your kids and having a fun life, the kids will want to emulate you and do the same thing!

For me, I do not look at it as imposing. Kids just kinda pick it up from their parents. Others who at first take up different career paths will later on make changes and end up with their parents' business. I think this has something to do with genetics. We tend to inherit our parents' passions, but maybe early in life we fail to recognize it.

I planned to be a broadcaster but my mother wanted me to be a teacher.At first, I refused to pursue college because I hated teaching and I don't like kids either. But my mother insisted;she begged if I could pursue her course.It was then I realized that my mother ,herself, is a desperate teacher.It's a pity she hadn't made it because of early marriage.With no choice, I enrolled myself and took teaching course.After I graduated, my mother thanked me for I achieved her ambition.After a month, I found a job.I was grateful because I knew that it's so hard to find a job if you're a fresh grad.Until now, I still teach and enjoy my salary.My mother remarked that I was obedient for I followed her will.It's my obedience that makes me successful now.As she uttered " Parents know best." And indeed, my mother does know what's the best for me.I'm thankful.My career now wasn't my choice then ,but I am enjoying it now.

Hi there.:) Ah, this is the issue I have been discussing with my husbandore often than not he felt upset whenever I contradicted him of his wishes that his children become doctors in the future.LOL. It isn't not to pick up a fight with him but this is not what I believe in. I told him that whatever my children wants in the future for themselves, I'll support them. Be it a writer or a teacher or a farmer or a doctor, whatever, as long as they are happy with it, that is fine with me. I also told him to encourage my kids to discover themselves. Let them play what they want, especially role play what they want, touch and tinker everything and anything they want (with our supervision, of course). Let them see the wider aspect of the world and as they grew up, they'll soon have an idea of what they want to be. I also told him that if he really wants their kids to be a doctor, as early as today, he must expose them to that field. I believe that a child exposure to something has a great bearing of what they will become . But, my husband isn't a doctor and he is less patient in mentoring them. So, chances are , my kids will opt for something different, as well. They could or couldn't be a doctor.LOL It is ok to influence the kids, but to really impose on something that will never make them happy or at least they are not happy with , is a no-no....

I really do agree to the thought of parents should help their children to attain their goals, but i don't agree to the thought that parents imposing their children to the things what they wanted them to do. It is somehow being unfair for those who have just been doing things for them to please their parents. For the fact, everyone of us has a different goals in life we should not tell to someone to be like someone else on which they really not wanting to become. Parents have really a big part on their children's lives, and these are to share their experiences, guide them to their decisions and give them the right to decide for their owns.

as children we owe so much to our parents who brought us up but it doesnt mean they will govern in our choices in life.the teaching and legacies that they impart us will be very well remeberd and well lived but maybe only until there.we have to give children their own choices how to live their lives.in cases that children of lawyers became lawyer, etc.,its their choice or par of it ,its also what they wanted.But not all the time kids would follow after their parents.give them liberty to choose then after that if they will offer their willingness to go with what parents wanted then that's it.try to encourage them in their choice of fields to endeavor.give them sound judgment and opportunity to fail and to succeed.let them realize that they may be adults and determined but inside they are still children that can go and run to their parents loving arms without questions!!!!

I really hate it when parents impose their beliefs, their wishes, and their dreams on their children because, to me, all children are different, all children are unique, and most children aren't going to end up like their parents. My mom was a clerical accountant, and my dad was a social worker, I am going to be working in the field of English. I am not going to be a social worker or an accountant. My brother's father was an elevator mechanic, and my brother wasn't going to be an elevator mechanic, he was studying to be a lawyer, my brother's siblings, were (in no particular order) nurses (two of the sisters were nurses), a pharmacist (his brother was a pharmacist), and his other sister was a real estate agent and a restaurant owner. So, you take a look at this list, clearly not everyone ends up like their parents. Everyone is different, thus every child is different, thus not everyone is going to have the same kind of career or the same kind of life. I don't expect my children to do the things that I am doing. I don't expect them to major in English, if they do, that's awesome, but I am hoping that they can do other things. I want them to do whatever it is that they feel comfortable doing.

There are some parents who like to impose their own wishes on children, regardless of their childrens' personal wishes. In most cases, I believe it does no good for parents to decide the future for children. Children who are forced to go into a fixed career will seldom be happy with it. But rather, they feel bored and have no passion for work and life until they find what they really need to do. Fortunately, my parents never impose their wishes on me. They give me all the freedom I need to choose to be what kind of person I want to be and what kind of work I want to do. I'm grateful to them because if I were told to do some other jobs instead of my current job, I'll have no hope for future.

When my mother was young, she wanted to be a nurse, but her father vetoed the idea. His girls were going to be school teachers, which he thought was the only career suitable for nice Christian girls. This was back in the 1920s. Since she was an obedient daughter, my mother was an obedient daughter, she went to college and became a school teacher. However, she did not believe that she was a good teacher. She had a hearing problem and a slight speech impediment. She was also very shy. Although she loved children, she rightly believed that she could not be a good teacher. Her father should have listened to her instead of imposing his will on her.

I know some people who really push their hopes on their kids- one family I know only lets their kids go to military academies, so they'll join the military. I don't have a problem with the military- my dad's retired Army himself- but I don't think parents should say that that's their kid's only option in life. I think kids should be allowed to decide what they do with their lives. If they want to act, be the best they can be. Paint, go into law, medicine, business? As long as they're doing what they love, then so be it. I would hate to by pushed into something I didn't like just because my parents wanted me to do it.

Most importantly, parents should spur their children on. I've seen some case where a whole family are doctors. I don't know if it's influence or the career is being imposed by parents. I don't agree with parents imposing their dreams to their children. It will really affect the child's growth and thinking and mindset. They will think: Oh, I must become this, I must become that in order not to disappoint my parents. Now, for that, their happiness has just been ruined by their parents. Children should work hard, the first thing, then think of their own goals and work hard towards it. Parents should also not force them to go according to what they want or want them to do what's new in the career force. Children should go according to their passion.

Yes,it is true some parents pass their frustrations to their children. I don't agree with those kind of thinking. Our kids should be given their chance to choose the career or path that they want or like. We,the parents can give them advise or suggestions,but,we should be a hindrance to their dreams. No matter how we disagree with their choices,we still need to support them and let them try their own capacity and ability to excel with their chosen career or path. We should not let our children down,we must lift their spirit always. I failed from my dream of becoming a painter and my daughter loves to draw,but never i pursue my dreams to be followed by her. I had given her,her freedom,and i am very supportive with her chosen career. I want my kids to grow and follow their own dreams and not my mine. Have a good day always

I think parents shouldn't impose their dreams on their children. Because the fear of not fulfilling the dreams make them depressed. I think now the time is changed. And now parents also think about their children. So I think parents always give freedom to their children that what they want to do in their life.

I'm against parents dictating the future of their children. More often than not, children who were not able to pursue their own choice fail. I had classmates in law school who came from families of lawyers but didn't really want to be like them. Most of them failed. I'm just so blessed that what my parents want for me is the same thing I want for myself. =)

its really a wrong thing. but use sometimes children also must listen to it. some times they are right. like my father use to tell me to become an computer engineer and at that time i use to love pcs. but after sometime i lost interest..my father use to motivate me to study engineering but i didnt listen and now i am running a cyber cafe. and believe me its nothing near an engineers career.

Well, in my opinion parents shouldn't decide their kids' future, as that only can be decided by the very own person who's walking steady towards his or her future. I'm lucky because my family doesn't have any family business, so it's kind of impossible for me that my parents would want me to take care of any family business. Parents should encourage their kids to find a good career and have a good life.