Do you set the boundaries in your relationships?
By chiyochan
@chiyosan (30184)
Philippines
September 28, 2010 12:23am CST
So for your relationdhip with your bf/gf/ wife or husband.. have you set any boundaries or limits as to how far you would approve of their actions? Like if you go out in bars would you allow your bf to dance with your friends (because you know its "nothing"?) i mean, all these sort of things?
My friends and i were chatting about this and well she does not mind his bf dancing with her good friends but if it is other women she does not know, she does not like to see them dance together at all. etc... And now they are having a misunderstanding so all these actions are brought out as if they have not talked about these before as part of the "okay" things to do for each of them... and now it seems like an issue!
So would you set boundaries and have them clear from the begining so each one of you in the relationship knows when not to cross the line?
2 people like this
5 responses
@johney264 (544)
• China
1 Oct 10
Dance together with others women may be really bad behavior for you because a boy want dance with a girl usually means he appreciate her and want build a special relationship with her, if he already knowing or feeling that you don't like he dance with that woman but still holding together, there will be a big problem between your relationship or you should do some thing unusual to call him back to your heart, I think the love need happiness to preserve. long time dance with another girl where is the happiness you need.
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
29 Sep 10
I allow my hubby to engage in activities on his own. I give him freedom to do what he wants. For I trust him that he knows his limitations. If ever he crossed over the line, I told him right away. We discuss it & made necessary agreement if needed.
@Ramaditya (1227)
• Indonesia
28 Sep 10
If we talk about marriage relationship, then I will say no more than yes. She is my wife and we are bounded both physically and mentally.
But I will never ever set limitations or boundries to my girlfriend. She has not become part of me (legally) yet, and she is not my responsibility yet. Plus, if she truly loves me then I don’t need some sort of stupid boundries to make her stay close to me always, right?
@jypsyjulia (912)
• United States
28 Sep 10
I set them at the beginning. That way there's no question about what can happen and what can't. And if a new boundary or "rule" (haha) has to be set, I generally will talk it out with him and we'll negotiate and such. :)
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
28 Sep 10
For me setting bounderies in one relationship is look like a land or property that you put "no trespass private property". In this case your declaring and claiming this is mind, that is mind - what do you feel if the situation is like that in your relationship specially when talking about bf/gf. In husband and wife relationship still no need bounderies as long as both party knows their position, stand and status. Setting bounderies is look like rules and regulation - no love, trust and respect.. dictator is the bottom line.
